Self Help Books!

Guest · Posted: Tue Jul 06, 2004 11:31 pm Post subject: Self Help Books!

Any one read any Cognitive Behaviour Therapy Self Help Books?

Was just wondering how are you supposed to get rid of the Negative Atomatic Thoughts and change them into Rational Thoughts if you know what certain (insensitive people) are going to think of you? Like when people say to you 'Shut up you talk to much'. How can you then tell yourself that your Atomatic Thought is wrong or is going to be wrong, if you know what I mean!

I find the Self Help books very difficult to follow, but giving it a go!
They sound obvious to put into practice but hard to take in. Any one had success?

teknohead · Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 10:14 pm Post subject:

[size=7]Hi.
I personally didn't get on with cognitive therapies at all. But I think that the point of challenging automatic negative thoughts isn't about right or wrong but about what is helpfull or unhelpfull.
Good luck with it all.
Smile

Kev.[/size]

Edwards · Guest

I'm totally sold on the cognitive-behavioral model of psychology. It makes total sense to me, and this understanding has helped me reshape my beliefs and my behaviors. I really like the book by David Burns: "The Feeling Good Handbook."

Too much thought · Guest

You say: "The point of challenging automatic negative thoughts isn't about right or wrong but about what is helpfull or unhelpful."

I've thought about this a lot, and I tend to disagree. When you change your reactions and beliefs about who you are, how people react to you, and how you must act in order to preserve your ego, you aren't just "thinking happy thoughts that make you feel good." You are, instead, genuinely altering your social reality.

The world is as we expect it to be - so when we change our expectations, we do, in fact, change the world as we encounter it. For example, you probably know women who think it is their God-given right to be bi***es and who hate men and think they are all jerks. For such women, they will never be proven wrong, because everything will "fit" into their narrow expectations of the world.

Other women have a more nuanced understanding and can see the world with hope and love. These women will have a much different experience of men. Each of them "sees" something the other does not. Which woman is right about the "reality" of the situation? Who's to know -- they create their reality by interpretting it. Only when we get to heaven will we be able to get a phenomenological experience of the world unmediated by our cognitive matrix.

Also, as for "right and wrong" and culture -- culture is extremely malleable. There are no "right and wrong" ways to interact or think. Each person is a cultural actor and creates culture as he acts. Am I "right" when I think it is ok for me to say stupid and ideotic things in a social gathering? I AM if I SAY I AM! That's the power that each of us has. A lot of people with social phobia don't realize that they are cultural masters and not just cultural slaves.

SO, in conclusion, I disagree with your statement that there is a difference between developing new "true" thoughts and developing new "helpful" thoughts. The true is helpful and the helpful is true. They are the same thing, and if you believe your thoughts are "helpful" but not "true," then you haven't quite changed your mind about your social reality in ways that will leave you permanently free of this disorder.

Guest · Posted: Thu Jul 08, 2004 10:41 am Post subject:

I don't understand!