Do people get sick of people saying "oh your so quite!&

richkid

I just wondered how people have reacted to this type of question or something relatiely annoying like "smile" when you don't feel like it. I ask becasue when peole do say that they say it like they have a probem with it . I feel like just saying well its not your problem and I'm the one that has to deal with it you ingnorant fool! I sometimes think its better to just say one on one I suffer from social phobia its diffcult but I'm trying my best to get over it. But I can't help feeling they will either look at me pathetically like i'm a complete loser, or complety ignore me which is the last thing I want. All i would like is for people to understand sometimes is that i'm not quite because of them or I don't have anything to say is that i get extremely nervous.

Does anyone feel it is easy just to tell people about it?

p.s. its not part of who you are thats because you hae got so use to it you think it is. I think there for i am!

Crimefish · Posted: Sat Jul 03, 2004 10:06 pm Post subject:

I know exactly what you mean.
It's so annoying when people say stuff like "cheer up, it might never happen". How would they know it hasn't already happened?
Or telling you to smile when you had what you thought was a perfectly neutral expression. Why does a person have to smile to be happy? Can't I just relax my face?

Hope · Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2004 4:06 am Post subject:

Generally I only get conspicuously quiet when the group I'm in is large (say over 10) or other individual(s) are loud and/or aggressive.
If my quietness is brought up, I'd like to say I'm listening and you're already doing plenty of talking for all of us put together, but usually just say something like I'm listening today.

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln (though this doesn't usually apply to SP sufferers)

I _generally_ find loud people have very little to say, but spend a whole lot of time saying it. Their insecurity (fear or being ignored) won't allow them to shut up.

richkid · Posted: Sun Jul 04, 2004 3:50 pm Post subject:

Hope i have to say that is the most brillant thought i've heard on this forum for a long time.

My counsellor did say open your eyes and actually listen to what is being said and you will realise what is actually being said. It does get to the point with me that happens extremely quickly, is that i freeze up may jaw close and thats that i'm not going to talk. I know why i do this just findng so diffcult to turn it around then the cycle begins and i guess i give up on my self.

I appreciate that quote you put up and going to try to remember it.

Elkapath · Posted: Mon Jul 05, 2004 4:30 pm Post subject:

i get told to smile evan if i don't know the person walking down the street and the last time someone told me to smile I just did a big cheezing smile showing all my teath but he thought it was funny so i found it funny too

SAD · Guest

OOOHHH! I hate people like you! When I see you scowling at me, it makes me feel like a piece of dirt - like I've done something wrong. Would it kill you to smile a bit? Wouldn't the world be much nicer if we smiled at each other?

richkid · Posted: Wed Jul 07, 2004 8:29 pm Post subject:

i sense a bit of hostilty SAD, guess this is not something you have a problem with. Don't get me wrong smiling feels great, but when yur not feeling good about yourself it diffcult to smile. It feels false I would rather smile when i mean to. Its just frustrating when people say stuff like "smile" in a patronising way like there is something desperatly wrong with you beacause you don't or you don't fell like it. This was a thought for people with a like minded view of experinces they have. I'm a bit taken back by your comment.

SAD · Guest

It's just that wherever I go I feel like people are scrutinizing me and judging me unworthy - I guess it's just a symptom of my social anxiety disorder. I read too much into people's facial expressions. So when I see people scowling at me, it really throws me for a loop. What I should realize is that they are probably victims of social anxiety disorder too - as I read in this thread.

We're all just people with social anxiety disorder marching around scaring the crap out of each other. I just think we should smile sweetly at each other so that we all feel a bit better.

Lola · Guest

SAD, sometimes it is a defense mechanism. I never smile to people at all and If I do, it is a half non-meaningful smile, because I have fear of rejection. I've had people in my past who smiled laughingly at me, smirked at me, and smiled also giving disapproval looks. So I don't open up easily for others to take advantage and hurt me. If I knew it was a truly kind person, yes I would give a nice smile, but the truth is that there aren't many people like that out there.

aminQassim · Newbie User Joined: May 20, 2008 Posts: 5

the most word people say to me when they look at my face "Are you ok" its frustrating that makes me feel awful like there is some thing wrong with me.