"Eye candy"

Moonie · Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 8:35 pm Post subject: "Eye candy"

I have been with my BF for 9 months. We met online and talked 3 months before actually meeting last summer. I was a bit tipsy and had invited him out to a club. We had fun, I was drunk, and we didn't really hang out again because I was too shy. A month later, we met again at a bar, and THEN finally went on some sober dates. He's quite the opposite of me- outgoing, confident, sociable, quick-witted. Online, we talked for hours and it was great. I mean, I am beocming comfortable with him, but not completely my true self. I just feel as though that he would find me perfect if I were more like my online-self/ more sociable/ more spotaneous. He says to me that I am "eye candy" rather jokingly, but still it feels that it might just be the case at times... Can a relationship like this work? I don't just want to be eye candy..

Bexi · Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 8:37 pm Post subject:

is "eye-candy" like a trophy gf??

ChrisC · Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 8:46 pm Post subject:

It means that he thinks that she is "well fit."

Bexi · Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 8:48 pm Post subject:

ooooo ok! so u dont want to b with a fella who just thinks ur hot? well, i doubt a guy would b with u for 9 MONTHS if it was just ur looks?? If he just liked ur looks, im sure it'd be just a sexual thing, and last a few weeks at most, is this ur worry? Sorry if i got it wrong x

Kalima · Posted: Wed Jul 20, 2005 8:58 pm Post subject: Re: "Eye candy"

Moonie · Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2005 11:21 pm Post subject: reply

I didn't really think of that point- of him being around for 9 months. I read that being with someone just for looks usually doesn't last long- probably 3 mo. at most. I met him on one of those online dating sites. I found his profile and IMed him. I didn't ever think that I would actually meet someone online in real life.. It just happened! Though, I do think it helped a lot that we talked for 3 months online before even meeting. It gave us a bit of a history/ things to discuss.

Bexi · Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2005 11:28 pm Post subject:

awwwwwwwww Laughing

does he make u laugh? and smile and content? does he help with ur SP/SA?

nerdgirl178 · Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2005 2:35 am Post subject:

Does he know you have SP?? I am never my "true-self" when I am around guys!!! And guess? It never works out. But then again I never had a guy stick around with me for nine 9 months, so you are lucky. I think if you got this far it may be a good relationship Smile

MadCat · Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2005 2:49 am Post subject:

Sorry for short reply I'm not feeling well physically.

I just want to say it amazes me how all you people with social phobia are all different. There's like tons of different variations and some it seems to make it hard for me to figure out.

A club is perhaps one o fthe most social events a person can goto. It's designed to be social, even if there is no talking. It's a social gathering.

I never understand that. I think more research needs to be done into SP because it seems to be choosey on what is social and what is not. Once again this just goes to prove that it's all in the mind.

If a person's mind beliefs XX is social then social phobia kicks in.
IF a person;s mind doesn't think XX is social then it won't. I know it's a very primative way to look at it but I guess I may have answered my own question. Now I understand why social phobia has the highest cure rate through changing a persons thinking and thoughts.

Anyway on a personal note I'd never go to club and drink alcohol. Clubs = Social

Alcohol = Social (people who drink alcohol alone are mostly alcoholics and that's a fact).

So there's my thoughts on the matter. Sorry it wasn't actually helping anything.

_________________
"Unreality can be as real as reality itself"

Carina33 · Posted: Sat Jul 23, 2005 3:20 am Post subject:

I wouldn't worry about being called "eye candy" if it has lasted that long. It is probably only a bit of joking. One time I warned a guy that I would probably be very quiet and it would look like I was just following him around if we went to this party. He told me that it was alright and that I had to go, and he told me that I could just be his "arm candy"... and that's what even gave me the courage to go in the end.