SELF-CONSCIOUS to the extreme

Lola · Guest

Can't even go anywhere myself anymore... too afraid to... I live a sad existence. One of my problems is that I look like a 13 year old and am judged for that as well. It seems that whatever situation I have ever been in throughout my entire life, I was always the one picked out for others to give negative attention to. Have no idea why. Quit my dreams for fear that others would judge me... pretty much ruined my whole entire life.. Just strangers causing trouble with me because they probably see my weakness. I don't think I could deal with that again. I choose to stay in my house or drink to overcome my fears. When I drink, I'm able to get so many things done around the house and focus etc. When I don't drink, I sit in depression... sad sad...
Extremely self-conscious wherever I go. If I would just stop focusing on myself and pay attention to what I wanted to get done or the joy that could be had, then things would be easier... but easier said than done.

Lola · Guest

Or I should say, If I could quit focusing on others and the way I am viewed in their eyes etc... things could be easier.

Stuck_in_a_rut · Guest

I feel the same as you do lola, I drink every night. I cant go out, I feel as if I am being looked at all the time & judged. I cant go outside the front door, their is always gangs outside & they are just wasters & feel as if they are laughing at me or something, so uncomfortable. I have been advised to go the doctors, I want to go, but I dont think I could make it, unless it was open at 4am then maybe I could run up & not get seen. Life really sucks right now & I cant see myself getting out of this & leading a normal life again. Im just waiting for god to release me now Exclamation

gemini · Guest

You remind me of myself. I feel like I live a horrible existance also. I feel like people are always pointing out my faults like how skinny I am or how quiet I am. I am afraid to talk in social situations because I am afraid of being judged and afaid of rejection. I am tired of not showing my true self, but I am afraid to. I wouldn't even walk at my own graduation because I didn't want everyone looking at me. In college, I am afaid to ask questions so I settle for a lower grade.

Regal70 · Posted: Sat Jul 10, 2004 12:34 pm Post subject:

Part of the symptoms of SP is having an irrational belief that others are judging you at an extreme level. It can be very hard to do, and you need to take it slow, but you need to begin to recognize these beliefs as irrational and question them. In the end, I think we will all be cured when we realize that even if everyone WAS judging us (which they are not), we don't care anyway!!

Guest · Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2004 3:12 am Post subject:

I hear ya. I always feel people are judging me 24/7. Along the lines of the drinking, im not to the point of sitting home alone and drinking...yet lol. I go out, i force myself at times but once I'm out im glad i did. However when its like a party situation with new people..I feel more comfortable drinking so if i do make an ass of myself I can blame it nicely on the alcohol Wink

. But I think you should try to get out with some friends. If you keep staying in eventually you wont go out at all, force yourself even if it's to the grocery store Laughing

good luck! Razz

Regal70 · Posted: Tue Jul 13, 2004 12:12 am Post subject:

I agree. The more you isolate yourself the worse it is going to get!!

kc69 · Posted: Tue Jul 13, 2004 8:32 pm Post subject:

I've only read the first post but I have that problem to when I drink I feel relaxed and can be very sociable but I don't want to have to rely on alcohol to make me feel comfortable.