Oh my god! LOL. Ok. I'm sorry.
I THINK I HAVE OCD TOO! Maybe not as serious as yours...
1. I always check what I forgot or is my clothing ok before I go to school. I am always convinced that I forgot something.
2. When I do homework or test or exams, I read the questions over and over. When I'm done answering that one, I read the question again, to make sure I'm not answering the wrong question. And finally I read my answer several times. And yes I'm proud of it.
Oh and, look at how fast you respond, you must be checking this every hour! I do that too, LOL!!! However I'm not sure is it because of social anxiety or OCD.
Thanks for the good laugh.
Yup.... I darn near DO check in every hour, with all the clocks, how could I miss?! Checking out the posts at SPW~~~ more than probable is another OC ritual!
I did miss a few hours earlier tho, I was out searching for notes at a few stores! Of course, that was after coming back in my apartment and making sure everything was in order so I could actually LEAVE... you know, if there is a crumb on the kitchen floor, I'm obsessed with picking it up and throwing it away, even if my hands are full and I've got to sit everything down to do it! I moan, I groan, and swear bettter than the best of 'em, but the crumb must go, otherwise, I will be obsessed with the bluddy crumb and it will block out or destroy every other thought in the mumbo jumbo inside my head! A bluddy, ridiculous CRUMB!!! Can you believe it? Of course you can't, I can't!!! Like the crumb can't WAIT 'til I get back. YIKES! I tell myself that very thing, and I REALLY DON"T want to put all the stuff in my arms down and pick it all back up again.... but it just doesn't help at all. ("But officer, I REALLY, HONESTLY didn't KNOW I was speeding! I was thinking about a crumb.") A freaking CRUMB!!!
And the worry about forgetting something, oh yes, how well I know that one! I am constantly checking my car keys to make certain I've got them when I'm outside of my car, like they are going to jump out of my pocket or pocketbook and take a stroll down the mall looking for another set of keys to score with! EEEEIIIYIKES! I HATE IT!
K, gotta get a wee bit of sleep, about an hour's worth.. se yas then!
One thing I hate about OCD is it takes up too much of my time. I didn't have time to finish my ELA exam this year!!! And I was the last to leave in every other of my exams.
Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 6:14 pm Post subject: yikes
I just spend my day craving to get on here and hear more!!!!!! I cant stand it i feel so terrific, and horrable all at the same time...it's like, i cant wait to come and write down my "stuff" and i get on here and it's already on here (and yes, that looks more nurdie than shocked, but since it sais shocked, i'll go with it) I feel crazed with excitment that SOMEONE is so like me and until now, i felt alone in THIS part of my "condition" lol I mean, it just makes so much more sense of the triggers of my panic attacks. If it aint perfect, i cant handle it. It's like, im either completly disorganized, or completly perfect only the perfect is still scatterbrained cause though it was perfect at the time, it makes no sense the next time i go to figure out what ever it was i needed. hum?? and notes,,,,,,,,,,oh geesh!!!!!!!!! It's to a T. I have to have a note by the computer, a note in my purse, a note on the dinner table, a note in the kitchen (in a few places in the kitchen too cause one place might not be enough) and then a note espacially for my mom, a note for wallmart, vons, healthy pet store, fruit and vegi place etc etc etc.........Do i find then when i need them??? Well, sometimes. And then it's organizing them onto one large note that i never fail to loose so when i get into the store to do my organized shopping, i find my one note in my purse..(or in the car) and sadly go home to have to struggle to get out of the house again because "of that darn crumb!!!!!!! ) lol..........geesh!!! oh!!!!! and that invalid session thing,,,,i went through that too and thought it Totally personal, that i just wasnt good enough for this board. And regestering, too scarry! and mabie i wouldnt post what i really felt if someone could track me down....But on the other hand, i'd sure love to be spouting this all a bit more privatly but whos brave enough to post an e addy....Wow, amazing, and i see we have a new joiner too on this ocd thing.....hehe,,,,,Welcome to the halarious nightmare!!! better quit before im invalid again......
Did you take notice it's been OVER an hour since I checked in? (I am not even going to reveal what this 'surprised" icon looks like TO ME! Ummm. Let's just say that if the icon was at a porn site, I'm certain it would be getting a lot of hits. It's surpising that I'm actually surprised that it is surprised) Anyway ( I am very good at rabbiting!) don't start clapping for me yet...the truth is, I couldn't control my compulsion to organize my bathroom... it was just way too out of sorts! My GaWsHhhh... the couple of shampoos I've got were with the WRONG conditioners!! GASP! HORRORS! And although I am ashamed to admit this, I was using a white wash cloth with a beige towel. I may never get into Heaven for THAT ONE! The bathroom is where I spent the majority of the day.. and although I probably would have benefited more from getting a shower, (esp. if someone dropped by... peeeeeUUU! ) my shower had to wait until everything was sorted out and organized completely, and there fore I was able to focus on the shower and not the fact that something wasn't perfect in the bathroom!
I know exactly what you mean about your privacy and anyone finding out who you REALLY are Scardecat! Sometimes when I write, I will be wondering if someone will get the wrong impression of me... like I am really a "me"... I am a just a 'cyber someone', right? THEN... why do I feel like I have eyes all over me even when I write? Like someone at the food store is going to SEE ME looking for my notes and say outloud: "OH! Oh! OH! EVERY ONE LOOK!!! IT'S 'OCDme' FROM SPW!!!!!"
And Ice, as far as a cure.... not that I'm aware of. I suppose there are meds... meds to make you stop counting? Wouldn't surprise me, there are meds to make you want to quit smoking. (Zyban... nasty stuff... REAL nasty stuff! Feels like you are trying to get a mega huge peice of styrofoam down your throat when you eat anything and you get 'addicted' to other things.. like water.. and ICE, Ice! I was employed when I tried Zyban and I was ALWAYS crawling into the cafeteria gasping for air and begging for H2O.. liquid or frozen! My manager told me to either start smoking again or I would be fired. )
Anyway, I've discussed some of my OC 'habits' with my psych, the ones that really frustrate me, and I KNOW she is just trying to make me okay with it, because she will say that I am not being compulsive or obbsessive, I am being 'responsible'..... responsible? RESPONSIBLE? If that's what the -ell it is, please GOD, make me irresponsible, make me not give a flying ~~beeeep~~ ! If my psych is right, which I really don't believe she is, than I am more than just responsible---- I am certainly compulsive about being obsessed with responsibilty, or somethig like that!!!
My OCD was sometimes WORSE than the SP when I worked... I loathed working with a computer that was used by everyone... it was filthy & had EVERYONE ELSE'S favorite snacks embedded in the keys! Arghh... sometimes I would need to clean the entire computer before I could concentrate enough to do any work and ohhhhhhh how it used to frustrate me how DISORGANIZED almost every place I ever worked at was! My productivity sucked because of it, too! I worked at ONE place that ran everything like clock work and every thing was kept and could be found exactly where it belonged..... and I could actually work even beyond my potential there and received a few awards because of it. I swear, 'potential' wasn't part of my anatomy at the other places. To me, disorganization meant 'they' didn't give a ~~beeeep~~, so guess what, neither did I! I put my time in and that was ALL. Oh, that and I organized my locker a good bit. I'm NOT kidding!
Do/have either of you work/worked? At work, it BOTHERED me because I felt as if I should be a part of it all, but I'm not like that at anyone elese's homes, etc., or think any less of anyone because they are disorganized, quite contrary, I desperately long to be like them!
BTW~~ AET SNOTPIL ~~ that's "LIPTONS TEA" backwards... aren't you just SO GLAD I've shared that with you, & doesn't that just make your day/night?? I am so beyond help... and darn proud of it, too! Actually.... aet (eat) snotpil makes me think of taking Zyban again....
ROFLLLLL
LLLLLLLLL
LLLLLLLLL.... (this icon makes me think of extreme cold)
Ok i'm sorry. I'll stop
I'm a germ freak too. DON'T TOUCH MY MOUSE! Perspiration ewwwwwww... Yes you are completely right about the snack thing. My poor keyboard ... The poor "4" key became slow and hard to press - I'm sure that there is some gooey stuff under it. Yuck.
I think my ELA teacher was better at dealing with this.(She was a well-known germ-freak) She was upset about her desk and the computer getting contaminated by people from the bathroom. So she had set up rules for us and substitute teachers. Rules like students and subs must stay away from her counter unless such and such... One day she was really pissed off so she showed us a video of the proper ways of washing hands after bathroom and she did a demonstration with some wierd glowing powder she had in her drawer - I suppose she did that with her last year's class too... Yeah that's one of the topics that she had wasted class time and ranted on and on everyday.
I think lots of people have OCD they just don't realize it because it seems normal because lots of people have it.
funny ice, that i was thinking while reading ............."And this isnt normal????? " lol Sounds normal to me (no im not freezing.. ) I honestly didnt know that these things i HAVE to do were oc....in fact when i first went into have a chat with a psyke, they asked me if i had any ocd. I didnt have a clue and said nope. Well now, i see that since I was pretty darn young, i've fought very odd obsessions of face pulling, having to wear the same shirt etc....and it just kept getting more and more stuff, and hubby is saying "ya just didnt believe me". so then i was thinking im gonna give um (the psyke)an earfull when i go in again but after reading ocdme's experience, i think im gonna keep it to myself. Im afraid he'll say comfortingly "no, your fine, your just responsible" and i'll have to go into a crying jag. Or, a laughing jag, who knows, but i'll obsess over it way too much if i even think im gonna bring it up to him so think i wont. I keep telling him im bi-polar too cause i can be such a happy person, but when in panic mode,im off to the world of over feelings. geesh,,,,,im gonna quit for right now, im gonna get myself all worked up over PSYKE TIME.......yuck, oh,,,,,,i want to talk about work....i'll be back.....
Ohhh yes, I can relate to so much of what you both are saying! I wouldn't touch anything at work without my gloves, I lost them once and refused to use the 'hand jack' (skid mover) without a new pair. My mgr. said I was making way too big of a deal out of it & when I tried to explain my obssession with the multitudes of people that used that jack prior to me without washing their hands, he made fun of me and said: "Euuuuuuuuu!" laughing all the while. (And I'd be willing to gamble that HE was the biggest offender! ULK! GRRRRRRR~~~OSS!)
And when I think of some of the things I did before 'adult-hood'~~ YIKES! I had to sing in a Church choir when I was about 6 or 7, and I know now SP played a huge part in this...... but the ONLY WAY I could DEAL with being up on stage in front of all those people was to do a 'motion thing' with my eyes ... I sarted with looking up, then to the right, then down, to the left and up again ... without stoppping, I just kept it going while I was singing, or was I even singing? I don't remember singing! But doing THIS assinine ritual, I didn't SEE the people, and I focused on not f-ing up the up-right-down-left-up thing instead of the fact that that were all there!! My parents and older sister asked me what the -ell I was 'doing up there' (on stage) on the way home in the car. Geeee, I thought at least my sister would think I was kewel and LAUGH about the spectacle I made of myself! and even WORSE.... I figure chances are the entire singing part of the program was forgotten as soon as the people left the Church, but I probably made such an impression that familys were laughing and discussing my bazaar preformance even through dinner!
I wasn't terrorized about going back to Church the following Sunday.... I figured as long as I didn't do the 'eye thing', no one would rocognize me! (I'm probably right, too! )
Awwwwww, Ice Sweetie.... thanks for the compliments! Just so you know, though..... I prefer $$$$ to clapping & absolutely no autographs!!! Wellll, maybe, maybe ONE autograph.. but just for YOU!
THIS icon reminds me of almost every man I started a relationship with...........
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Great to hear from you, too! 
("But officer, I REALLY, HONESTLY didn't KNOW I was speeding! I was thinking about 
(I am not even going to reveal what this 'surprised" icon looks like TO ME! Ummm. Let's just say that if the icon was at a porn site, I'm certain it would be getting a lot of hits. It's surpising that I'm actually surprised that it is surprised) Anyway ( I am very good at rabbiting!) don't start clapping for me yet...the truth is, I couldn't control my compulsion to organize my bathroom... it was just way too out of sorts! My GaWsHhhh... the couple of shampoos I've got were with the WRONG conditioners!! GASP! HORRORS! And although I am ashamed to admit this, I was using a white wash cloth with a beige towel. 
I may never get into Heaven for THAT ONE! 
The bathroom is where I spent the majority of the day.. and although I probably would have benefited more from getting a shower, (esp. if someone dropped by... peeeeeUUU! 
Like someone at the food store is going to SEE ME looking for my notes and say outloud: "OH! Oh! OH! EVERY ONE 
GRRRRRRR~~~OSS!)
