What do u think caused your SP?

Tris · Posted: Thu May 13, 2004 2:41 am Post subject: What do u think caused your SP?

Ive been trying to figure out where my SP came from...its really bothering me, im thinkin maybe if i find out what caused it i could get over it...i know NEVER gonna happen, but hey its a thought :)

So ive been thinkin about it, and i think its many things, 1) my weight, ive always been VERY skinny, cant gain weight to save my life, ive been wearing sweat pants under my reg pants to try and make myself look bigger for about 8 years now and ive tried not to, but i just feel weird and ugly without them. HOW CRAZY IS THAT!
2)My father has never really been a father, never cared about me and has told me that more then once.
3) i think my mother might have a slight case of it
4) grew up poor because of my father so never had anything and got picked on alot.
5) im dsylexic so i think that has a big part to do with this, never felt smart enough, always hard a hard time.

So im thinkin if i let go of allll these things i could be normal! (yeah hope u sense the humor in that one)

Well if anyone else wants to brainstorm with me i would love to hear some of your reason, if you could pin point them and dont mind sharing

_________________
Tris

Crimefish · Posted: Thu May 13, 2004 6:16 pm Post subject:

I think my dad has SA, so it could be because of that. I have Crohn's, and I know they're related, but I don't know which came first. I think school gave me SA.

Tris · Posted: Thu May 13, 2004 7:43 pm Post subject:

My friends mother has chrons :( im sorry to hear that...but im thinkin the same as u two...it comes from family...and when things happen that arent so good it builds the walls we have around ourselves stronger and taller.

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Tris

Alternator · Posted: Sat May 22, 2004 1:55 am Post subject:

Social Anxiety Disorder isnt inherited. But sensitivity and anxiety tends to run in families. Using my case as an example: my parents are the two most outgoing people in the world, and my sisters are aslo very social people. At first that sounded strange to me, but then i found out "anxiety" runs on my mother's family, and a lot of my cousins are introverted.

Tris, it looks like you have the cause of your sad fugred out.
And it looks like you're on the right track. Letting go of all of this will help you overcome. Focus on the present, on making your life better. The past is over, so forget about it. Blaming people wont be helpful at all.

Sometimes, I catch myself hating my middle school classmates for 'brainwashing' this disroder into me, but then I realize it doesnt do me any good.

So good luck to you on the road to recovery!

ann · Posted: Tue May 25, 2004 1:05 am Post subject:

I think SA is genetic in my case. My mother has it, I have it, and my daughter has it. My husband also got diagnosed recently (a surprise because out of the our little family he seemed pretty social) by a Dr. with it. So my daughter got quite a whammy--she's been diagnosed recently with severe SA. My other child totally escaped and is "normal" and doing OK. I think envrionment reinforces it--at least in my case and perhaps my daughter's since we don't really socialize much. I can't remember being any other way. But perhaps if yours is mostly environmental and situational there's a lot of hope for you. I hope you will overcome this; you're still young enough to do something about it.

ann

Orlando · Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2004 3:37 am Post subject:

Hi, everyone!

Here are some things that I think had a hand in causing my SP:
1) I am the youngest of five children. I was often bullied by my older siblings.
2) My father was away most of the time. He was in the Navy, so he was out to see. My mother worked as a nurse so when she came home from work she only had enough energy to help my brothers and sisters with their homework. She did not have enough time for me.
3) Since my father was away, I really did not have any male role model. All the other kids in my neighborhood understood and regularly played sports. I did not understand the rules (They always seemed to change on me.) So I got bullied by them too.
4) Growing up, I got a really screwed up perception of religion. It was really bad. Like fire-and-brimstone....If you got on God's bad side, He would strike you down. Very sad. Also, I had this belief that sex was evil and bad. In high school, I felt that my sexual feelings should be repressed and hidden.
5) In grade school and high school, I was bullied by various people (male and female classmates.) I didn't have the confidence to say F#you so I just believed everything that they said. Usually, I just assumed that they were saying, "You're an idiot. You're beneath me. Shut up and do as I say."

I'm not sure if this is similar to your experience. I hope this is more grist-for-the-mill. Nice bouncing ideas off you. Very Happy

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-Orl

Guest · Posted: Wed Jun 02, 2004 1:08 am Post subject:

Possibly heridity, but also having a very insecure childhood, no encouragement, reassurance, no acknowledgement or praise for any achievements, but constant belittlement for mistakes. Feeling like a neccessity instead of a blessing. Sad

Noise_Terrorist · Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 11:48 pm Post subject:

My SP stems from 3 factors which I have identified:

1. I'm an only child, and my parents overprotected me when I was young. I had almost no independance.

2. I was born 2 months before my younger cousin, and when I was young, we used to spend a lot of time together. However, relatives compared us and they alwyas complimented my cousin against me, "oh, look at how tall/handsome he is!". This left me feeling inadequate.

3. Verbal abuse during teenage years. I had a large mole on my nose (I had it removed last year), that people made harsh remarks about.

The third point is the major one, that ripped my confidence to shreds.

Ladystardust · Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2004 11:31 am Post subject:

There are a number of things that have contributed to my sp

1 My mother rejected me as she wanted a boy and I was a girl

2 my sisters picked up on the way my mother was with me they would either tease me or like my mother ignore me or leave on my own.

3 My first day at nusery was very tramatic I was 4yrs old and up to that point I had not mixed with any children my age. I was terrified by how noisy they were.

4 My parents believed children should be seen and not heard

5 my parents were not very social people I was not taught the social graces

6 People thought I was shy and would grow out of it

7 as a child I spent a lot of time on my own I found it very difficult to make friends I still do
There are other reasons too many to go into

Regal70 · Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2004 7:37 pm Post subject:

I think in my case both heredity and environment played a role. I was always sensitive as a child, so greater sensitivity makes one more prone to SP. Also, neither of my parents were particularly sociable, so I didn't have anyone to learn social skills from by example. My father almost never talks, except when drinking alcohol, and from what I can remember, most of those communications were in a negative light. My mother talked ALOT with the immediate family, but still had some SP in regard to strangers, authority figures, etc. I've heard that SP comes from having negative thoughts repeatedly reinforced into your brain. I think this is true, but some people (who are more sensitive) are more prone to it also because of genetics. And I do have negative thoughts, but I have been trying to work them away as best I can. I've always had the feeling in the past, no matter what I do, that I'm still "no good" and others will think I am "no good". The truth is I have alot, more then many people, but the feelings keep coming nevertheless (they need to stop coming for good!!)