Social Anxiety???

trapt · Guest

I am pretty sure I have social anxiety but just want other people's opinions as well. I mean I know there must be something wrong with me and that probably is a big sign. Ever since I was younger I had problems keeping eye contact with people. I don't know if out of shyness or not being able to pay attention like? All I know anyways this has gotten better as I worked on it and can keep pretty good eye contact with people but alot of times seem easily distracted. Anyhow thats not my real problem but maybe a symptom. When I was 19 I had a pretty traumatic experience when I was shot. I guess I didn't realize it at the time but it really affected me emotionally. I think a main part of why it was so detrimental to me was because i acted like it was nothing and didnt come to terms really with it. Alot of times I try not to really think about it too much again because I fear it will be as bad for me as it was when it happened. (The incident replayed and replayed in my head for weeks, months after) But I think eventually I pretty much came to terms with what happened, but still try not to think too long on remembering. Anyways, even before this incident I wasn't too great at making new friends, or talking to people I didn't know. But after this event I think it really turned me anti-social against people in general. I don't know if it is anti-social or social- anxiety but I assume they are pretty much the same thing. Anyhow I DEFINITALY do not like talking to new people/people I don't know. Its like I get this fear that I feel in my gut kinda... not just emotionally. I mean even knowing that when I force myself to talk to people it doesn't end up being bad at all, I still have this fear all the time. Its like I can't get over it, build the confidence, to feel better about talking to new people. It affects me all the time. At work, parties, stores. And even worse I defenitely know about my fear and thinking about it makes it worse. I don't like to even talk on the phone to people. I find myself going through an imaginary conversation before hand just so I can kind of "troubleshoot" any kind of conversation "problems" I might have. Then i finally force myself to call and its not so bad at all. I mean for the most part I pretty much get over these fears by forcing myself "most" of the time, but why then the fear is just as bad next time. I mean shouldn't my fear be diminishing, .. confidence greater? I find myself avoiding eye contact with people at work and hoping they dont talk to me, even though I know they are pretty nice people. In turn I feel they know I am avoiding them and always feel people are talking about me. This makes me feel worse and makes me want to avoid them more. It tears me up in side. I try to fake smile and ignore these feelings, but inside my mind is just constantly thinking these fearful thoughts. Every day seems kind of like a personal hell to me.I can't communicate well with people, I can't make new friends, its pretty much impossible to meet women. I mean generally I am fine and can speak well and have fun with people I allready know, its just people I don't know and when Im in larger groups, bars, work ... where I know there are more than a few people around that I have the most anxiety. I always feel everyoine is looking at me, or talking about me. And, like I said then I just dwell on it until it almost becomes unbearable and I feel very insecure. Is my experience very similar to anyone elses on this board? I am sure it is. If so what have you been diagnosed with.? I really feel I should go see a doctor but ontop of everthing I am really financially stressed right now and can't afford to miss work. I have found a site that will give me an online consultation for Paxil, but don't want to take it (waste my money) if its not social anxiety. Also I don't want to go to the doctor because, although it would be a DOCTOR, I am fearful of talking to someone I don't know about this.

Ice · Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004 2:15 pm Post subject: Re: Social Anxiety???

Hi Trapt

I'm sorry about that shooting thing. Did you see a psychologist after (you should)?

The imaginary conversation yes. I had to plan every sentence I say. For example when I want to ask people where the bathroom is. I have to practice that in my head until it's perfect.

I think you do have SA but, I am NOT a doctor. So you better see your doctor. Very Happy

Good luck!

richkid · Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2004 3:26 pm Post subject:

I think if your finding it diffcult to talk to people it may just be an onset of the shooting, you may have post tramatic stress which has meant you get very anxious for no apparent reason, in turn may have develope a new fear of talking to people. I no doctor but one stressful event can transfer onto another.

The role playing in your head is common, you play a situation in your head over and over to make sure you say it right, it sounds write and you look ok. This is being overly self concious.

The best adivice is going to see someone that knows what they are talking about, being diagnosed with SAD doesn't mean your insane it just means you have a chance to change the way you think.

Keep reading the posts not only the recent ones but early ones and try put in perspective how you feel in relation to others.