Joined: May 09, 2005 Posts: 1409 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2005 6:45 am Post subject: Re: catch 22 of socialphobia
lonesomeboy wrote:
i keep on thinking about SP and how it works. for me my main problem is that i feel so goddam embarassed about myself and my life, that it prevents me making friends and getting a life in the first place, which would cure my SP. if that makes any sense. its like a catch 22 of SA.
So you're too shy to make friends, which makes you feel as if you have nothing of worth to say to people, so you find it even harder to make friends because you have none to start with?
Seize the moment. You don't need friends to make them. You just need that weird thing called confidence everyone keeps talking about (link - try this). I know it must be difficult talking to people and not being able to mention friends, but you could talk about your hobbies and go from there.
All the best!
Last edited by black_mamba on Fri Aug 19, 2005 6:50 am; edited 2 times in total
I didn't receive yours either - did you just click on the address that i wrote-cause that's what i did and that microsoft emailing thing came up. Perhaps we have to do it manually - go to our actual email address sites and do it the old fashioned way. Good grief, back in my day redskins were only 5c.
No actually i take that back i checked again and i did receive it - thankyou.
I sent you an email from my yahoo address so you should get this one - well it said that it sent it to you, so all is well.
Joined: Aug 16, 2005 Posts: 137 Location: Australia
Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2005 6:11 am Post subject:
i just thought of something els that bugs me.
like on some days i can actually be very socialable and outgoing, depending on the situation and how i feel. but next day i go back to my old self because i feel embarrassed when other ppl think why i've changed all of a sudden.
gotta stop worrying what other ppl think of me goddamit!!
Joined: May 19, 2006 Posts: 35 Location: Australia
Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 1:21 pm Post subject:
Hi there, i'm new to this forum. I thought i'd just resurrect an old post because it brings up an important dilemma.
lonesomeboy wrote:
i keep on thinking about SP and how it works. for me my main problem is that i feel so goddam embarassed about myself and my life, that it prevents me making friends and getting a life in the first place, which would cure my SP. if that makes any sense. its like a catch 22 of SA.
Yes, I know exactly how you feel because i feel the same way. I need confidence to feel better about my life but to feel better about my life (which would involve making new friends, voicing my opinions openly and so on) i need confidence. I need one or the other but cant seem to do one without both.
lonesomeboy wrote:
i would be having a great conversation, but it can never be personal about myself or my life, because 1) i have no life 2) i have no friends. thus it prevents me getting close to anyone.
Same here. I've thought about this long and hard and it seems that at some point i will just have to take the plunge and admit to other people that i have a very stunted life and a very serious problem. Sure, it will be AWFUL at first when telling others but i think one of the worst things about this disorder for me comes from the loneliness of feeling like i'm dealing with it myself and the terror that accompanies others finding out about the disorder and my embassisingly uneventful life.
So then what if I and others on this forum like lonesomeboy were to tell people about all of our problems? (other than psychologists) At the moment i can't imagine plucking up the courage to do it, but with a little more self confidence, or instead feeling that i've hit a new low and must do something, anything maybe i would. Seriously, if you met people you get on well with and enjoy their company, as they enjoy yours would they suddenly abandon you after mentioning this? I doubt it.
Here are some points i've put together that i plan to use when telling people. For a start i would try and not be too self pitying when first mentioning this. I would use gallows humour - acknowledging the seriousness of the situation and making light of it in a wry 'what can you do?' sort of way (which i sometimes do anyway, well, when i schedule time for it in between my bouts of depression anyway lol. See - there it is!). I would also try to be hopeful about my future (which i genuinely am) so that i don't kill the mood with overly depressed rants.
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
85 guests
21 members
Forum FAQ
Search
Profile
Private messages
Log in
