dealing with Phone pobias.

AsPerIn · Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2005 12:35 am Post subject: dealing with Phone pobias.

How does one deal with a relative who will not pick up the phone? This person suffers from intense fear whenever the phone rings. I tried to offer my support in her ordeal but I have fallen on hard times and am looking for work. So when I’m not available to answer the call, obviously it goes unanswered. Opportunities become compromised or lost. She turns the ringer off even when other people are there to pick it up. And if the call is for her she will throw herself into a crazed fit, even if it’s a simple survey. It’s always “WHY, WHY, WHY, DID YOU HAVE TO PICK UP THE PHONE”, which is followed by a steady stream of tears. She will lock herself in the bathroom even while the person is waiting on the line. Any ideas on how I can get her the help she needs? And no I don’t have a cell phone, if I had one this issue wouldn’t be so exacerbated. I care for her but I have a limited supply of will power. She fears everything especially people, like there all flesh eating vampires. She has had social problems for long time but she seems to develop new phobias as time goes on. Sp runs deep in my family.

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Boundless · Expert User Joined: Aug 20, 2005 Posts: 615 Location: UK

Yes please someone answer this,im afraid to answer the phone also and cant even answer the door i just pretend know 1s in,when ever the phone rings and im alone i just let it ring out,its almost as bad as going out into social situations,the ringing phone makes me anxious and when every my mother brings me the phone its worse Neutral

flatu · Newbie User Joined: Sep 14, 2005 Posts: 1

Hey this is flatu, I'm female by the way and my friend used to have a phobia of answering the phone. Maybe not as bad as either of you and I got her to gradually answer the phone and ring ppl. I also have a phobia of ringing ppl, I'm fine answering the phone but find ringing organizations or strangers very frightening.

4myself · Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2005 5:50 am Post subject:

Hmm, AsPerIn, let me think Confused

, this has to be frustrating because of missed work oppurtunities and I think you are to be commended on your willingness to help your relative!. Maybe getting an answering machine or activating voice mail will help you with your calls, or buying/borrowing a mobile phone or enlisting the help of an understanding friend or relative to take the employment related calls for you (give the agencies their number and have them take a mesage).
As for your relative the first question is does she want to overcome this fear?. As the old saying goes you can lead a horse to the water.... . I suggest find that out first and then check back in here and we can take it from there.

ColdAsIce · Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2005 11:07 am Post subject:

I find answering the phone and ringing companies and speaking to strangers v daunting too, I usually try to say too much at once and it comes out all wrong, and I stammer on the phone too which really embarrasses me even though I can't be seen.... Embarassed

The only advice I can give is the more she pushes herself to answer the phone and phone others the less daunting it seems, eventually it becomes easier and less daunting.

AsPerIn · Posted: Wed Sep 14, 2005 8:12 pm Post subject:

In response to 4myself. I do have an answering machine but she frequently erases messages, it’s kind of alright because she confesses. As I said I’m trying to help her. I mean I suffer from sp also but I just try to fight it more. In terms of a cell phone, I used to work in that industry so the unit itself is available but the line is too costly to justify purchasing. I feel like I’m really stuck here, I mean were not the most social people in the world. I have managed to alienate myself from the majority of my friends and family (bunch of vipers, anyway). Oh, yes I asked and she agrees she has a problem but her response was more cavalier then I expected. Anyone know of a dial for psychiatry number or something. She’s now telling me that she feels bouts of agoraphobia. Does anyone think she might be trying to wind me up, or was that just a crude smokescreen? I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t believe her answers to be accurate, in my opinion she is happy as a clam in her current situation. She couldn’t less the effect it has on me and who ever else is left to deal with her. You can lead the horse to water but has anyone ever tried to throw some in its face. Some people are not motivated she is one of them, the situation will have to be blown out of control before she sees that there is a problem.

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4myself · Posted: Thu Sep 15, 2005 5:44 am Post subject:

Blimey, this sounds like it may be getting out of control already, why does she erase your messages?. Maybe you need to decide if you want to put in the hard yards of trying to help her when she doesn't appear to want the help. Also I didn't realise you had sp as well, congratulations on making an effort to get a job, that can be really daunting!.