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Social Phobia World :: View topic - Are you assertive?
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Are you assertive?
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4myself
Advanced User
Advanced User


Joined: Aug 21, 2005
Posts: 418
Location: Australia

PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 2:34 am    Post subject: Are you assertive? Reply with quote

I am just about to jump off this forum and go and look up some info about assertiveness. I am wondering if anyone thinks they are assertive or passive or agressive?. I am passive aggressive, but I would love to be assertive.

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young
Expert User
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Joined: Sep 23, 2005
Posts: 602

PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 2:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

jumping off this forum could get you hurt. Just walk away, or skip, but keep the jumping to a minimum. Cool

As for me i'm assertive when it's something i want. Though I have been known to let people walk all over me. I'm working on that. Mainly i try and please everyone, while leaving myself last.

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lawyerguy
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Intermediate User


Joined: Feb 22, 2005
Posts: 110
Location: United States of America

PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 8:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm a passive person in general but I can be assertive when I have to be. Obviously for my job I have to be assertive. I'm more comfortable being assertive for other people than for myself.

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maggie
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Joined: Mar 19, 2005
Posts: 1173
Location: Canada

PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 6:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i am very passive..esp. at work....and it's frustrating, cause even if i have a valid point or argument..i usually keep it to myself....and then i brood about it later...pissed off about the way things turned out Evil or Very Mad

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magda74
Intermediate User
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Joined: Sep 25, 2005
Posts: 129

PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 8:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="maggie"]i am very passive..esp. at work....and it's frustrating, cause even if i have a valid point or argument..i usually keep it to myself....and then i brood about it later...pissed off about the way things turned out Evil or Very Mad

Really relate to that. Definitely passive-aggressive. I have a really hard time being able to defend my viewpoint. I find some people really take advantage when they figure that out about me and talk right over me or do something totally dismissive. And what do i do? Replay it over and over in my head till my ears are steaming. Then avoid that person for awhile.('Rolling Eyes')

I've really got to work on that.


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maggie
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Joined: Mar 19, 2005
Posts: 1173
Location: Canada

PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 9:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hey magda74...i know just what you mean about replaying it over and over in your head Mad ..i do the same thing....so, not only does it make me feel like a total idiot at the time, but later i obsess about it and always imagine the way i should have dealt with situation.. Rolling Eyes

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magda74
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Joined: Sep 25, 2005
Posts: 129

PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 10:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hi Maggie, (just realized you're a fellow Canuck)

yeah, i obsess too, like thinking in a loop. not even sure if i avoid the person later becuz i'm mad or just really embarrassed.

by the way, that picture makes me laugh everytime. am i seeing that right, is that a carved apple helmet on a cat? ur cat?
sooo cute


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magda74
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Joined: Sep 25, 2005
Posts: 129

PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 10:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

('Laughing') i just can't stand rude mushy avocadoes. good for dips though!

glad to hear you found the balance, i'm working on that. really i think it's unfair to other people as well if u don't let them know where you're coming from. gotta luv that 20/20 vision.


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elProscrito
Newbie User
Newbie User


Joined: Aug 22, 2005
Posts: 43

PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 10:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

McShy wrote:
I used to be terribly non-assertive and bottled things up till the dam would break and I'd take someones hed off in a fury.


I'm like that too. i let peopl walk over me, i don't protest till at some point i realize that i was totally screwed over. than i get angry and agressive.
but i'm constantly working on being calm and assertive. hopefully i'll be like that someday

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ColdAsIce
Newbie User
Newbie User


Joined: Feb 03, 2005
Posts: 87
Location: United Kingdom

PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 10:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not at all.... Crying or Very sad

I've always been a door mat.... Embarassed

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