Where'd all our confidence go?

Skyla · Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2005 10:51 pm Post subject: Where'd all our confidence go?

alot of people in here have a story. i just wanna know what is it dat makes us think so low of ourselves? i was bullied very lightly when i was 8 (literally one minute i was joking wid da guy, da next, crying coz he hit me). eventually my mum had to come in, and now i think its because he fancied me.
anyways, in primary skool, i was happy. i liked going to skool. i lived round an area wid lots of kids all sorts of ages and generally enjoyed my childhood. my home life is good. i live with both parents (altho i dont have a brilliant relationship with my parents - i have some kind of closeness to my mum n bro tho.) and my bro. in secondary skool i wasnt bullied. i wasnt da popular one, but then i wasnt da "geeky" one either. sec skool is where it all started for me. i never had a boyfriend or had boy interest and everyone knew dat. but i was never seen as a freak or anything. one "popular" girl teased me one time, but dats about it. regardless i still felt pathetic, sad and all da other stuff we all feel on here. anyways, im just bascially thinking what is it in my life dat has made me like this? why do i have such low confidence dat i feel like all i can do is offer a man sex? why do i feel im uninteresting etc??

basically, i wanted to know what you lot think my have "caused" your SA. or just anything that may have contributed to it. coz i dont bloody know Rolling Eyes

black_mamba · Posted: Sat Oct 08, 2005 11:15 pm Post subject:

I always say it, and it make little sense, but I don't think anything caused my social problems. Just me and my little brain.

Anyway! You're in London? That god for that. I was getting worried back there, you see this forum is full of members from all over the world, yet only me from one of the most populated bits. Shocked

Yay.

Lost_Nomad · Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 12:11 am Post subject:

Let me check, damn!!! well what yah know i've lost it. must of lost it with my lunch on the trip home. anyone willing to sell me some confidence. hehe Very Happy

Sorry about the jokes. i had a hard time when i was a kid, i dont think its the bad experience, its the fact that we put ourselves down that kills the confidence. or i really did loose it with my lunch. Very Happy

redlady · Elite User Joined: Jul 08, 2005 Posts: 1958

Basically it is this - if you are told you are shit enough times you believe it - it's fucked up how that works Evil or Very Mad

Angie_05 · Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 9:50 pm Post subject:

I have an idea where my GAD came from, but I have no idea why I developed SA. In elementary school I was friends with all the girls. Then as I got older it got harder and harder for me to feel included. By middle school I remember looking at some of the other girls on the first day and thinking, "they are so pretty, well-dressed, and confident. there is no way they will accept me".

Lost_Nomad · Posted: Sun Oct 09, 2005 11:08 pm Post subject:

redlady wrote

4myself · Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 4:03 am Post subject:

I just realised today that because I have been used by a lot of people, that I have come to not trust my own judgement about people, so I am always just waiting for them to betray me or do something messed up to me.

blubs · Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 10:43 am Post subject:

I have never had any confidence. I think its something that is instilled in you at a young age by your family. My mum struggled a lot and I think, looking back, she suffered from depression and our home wasn't a very loving environment. I was the youngest and my elder sister was (like a lot of young kids) jealous when I was born...she bullied me from being a baby. It wasn't really her fault, it was my mums job to make sure her children treated each other properly...but she didn't. By the time I started nursey at 3 I was already used to being victimised...and I never learned to stand up for myself.

sensitive · Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 11:05 am Post subject:

I am not sure about the reasons of my case. when i was 9 we immigrate from my country Somalia to Kuwait. i had difficult time because i didn't know the language that time, and kids were mean with me Confused

so that could be a reason, i mean adjusting with new situation that time.

another reason, unlike other mothers my mom has been always a tough mom, she is not emotional at all Confused

so i never felt secured or happy. however, non of my siblings have SP/SA so that couldn't a reason.

i remember when i was in my country before 1994, i was a tough kid, i never felt afraid or coward so i guess moving from there has had huge affect.

angiepangie · Newbie User Joined: Oct 04, 2005 Posts: 17

my shyness came from primary school ,The kids were horrid as i am half latina and darker than everyone else! They would bully me and i always remember sitting on the bench in the playground and the teacher blew her whistle and shouted will anyone play with angela.I was mortified as i didnt want to play with them anyway.I was bad at maths too and used to dread when the teacher would pull me up on something as it went in one ear and out the other.When i started secondry school things changed i had guys fancy me and lots of friends.Went out with the popular guys things were great... then hit 20 and had my first serious relationship.He introduced me to drugs like e we went clubbin in brum and i had the time of my life, i was a full time lifeguard and part time swim teacdher and happi.Decided to go to south america to learn spanish.Stayed with distant family and they were very strict and wernt keen on me goin out as strong cathlic... Went to my cousin grad party and smoked some south american skunk! next day i had terrible sa while eatin with her family.Thats how mine started My boyfriend left me and i bin single 2 yrs.When people say wheres your boyfriend i just make a joke like no time for one of those! Guys i do worry as im 25 and wan2 travel but i would like kids and the life my friends have.Hope to meet someone that is very understanding and lovely but in my town its clicky and everyone knows everyone........so any offers guys!!