Hi Flynt, so how was your lecture today man? I'm sure it went fine, cause nothing is ever as bad as our mind's would have us believe - the lying little tricksters that they are.
A firespinner with piercings and dreadlocks - wow you sound fantastic - the first thought that entered my head when i read that was John Butler.
Sometimes i do the high pitched voice thing and i end up sounding overly sugary sweet - i describe it as a hyped up canary and it makes me sound 7 yrs old - which i find incredibly embarassing.
I alienate myself on more than one level as well and sometimes only after the fact do i realise that i am doing it - i perplex myself, as do we all.
There's that sneaky little mind again doing it's work.
Okay well i really hope your first lecture was a positive experience - instilling in you a sense of excitement to attend your next one ( as if he says ) Seeya. Oh and welcome to the site.
Hey Flynt - it seems the MM machine is on the blink again - i have responded to your MM's just had to let you know - perhaps in, oh um mmm 2 or so days you may just get them Oh dear, why can't things just work ???
Joined: Apr 11, 2005 Posts: 28 Location: Australia
Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 7:58 am Post subject:
heh. MM's are CRAZY
alas, poor lectures, I had to abandon them
I made it to four! thats a record! But health stuff and work stuff got in the way. The lecturer is uber cool tho, (we like him bunches) he said I can take the course again next year for freeeeeeeee
woo!
So i might just do that.
In the meantime, I went to my first camping festival last weekend. I didnt have a single panic attack, and I am so damn proud of myself. I took my journal and my writing bookk and a sketch book, and I took time out when I needed it, and went for walks in the bush, and ultimately, I had a great time.
I feel like I"m finally on the road to recovery from this insidious disease, that one day I'm goign to be able to show up at a colleague or friends birthday party or barbeque and not totally die of fear...
*sigh*
just taking it one day at a time, but im definately marking this as a notch on the "YAY!" side of life.
*hugssssssssss* to alL! xoxox
_________________ Flynt (to friend) : Yes, that makes it much easier for me to molest you...
Flynt: ahem...
Flynt: I mean, Snuggle you...
Sorry to hear about your lectures - 'silverlining', what a cool lecturer though - ah, the best things in life are free.
That camping festival sounded great - glad you could enjoy it - i have never had a panic attack but i am sure they are a right old mood buster - understatement right.
Soon i will join you on that road and clock up some of those notches myself You sound like you are doing just fine - very happy to hear it.
Joined: Apr 11, 2005 Posts: 28 Location: Australia
Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 8:53 pm Post subject:
ARRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
*bangs head on wall*
I'm lying in bed this morning, argueing with myself about going to Thai Chi for the first time... Really wanted to go, start feeling ill at the thought of it...
make up my mind to go, leap out of bed!>.... and it starts pouring with rain.
So now I'm up early, feeling like I'm goign to throw up because I'm still so damn nervous, and I have no thai chi to go to.
goddamn!
_________________ Flynt (to friend) : Yes, that makes it much easier for me to molest you...
Flynt: ahem...
Flynt: I mean, Snuggle you...
AAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHHHH!!! you got that right - To win the battle only to be stopped in the end anyway - to gain control only to have it taken from you - beyond frustrating, no wonder you feel sick.
Don't bang your head too hard - you got your tai chi class next week
Joined: Oct 14, 2005 Posts: 22 Location: Australia
Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 2:28 am Post subject:
I just found this site.....I am sooo happy I've found people like me.
I never assumed I was alone feeling like this but I just never knew where to find you all.
_________________ amor vincit omnia - love conquers all
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Oh and welcome to the site.
Oh dear, why can't things just work ???
You sound like you are doing just fine - very happy to hear it.