Joined: Oct 24, 2005 Posts: 115 Location: New Zealand
Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2005 5:37 am Post subject:
Nytro wrote:
If you want to feel like your husband, the biggest secrect to be a good conversationalist is listen.
People say that, and I remember reading it in "How To Win Friends and Influence People", but I don't know that that's the key.
Although people do like to talk about themselves, if you don't reciprocate by telling them about yourself as well then I think they'll get bored eventually. The most popular people I've seen are those that can entertain others, either by telling interesting stories or being witty etc.
But I think the key is balance, equal parts good listener and talker. Unfortunately I fail miserably on the second part
I know exactly what you mean and it makes me feel so worthless that i cant come up with interesting or witty things to say. I think it is the main cause of my social phobia now because i fear conversation and now i find it difficult to even look people in the eye at all.
I am very detatched if i could make people interested maybe i could get more confidence but every time i say something i feel silly and stupid.
cool avatar, idunnoimnotcreativ from Super Mario 2 right? Heh, I could never beat that game but mario 3 was cake.
Why thank you...its called a Shy Guy thats why i chose it
lol, for me Mario 2 was a piece of cake, Mario 3 was damn hard though.
Thanks for sharing those links harvey. I've done a bit of research myself into the small talk matter and found similar info, but the problem with me is its soo hard to put those tips into practise. Like when I get into a conversation, those tips arent exactly the first things that come to mind. If you've had success I'd like to hear your advice on how you did it.
I can be witty and i have a good sense of fun - but my problem is having people around me misinterpret me - or just not get me. It upsets me to be made responsible for something that i am not - like having something i say be interpreted with a nasty meaning. It also frustrates me when people don't get me - i mean how much fucking effort does it take - so therefore my paranoia jacks up and i start to think that they are doing it on purpose to make me look like an idiot. It's just too much crap to deal with so most of the time i just keep my mouth shut. I long for the day that i dare to open my mouth to someone and let lose my wit and humour and they reciprocate in an equally silly way.
Joined: Dec 05, 2005 Posts: 113 Location: Singapore
Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2005 7:35 am Post subject:
yeah it's true i always find myself in a situation similar to yours..
it's hard to communicate when there's really nothing to talk about.. and that will be the time i wanna run from people and just keep to myself somewhere around the corner.. i'll feel uncomfortable seating there being in the middle of the crowd , mute.. i wish that someday the outgoing, witty part in me will surface .. somehow
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