Joined: Feb 11, 2004 Posts: 35 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Sun Jun 20, 2004 11:47 am Post subject: Re: never say never
spacecadet wrote:
Its hard to tell who you'd date you have to meet all kinds and sometimes you may be suprised by the type you go for. I'm very choosey anyway myself but I would go out with some one who I clicked with SA or no SA. I think its true you can't help who you fall for
I agree completely, I have been choosey all my life , my last GF had SA but it was not a good relationship, as our joint SA made us more agorophobic, not that that would apply to every SA relationship, I know a few that have worked really well.
Joined: Jun 14, 2004 Posts: 15 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Wed Jun 23, 2004 11:57 am Post subject:
While I can understand that some would want to date others with sp only I do not think that for myself is a good idea. This is because depending on how strong the sp some people would find it difficult to venture into the outside world at all. I know that in order to get over sp I have to get out there no matter how frightend I feel. So I think in my situation It would be better for me to be with someone who does not have sp. This is not to say I would not befriend someone with sp or even try to help them do what I am attempting to do. I just feel to surround myself with sp people only would make things worse for me.
I've been writing emails to someone I met on the internet for four years, and concluded recently that we both had social phobia, and we didnt know because weve never met. I was recently diagnosed with social phobia and placed on Paxil. i've had it my whoel life but could never describe it until recently, now that I'm already 25 years old and have suffered the disorder my whole life. I personally would like to meet my friend, but this hard to do.
have had this problem all my life and I am losing hope at ever having a normal relationship. I am 30 now, and I have made improvements + I am on paxil which helps to an extent, but still don't have the courage to approach a woman, and let's face it females are conditioned by society and maybe partially biologically predispositioned to want to be approached first. All my ex's have met me through other friends or aquaintances. At this point in my life I have attempted to make friends with females in hopes of having good friends and maybe developing romanitic relationships. If romance doesn't develope then that's fine, because at least I would have a good friend, but, it's like a broken record, most girls that I approach think I am a complete wierdo (shy men are creepy- as labeled by movies like one hour photo, and shy girls are demur, cute, and can be brought out of it) because of the blushing and difficulty speaking, especially in public. It's a broken record, women want an assertive and confident man. I think the thing that keeps me from completely giving up on life is the hope of accomplished in the acedemic field and later in my career (which has been hard enough as it is).
Joined: Oct 23, 2004 Posts: 3 Location: United States of America
Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2004 12:19 am Post subject:
I haven't had a lot of experience with relationships (shocking, I know ), but I don't think I would care either way. I would just want someone who is understanding about it. Someone above said it, I wouldn't want to feel pressured to stop being shy "right now." If that makes any sense.
I wonder if dating someone with SA would give you more strength to beat your own SA because sometimes if someone really needs your help , you can put your weakness aside for long enough to help them. Does that make sense? Maybe that's just me wanting to help people ?
Joined: Jan 07, 2005 Posts: 57 Location: Australia
Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2005 10:14 pm Post subject:
Yea. It wouldn't really bother me. i would date the person with or with out SA as long as they were understanding of how i am and liked me for well me. thats good enough for me
Joined: Jan 02, 2005 Posts: 461 Location: Australia
Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 10:59 am Post subject:
I've had plenty of relationships all of which were with people who did not have SP. While I had some special times in those relationships, I think that I would much prefer to date someone else with the problem because I don't think that non SP's really know what it is like no matter how much you try to explain and being with someone who also has SP would certainly make planning activities a lot easier (because you would both feel the same about life's situations).
For me it doesn't really matter. Actually I've never dated anyone with social anxiety before, but the guy I like/am sort of going out with now is really shy and I kinda like that about him...I'm so used to going out with guys who are talkative and outgoing, which is the opposite of me, so it's nice to have found someone who has quite a bit in common with me.
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), but I don't think I would care either way. I would just want someone who is understanding about it. Someone above said it, I wouldn't want to feel pressured to stop being shy "right now." If that makes any sense.
