Posted: Tue Sep 28, 2004 1:56 pm Post subject: so disheartened....
Oh how this becomes complicated to get a job when you have a disease that no one else will ever understand and this is the very reason I hide it too. Maybe if normal life were to disappear I would have a chance. If my mother worked then I would have some time alone to make that dreaded phone call with the confidence that no one else will hear. Even if she pops out in the garden I cannot relax because I cannot complete the phone call in my own time.
Can’t use the phone, making the first barrier to find work. Looking for my first job. Nothing I can do except ring them myself but can’t seem to help myself. Been seeking a job for months...
How long have some of you been out of work?? I'll probably feel worse whether it’s a short period or a long one but anyway please share with me.
I have been to 2 jobs interviews, got both jobs and lasted one whole day...lmao. I havent tried since, that was about 5 years ago. I've decided to study from home for a while instead, then hopefully attempt to get my dream job.
Have you tried writing down the stuff you want to say on the phone before you actually phone them?.
i have tried writing it down, thanks all the same! i still cant dial the number. i end up practicing it, it would be so obvious i was reading, but still if i could just do it. i rang an answer phone once, to leave my address for them to send an application pack, but when i went to speak, nothing came out. i was so annoyed with myself. how can nothing come out ? can anyone explain why that happens?? im at the point of giving up trying, i know the phone call wont be successful, i hate the thought of having to ring again another day for something else.
ive applied for jobs that you can do by email, only been semi-successful to one. had an interview but i hardly said anything and they didnt want me. i never know what to say, let alone when you have to impress someone.
(congratulations for getting the jobs, even if you only went for a day )
my family think i am lazy and dont want to work, but i do. i just wish someone would give me a chance, then again i would never employ myself if i was the interviewer. im scared to get a job but it would be better than being judged by my family.
Have you actually let your family know how you feel?. Its a hard thing to understand if you dont suffer from it but maybe if you tell your family, or even write it down, maybe show them this site they will have an insight of whats its like for you.
Please dont give up on the jobs. Before you phone, think of your good points, tell yourself your right for the job and hopefully if you get an interview tell them from the start your a little nervous and very shy. I know its hard for you but it would be just too easy to give up and I dont actually think your that sort of person. Comapnies have to take on disabled people and people with problems and SP comes under that rule.
I really wish you well and all the luck in the world that you find the strength to do all the things you want to do.
No, my family dont know how i feel atall. i dont wish to tell them about my fears. i think that would just make me more paranoid that they know etc...
i understand what you said about companies having to take on people with disorders, but i dont want others to know about it so i cannot really take this route. also, really, alot of companies want confident people. you would have to be really lucky if they thought your personality would be good for the job. then again i sure alot of people that come to this site do have jobs, so maybe it is possible but i just dont quite know how.
one of these days i will try the phone call again, i just hope one day i manage it. if and when i do get a job though, how am i ment to keep hold of it when it will require phone calls, most likely? oh well.... i just hope im lucky with one i applied to by email, one day.
Joined: Sep 30, 2004 Posts: 758 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2004 5:44 pm Post subject:
Hi disheartened.
I understand your situation completely. I'm 26 and have never worked in my life which drives me mad because I really want to do something with my life instead of just waiting to die. You've got to tell your family though about how you feel, after years of thinking I was just bone Idol my Mom kicked me out of home and I was homeless for years. It's hard I know but you might be pleasantly surprised and if you don't their negative thoughts about you will just make things harder.
P.S. Where I live theres a company called Arena which helps people with mental health problems get (back) into work. They've been really succsessful for a lot of people, I went once but was too scared to go back. You never know there might be something like that where you live. Goodluck with the e-mail applications !
P.P.S Lets start a campaign to ban phones - they're evil !
sorry you havent worked all your life. do you mind me asking how you have managed to get through all these years? it must have been so hard for you. have you given up applying to jobs?
telling my parents is something i really cannot consider. i know there attitude to 'mental' people and i dont want to destroy the family. i would either be told im stupid to think this or kind of rejected. they would look at me as some sort of freak, even though i often feel like i am. its strange though because my mum often says stuff like, why wont you go out, your mental, sometimes i feel like saying, yes, yes i am so just leave me alone.
thanks for your advice i might just see if there is something in my area, just to be curious. i couldnt admit it though and go there. you were brave to go once i looked at an application form the other day and it mentioned mental diasbilities etc. i was thinking if you actually ticked the box would somebody want you?? they would still be looking for confident people whether you had an anxiety disorder or not.
sorry, i know i seem negative towards your post but its just the way i feel. i cannot share my feelings with my family. thanks you for replying though, it means alot to me
Joined: Sep 30, 2004 Posts: 758 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2004 1:36 am Post subject:
Hey stranger don't worry about feeling negative. If we can't be honest with each other then who can we be honest with.
I know what it's like with the family, cos although I did tell my mum after many years she still doesn't understand. I think she comes from a generation which isn't comfortable with the idea of mental health because when she phones me (shudder) the first thing she asks is 'have you got a job?' which just makes me feel like crap because I know I'm a dissapointment to her. The thing is I know it's hard for her as well and even though I've talked about it before I can't talk to her again. Just the thought makes me feel sick and angry. It's strange I find it easier to talk to anyone but the one person I know who loves me.
Anyway you've got to find someone to talk to and help you. Referring to how I got by (lots of too long stories for any detail, plus it's 2 in the morning and I'm drunk) I was lucky to find various charities which helped young people with various problems. I wonder if there are any near you?
There should be if you're in the U.K. Basically they helped house me and get signed off work by the doctor so at least I'm secure. The problem is I've run out of time with them as I'm 26 and their age range is up until 25.
As to whether I'm still applying for work no. At the moment I've given up on everything. I've been alone for so long I can't see myself ever reintergrating. Guess that's why I wanted to reply to you because the longer it goes on the harder it is to conquer. I really hope you can sort something out.
Sorry if I've gone on too long but my neighbours are keeping me up with some God awful music. It's been nice chatting to you, take care, be strong and if theirs anything else just say.
i really appreciate what you write, thank you i still havent found and job . i know exactly what its like to constantly be asked have you found a job yet! it happens all the time. im so annoyed with myself for not getting a job and to keep asking about it just makes you feel worse and more depressed. i just wish i could turn up to somewhere like i did for school and not have to worry about this. it will be hard enough to get through the days anyway let alone days of waiting, worrying, applying, interviews, rejections etc.
i hope you manage to find a job too. if i cant give up neither can you keep going as much as you can. Good luck
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i still cant dial the number. i end up practicing it, it would be so obvious i was reading, but still if i could just do it. i rang an answer phone once, to leave my address for them to send an application pack, but when i went to speak, nothing came out. i was so annoyed with myself. how can nothing come out ? can anyone explain why that happens?? im at the point of giving up trying, i know the phone call wont be successful, i hate the thought of having to ring again another day for something else.
)
. i know exactly what its like to constantly be asked have you found a job yet! it happens all the time. im so annoyed with myself for not getting a job and to keep asking about it just makes you feel worse and more depressed. i just wish i could turn up to somewhere like i did for school and not have to worry about this. it will be hard enough to get through the days anyway let alone days of waiting, worrying, applying, interviews, rejections etc.