Negative thinking and depression

HappyDave · Guest

I just wanted to share some of my success with dealing with social phobia.

I have suffered from social phobia for as long as I can remember and have spent a great deal of time and effort trying to understand and overcome it. Up to quite recently my progress has not been too great until I came across some material on fighting negative thinking.

The literature was actually for helping people with depression but it has really helped me with my social phobia. I'm very good at beating myself up and used to believe that I was actually helping myself by doing this. For example if I felt that I messed up in a social situation I would analyse it for days, going over all the things I did wrong and hammering myself about it so that I would be better the next time.

The thing that really made a difference was realising how cruel I can be to myself and how my negative thinking is actually destroying me. The moment I realised this I felt the pit of my stomach relax and it felt great. I began to question these negative thoughts in terms of how they are not helping me but actually draining my self worth and causing me to become depressed.

The thing I find about depression for me is that the more depressed I am the more negative thoughts I have, which makes me more depressed, more negative thoughts and so on and so on.

I've never considdered depression to be a problem for me and always believed that I felt sad and lonely because of my social phobia. I never realised how closely related depression and social phobia were for me.

The action I am taking is to try and prevent the negative thoughts whenever possible and replace them with positive, feel good thoughts. To be honest it was not easy at first and took a lot of work to break out of the depressive cycle but over time it has become easier. Of course I still have my ups and downs but the more I work at it the more forward momentum I get towards recovery.

I know that this is probably not the answer for everyone with social phobia but just wanted to share what is working for me.

I'm interested to hear if anyone else has had a similar success.

HiApeNest · Guest

I've had similar experiences. I used to get mad at myself for every little thing, and my brain would just keep yelling at me about what I did wrong. Then, my psychologist told me that it was probably hurting me, so after trying for a few weeks, I completely stopped criticizing myself. I still feel embarrassed sometimes, but at least I don't get mad at myself for it. I know it's not my fault.

Guest · Posted: Wed Sep 15, 2004 9:46 am Post subject:

Hi Dave,

I've been doing the same thing as you but it hasn't been easy. I've been so cruel to myself for so many years that I became an expert at it. That's my specialty, the criticizer, not to others but to myself. One thing that's helping me is that I treat myself like a good friend. You wouldn't be so harsh to your friend would you? I would be understanding and give encouragement to a friend of a need so I do that to myself... and that makes me feel good. That's positive thinking!

I'm glad you posted this.

saebrylla · Guest

Hey im sort of new to this sight and agree with you, you really do need to get rid of your negative thinking and up untill reciently negative thinking had overtaken my life and i'm so glad that i'm finally learning not to take on negative thinking.

bluemoon · Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2004 11:22 pm Post subject:

thats my problem too. i am not only diagnosed with SA but i have really low self esteem and get depressed easily and often cuz i hate myself sooo much most of the times. the problem is, i cant stop thinking negatively

LilMissTragic · Expert User Joined: Sep 05, 2004 Posts: 803

I started taking my negative thoughs and swapping them for positive thoughts...Like 'Damn i'm ugly...I swapped that for, 'wow,dont i have great hair'....sounds mad but it works. when out and about I also imagine myself in a mirrored sphere, and any bad comments or looks i get bounce right off and back at the person doing it. Weirdly it makes me feel protected.

mystery · Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2004 6:58 pm Post subject:

Hi guys! Since we are on the topic of negative thinking, I just like to share with u this...

Watch Your Thoughts

Watch Your Thoughts.
They Become Words.

Watch your Words.
They Become Actions.

Watch Your Actions.
They Become Habits.

Watch Your Habits.
They Become Character.

Watch Your Character.
For It Becomes Your Destiny

_________________
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visit www.panda.org

ajj · Guest

hello friends,

yes negative thoughts r the root cause of all problems including social phobia.
i suggest ,
u shouldnt give much importance to ur mistakes ,as mistakes are made by everyone .

try to use ur idle time in a more creative fashion so that u dont get too much time for analysing ur faults.

bye

feeltherage · Posted: Sun Jul 16, 2006 12:43 am Post subject: yeah

Yeah, ajj has got a point but its not only negative thoughts. Along with negative thoughts, negative actions both made by the person suffering from social phobia or other disorders, and those committed against them, can play a big role.

I myself experienced a negative action committed against me (betrayal), only to go and do something negative to someone else (said something really mean and intentionally hurtful), both haunt me to this day. The betrayal really hurt me, causing all kinds of negative thinking including low self esteem. By saying what I did to one of my friends, I hurt myself and the friend, I will always regret what I said. These things are a big part of my problems.

Warlock · Intermediate User Joined: Jun 15, 2006 Posts: 104

I realized that too, that I was always putting myself down. It had become a habit, and I would do it without thinking all the time. I realized that and made an effort not to put myself down, so every time I did I told myself not to, and eventully I broke the cycle (I forgot how long it took).

The thing with depression is, when you're depressed, you sometimes can't control those thoughts. I can control them when I'm not having an episode, but if I am feeling depressed, the thoughts come and I can't control them that easily.

When I get embarrased I start thinking negative things about myself and lose the ability to control those thoughts. It always happens to me in social situations when I say or do the wrong thing (or what I think is the wrong thing).

I used to analyze things forever, but now I usually just go over them for a little bit and then hope everyone forgot what I said or did. I hate people who remind me of embarrasing moments in my past.