looking for attractive girl for very sexy guy we will cure

sofajudge

1 Looking for attractive girl for very sexy guy we will cure this irrational affliction together (or just try and make the most of it).

2 Looking to get to know people of either sex who have this SA or SP who are into self-development and learning and want to share some FUN experiences together.

let's go out and have fun and laugh at our stupid red faces, or whatever, together. Put the past behind us now.

Email me!

I am 28 and working, always learning and developing. I have found that although work is difficult it is much better than not working and does get easier. Always would be extremely happy to make new friends who have similar interesting SA SP problems who are interested in taking these things on. Or not as the case may be!

Need people to share this with.

Guest · Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2004 4:57 am Post subject:

Maybe you need to try a dating service??? And I dont think this is the right place...........People here seek advice and discussion, not a pickup line

sofajudge · Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2004 11:57 am Post subject: reply and explanation

If the general opinion is that I shouldn't post that message then I am happy for it to be removed or to remove it.

However, this thread is entitled 'Friendship, Love & Sex!’

I have had this at since 13 or 14. I have come out of a huge struggle going over several years, and while I still suffer, I am able to work in an interesting job. Many people in that position would then just try and forget the negative experiences or that side of their personality as if wasn’t there. I don't want to do that. People with SP interest me more than people who have none of these experiences!

I don’t want to feel I am hiding a part of myself. Also, since the problem is always there I feel that two people, who know they have the same issues, would be able to take on the world together. For myself, I am able to force myself through difficult experiences, so I know anyone I meet with…well we wouldn't end around just doing nothing.

If I use a dating service I would, as other posters have said, have to play that stupid role of charming alpha male, which I find unsatisfying as I would only want that to happen naturally. Most non SP people accept playing the role of being confident and charming as just something that they have to try their best at, essentially, in order to pull. For me I find that it really makes me feel irritated not to just be able be totally honest at the start without having to pretend. That makes any dating already feel like a chore.

I want to find someone with SP! Then the confidence and fun come naturally when it comes.

Would be interested to get your reaction to this….

sofajudge · Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2004 12:16 pm Post subject: more........

From my experience there have been some posts here that really are outstanding advice. Especially the advice about forcing yourself to work. What a nasty thought! Unfortunately it is the only way that really works. What a shame, as I particularly don’t like working or rather the social relationships side of it.

From my experience you can never get rid of SP, because to an extent it is part of the human experience. Therefore any advice may help in a fashion, but at the end of the day you will always have a thorn in your side. Therefore, it would nice to meet and be around people who have the same issues and take it on together. What chance would you have meeting this kind of people in ordinary life? Most people would do anything to push this sort of thing to recesses of their mind…therefore any discussion of the subject, much of the time, isn’t going to get a favourable reaction, unless you couch it in confident terms. Even then there a limit to what most people really want to think about. Essentially like SPs they don’t want to think about these negative things, but unfortunately SPs have no choice but to as their life is regularly or daily affected by the effects. To a lesser or catastrophic degree.

When someone talks about ‘so many eyes’ and you know what they are talking about that is a connection. If you tried to explain the eyes thing with most people they start feel very unhappy and depressed. I want to find someone and people who I can share this stuff with. I don’t have any hope that it can actually really be cured, as I feel better now than ever, but its still there affecting my social life and happiness. Given all this I think it easier to go direct for people with who you have a connection…what do you think?

Guest · Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2004 1:14 pm Post subject:

i think its great that you posted i cant see any harm in it at all. whatever.

sofajudge · Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2004 3:40 pm Post subject: Thanks for your comment G

Thanks for the comment.

I don't really imagine that anyone reading this message here will get in contact unfortunately. After all most people with SP are probably not that excited about meeting other SPers. But, I think that is based on the misconception that SP is something entirely negative. I don’t think it is. Although it can be frustrating as hell.

In the end though, I think everyone with SP is, very likely, far more interesting that boring ‘NORMAL’ people provided they are taking the problem on. NORMAL people are sometimes: intensely, crushingly BORING. I think having SP essentially means that you will probably see through rubbish more easily or may be more willing to speak your mind…in the right circumstances. Having had and having the experience of SP gives people a new perspective where they are much less likely to sit in judgement on others. It should make them more interesting people if they take the problem on.

That’s why I want to meet people with SP. Unfortunately the cruel trick of fate is that no-one talks about having SP openly person to person you never get to know whether the cute girl you are talking to has the same issues. That would make me far more interested in someone if I felt they could understand me or had had this experience.

wistful_dementia · Intermediate User Joined: Sep 28, 2004 Posts: 173

think the old sofa judge is right..... unfortunately for us guys with SAD, women (even women with SAD) seem to prefer the typical 'Alpha' male type. I wonder if this is truely a biological preference or if social conditioning is the reason. Like most things in life it's is probably due to both. I can relate to his reasoning behind posting a dating add at this site. In my opinion (right or wrong) it is still easier, even for an average looking woman, to find a lover- guy or girl. They have one step up on us because we guys are expected to be assertive. There isn't anything wrong with that, but, if you are a guy with SAD, lonely and tired, it would be refreshing to for once find a woman who is assertive and is actually looking for a companion to bond with and understand rather than a woman who is attracted to a mentor, leader, or alpha male. If it is true that women are naturally attracted to 'stronger' more assertive alpha types, isn't there an exception out there- an independent woman who is looking for a friend and a lover? Well I wish the sofa fella and myself luck. All apologies to women who are here to find relief (as so many women and some men just need a break from sexual tensions and worrying about society's harsh standards concerning female beauty). Maybe it is about time for the world to evolve-hmmmm... I'll stop now before I start bantering about metaphysics vs. neuropsychology Wink

Maybe this site should offer a dating service. In anycase, everyone should try to be more tolerant and attempt to see thing from other perspectives.
Take care,
Sean