Are you assertive?

maggie · Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 4:35 pm Post subject:

hi magda74 Very Happy

...yeah, i'm Canadian eh?.....i think it's a carved out lime on kitty in pic...not my kitty...i do have 2 cats though..minus the lime hats Razz

.....the look on the cats face in pic kills me...kinda looks how i feel sometimes...wish i had a lime hat to hide under Wink

....p.s. go Leafs go!!!!!!!!!

magda74 · Intermediate User Joined: Sep 25, 2005 Posts: 129

Hi guys,
i play at being invisible alot of the time. not by staying mute, but by not wanting to stand out. we used to have these morning meetings at work where 20 of us would stand around to hear our daily quotas. sometimes the manager would "surprise" us with group games or we'd have to give dept. presentation. Nightmare.

Maggie-don't follow sports that much, not even hockey. (' Embarassed

')I know, i know i'm a terrible Canadian. Glad they're back tho, we'll have a happier nation.

Jeannie21 · Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 11:37 pm Post subject:

I am passive for sure.

I've gotten into many bad and sometimes scary situations because of this.
It was so much of a problem that my mom made me join an assertiveness training group.
In the group we had to role-play different situations, and try to act assertive. This was one of the hardest things I ever did because of my sp. But now I am a little bit more assertive and haven't gotten into many bad situations since. The main thing I learned is to be able to recognize when and why I am being passive. That is the only way I can change my behavior.

4myself · Posted: Fri Sep 30, 2005 12:57 am Post subject:

Interestingly when I looked up the Assertiveness sites I found that the first 'rule' of assertive behaviour is to recognise that we have a right to live our lives exactly how we want to live them and make choices for ourselves. I found that interesting because one of the main problems with social phobia is we tend to not do or say anything because we are worried about what other people might think. Its probably why many sp people like myself are not assertive.

moog · Intermediate User Joined: Apr 12, 2005 Posts: 154

I am not assertive. I am too timid, and I don't like to draw attention to myself

black_mamba · Posted: Fri Sep 30, 2005 6:37 pm Post subject:

I tend to be quite assertive with topics that I feel are imprtant to me; my education and my family for example, but if someone pushes ahead of me in a queue I shy away from making a scene. It's fairly petty, and I'm not about to heighten my anxieties on something so stupid. Hopefully not anyway. Confused

FaymeLevy · Posted: Fri Sep 30, 2005 8:53 pm Post subject:

Oh definately not. I wish I was, but im always afraid that I'll upset someone, and I dont want that. It's strange, cuz both my Mother and my Aunt (whom I am very close to) are VERY assertive and arent afraid of hardly anything...it just skipped me I guess. Wink

still-in-my-shell · Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2005 3:26 am Post subject:

Ha- Assertive? Are you kidding me... does passive/aggresive count for anything?

Here's how my lack of assertiveness turned into stupidity- I had started a new job and we had a safety course that said in case of emergency don't use the central staircase, that the glass around it would cave in and we'd die a terrible death etc.

So the next day there was a bomb threat and everyone starting walking in circles like prairie chickens, not knowing where to go and ending up using the central staircase and I knew better but just followed like an idiot.

so stupid!

discosuperfly · Newbie User Joined: Jan 06, 2006 Posts: 13

4myself · Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 10:28 pm Post subject:

I didnt actually finish the course Embarassed

but it helped me while I was doing it. I think the most useful thing it taught me was as I mentioned above, that I have the right to live my life my way, as long as I'm not hurting anyone then it shouldnt be a problem.

_________________
The less you talk, the more your listened to.