oh! and I forgot to ask the most important question that had been bugging me and im sure just some guy is dying to know as well: WTF do you say to a girl when they go:
[consider this little conversation as something that happened after I came out of SP hibernation, and somehow ended up meeting with someone at a nightclub]
stuff in []s are just my thoughts
Girl: So you got a gf now?
Me: "Um... no. *akward silence* [actually I just came out of SP hibernation, and have never had any live experience with a female lifeform...]"
Girl: How come? Your such a *some positive remark*
Me: "I dunno.... never had one.. [because as I mentioned ive never dated a girl in my entire life!]"
Girl: Never??? why?
WHY: yes that is the question. WTF do I tell them, I really hope the answer wont be:
tell her that your a Social Phobiac and you never had a girlfriend cause you though you were a loser LOL please!
It's pretty hard to lie, and I don't think it's a good idea either. But explaining why you never had a gf when your 20 is... pretty hard. Anyway, my reply in that occassion consisted of a weak "i dunno" again, and then looking around all nervous. I think I shot myself in the foot then and there, because after that I was just thinking about how i can leave asap.
My intuition tells me that you should tell her that you're shy, make this really sad face and stare at the ground, then say you think you're bad looking and she's too pretty and that makes you feel embarassed, and lastly comment on how your mother was violent and evil. That will make her maternal instincts come into action and she'll want to comfort you.
Not that I can do any of this
As for the stuff about alcohol... Social Phobics have a tendency to become psychologically addicted to alcohol, since it helps us with our inibitions, which make us suffer so much. I stay away from it despite the temptation since I know how it could turn out. You can find many reports of people with SP on the net who ended up alcoholic. I'm not saying that would happen to you, but the chances are greater then with an average person. My advice is, we should stay away from beer.
For those who have had problems with their mother similar to mine, I strongly reccomend the self-help book "Understanding the Borderline Mother". The author was, herself, a woman with BPD who made her sons suffer very much, and this book was her attempt at redemption. I used to feel that self-help was a vulgar thing, but this has changed my mind. It made me understand what I went through and why. Unfortunately, it didn't reach me early enough to prevent the damage. But if your mother show similar symptoms, by all means find this title in some library and buy it.
I have to leave now but when I come back I might create a "Guys Room" so that we can talk about girls without disapproving female eyes being cast on us
Joined: Sep 30, 2004 Posts: 758 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2004 3:37 pm Post subject:
Introvert you should of said 'because I was waitng for you' with a cheeky smile.
I know there have been alot of posts about how to talk to women/people etc
It's hard I know but if you can make someone laugh and feel good about themselves it's going to be hard for them to dislike you.
BTW instead of beer try fluvoxamine. After three days taking the pills, I certainly feel slightly drunk. The positive effects should only be noticeable after a couple of weeks though.
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