Some Life

Gamesta · Posted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 8:53 pm Post subject: Some Life

I have one dream... and one dream only, and it won't be an easy one to reach because of my Social Phobia

Okay, before I tell you my dream and you laugh at me, lemme' tell ya my problem. Okay I have a hard time talking to anyone I don't have to talk to (People who aren't friends/family/assigned partners). If I don't have a reason to talk to someone, then I feel stupid talking to them. If I don't know someone I feel stupid even thinking about talking to them. Theres this one girl I wanted to talk to, whos usually alone at lunch (But shes too good lookin for me I think.. evne though I am a sexy beast) and I can't even talk to her because she'll think I"m wierd.. What do I do about it when I can't help but think of what everyone else thinks of me. I get nervous when people look atm e usually that I don't know. And when I'm talking across the class sto a friend (which is rare) I check to see if anyone is looking at me because they are probably thinkin I'm dumb. I don't want to get Therapy or Medicine because I don't want to ask my Mom (I'm talkative around friends / family) because that wouldn't seem right.

Now onto my dream -- Try not to laugh, but, I want to be a Rapper (yes it's wierd) I rap on the internet in text form because I don't want to do audio, and if I want to accomplish this dream I will obviously have to be in front of people. But I would feel stupid for 2 reasons... One I'm rapping... Two I'm white (If your white and can't rap good then they make fun of you) The only things I like are Friends/Family/Girls/RAP/Video Games

Any real good self-help cures or whatever you can give me... Tips.. Anything?

JWH · Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 1:14 am Post subject:

Whoops. The 'no' vote was from me. Disregard it!

My tip is for you to go old school - watch all those old music videos. Do something intelligently different with your style. It may give you an excuse. Also get in touch with the http://www.slsknet.org/ community.

Yossarian · Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 3:56 am Post subject:

Go for it Gamesta. If thats what you want sod what other people think, I promise you if you don't try you'll spend the rest of your life regretting it. I'm always looking back thinking what if? Trust me it's not good. I think JWH's advice is good - develop your own style. I'm sick of everyone just sitting on their arses slagging off those who get up and try. It won't be easy, even if you weren't SP. So many great people were riddled with self-doubt it's crazy. No pun intended. Maybe a stage name, identity might help. Many performers put on a mask to perform, try being someone else when you rap. It seems to work for some. No one ever achieved anything of note by not caring. It's too easy to criticise others and never put yourself out their. Fuck them, their opinions count for shit in this world. Never apologise to anyone for having dreams and ambition, never let worthless fucks whose only joy in life is to put others down get in the way. Sorry about the swearing but I'm a bit 'annoyed' with the world at the moment, 'annoyed' because I wasn't strong enough to take my own advice. Twisted Evil

Be strong and best of luck.

TylerDurden · Guest

Have you seen 8 mile yet? if you haven't then you should, it will probably help inspire you

Gamesta · Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 8:04 pm Post subject:

Wow, I was seriously expecting everyone to click NO since it's a hard thing to accomplish

Yes.. I've seen 8 Mile, actually, I feel like watching it again heh since I own it ^.^

I do regret alot of things I don't do because of being to scared to say anything, and I hate that feeling when I go home and think "What if I said something to that person" or whatever you know. Also if I can reach this dream, anything is possible then, because it's hard enough for a person who doesn't have SP, but even harder for someone who does. I can picture my self on Access Granted now (RofL)

Anyways, do you guys got any tips on how not to care about what others think, thats what i think my main problem is

wistful_dementia · Intermediate User Joined: Sep 28, 2004 Posts: 173

I agree.. we only live once. I'm 30 and for a number of reasons, including self doubt, I didn't pursue my dream of becoming a muscian/song writer.... and now I regret it...such is life... go for it, but be smart about it. Also, it never hurts to have a back up- like an education, since most musician/atheletes never go on to make a decent living at it. As far as not caring- I wish I had that answer, I am trying to desensitize myself... and while I feel like I make progress alot of times, sometimes something will happen to shoot me down. Sounds cliche, but we can't give up... it is better than the options of suicide or dying alone? Even if we are alone then we can always find some pleasure out of life, even if it is a simple one... like listening to music or writing Very Happy