Joined: Mar 10, 2006 Posts: 281 Location: sunderland
Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 5:31 pm Post subject: lost my sparkle?
hiya peeps
My name is Joanna, im 20 and i have just been diagnosed with social phobia but i have been suffering from it for ages!! it does me head in and its so frustrating when i remember back to a few years ago when i used to be out pubbing, clubbing and partying every week. I have noticed tho that most peeps who have sa have always been shy and that is not the case for me. I seemed to all of a sudden just lost my sparkle. Is anyone else the same as me and was once really outgoing? was just wondering as i want to kno if they are gettin bk to the way they were?
hey Joanna - i know what you mean. I am also 20 and when i was at school i didnt seem to have any of the problems i have now. I didnt mind doing class presentations and would crack jokes in class an generally get along really well with most people andd not have any problems speaking to them. Now i am the opposite. i deffinetly feel as though i have "lost my sparkle" and i have no idea why. I have smoked a lot of weed over the past 5 years and sometimes feel this could have contributed, but dont really know.
As for getting back the "sparkle" - I am trying. Just joining these forums is helping as i now feel as if i am being a bit more pro-active about it, and sharing what i feel rather than just letting it get me down all the time as i've been doing for the past couple of years. i know the best step would be to go see a doctor, but i'm not sure i'm ready for this, plus i feel like i should really TRY myself first, as so far i've just kindof accepted that i'm crap in social situations.
_________________ I embrace my desire to
feel the rhythm, to feel connected
enough to step aside and weep like a widow
to feel inspired, to fathom the power,
to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain,
to swing on the spiral
of our divinity and still be a human.
Joined: Mar 10, 2006 Posts: 281 Location: sunderland
Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 6:22 pm Post subject:
I am so releived to find someone the same! I have always been really popular and outgoing with loadsa friends and im just gradually now losing touch with all of them. Even my best friends! its so sad cos i feel like a shadow of my former self! The thing is tho i am very good at putting on a front so sometimes they still see the bubbly bright me and just think that i am fine! In fact i am dying inside!
You replying to me has already helped as i dont feel so isolated! Even though i have some good friends they dont understand as my actions are irrational and i know that! it has got to the point for me now that i wont go out the house for weeks at a time and normally i only leave because i have to go to the doctors.
Staying in the house tho just isnt helping!i am starting a job in 3 weeks and my anxiety is starting to show big style. I am on beta blockers for physical symptoms such as tension headaches and palpatations and they really help but i know it is going to take a lot of willpower for me to get out of my pjs and out of the front door!
Im so glad that ya have a positive outlook! its true that noone can help if ya not willing to help yourself so u already one step closer to regaining that sparkle. Maybe you should go to the doctors tho! i know its daunting but when they put me on medication it had really helped the physical symptoms and although i still do worry inside i dont show it! and i have a feeling of calm!! lol! first time in years! I also have to see a psychiatric nurse which i feel will help. It makes ya feel much better knowing that wat you r feeling is not silly and that you actually do have an illness and will get better in time!
Glad my reply helped. It is good to find people who feel the same way. I hope your new job works out, i'm sure you'l let us all know how it goes. As for the doctors i really dont think i could face it, even though i know it would be good for me. Coming on here and talking about it is one thing, but i honestly dont think i could go to a doctor, which is so anoying because i know i should.
_________________ I embrace my desire to
feel the rhythm, to feel connected
enough to step aside and weep like a widow
to feel inspired, to fathom the power,
to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain,
to swing on the spiral
of our divinity and still be a human.
Joined: Mar 10, 2006 Posts: 281 Location: sunderland
Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 7:03 pm Post subject:
Have ya spoke to anyone about how u feeling??
I felt that depressed that I let it go on for so long I was on the verge of having a breakdown! It was the start on the road to recovery goin to the doctors tho! i sometimes find that it is easier to talk to a total stranger about how you are feeling because they dont kno wat you used to be like so they havent a bias opinion! shame ya dont live down road cos i would have come with ya! would have even dragged meself out of me pjs! lol!
I honestly dont feel so depressed now cos of seeking help! its like a weight has been lifted!! I can see the bright side!
i havnt spoke to anyone about it, which i know isnt good because i've been bottling it up inside for like a year or 2 now, just me an my crazy thoughts lol. Untill i found this website an read about SP i really did think i was loosing my marbles, its good to know that maybe they are just missing an maybe one day i can find em again. You're right about cardiff an sunderland not being down the road lol but i appreciate the thought
I'm glad you feel better after talking to a doctor, i can understand it was like a weight had been lifted, cos small as it is, i kinda feel like a weight has been lifted just by coming on here an talking about what i'm feeling.
_________________ I embrace my desire to
feel the rhythm, to feel connected
enough to step aside and weep like a widow
to feel inspired, to fathom the power,
to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain,
to swing on the spiral
of our divinity and still be a human.
Joined: Mar 10, 2006 Posts: 281 Location: sunderland
Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 10:24 am Post subject:
hi gem gem, aramoor and harvey! thanks for the support ! just over the pst few days i have felt alot better geting up on a morning cos i have the worry of feeling like a total fruitloop taken away after meetin some lovely ppl on ere! wish i had found it a bit sooner! lol xxx
Joined: Mar 10, 2006 Posts: 281 Location: sunderland
Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 10:24 am Post subject:
hi gem gem, aramoor and harvey! thanks for the support ! just over the pst few days i have felt alot better geting up on a morning cos i have the worry of feeling like a total fruitloop taken away after meetin some lovely ppl on ere! wish i had found it a bit sooner! lol xxx
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