Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 3:45 pm Post subject: Accepting compliments!
It is just me or does anyone else have difficulty taking compliments?
My fiance tells me i'm beautiful and I'm like 'nah, i'm ugly'. Or I draw somehting and people tell me its good and I just put myself down time and time again. Why cant i just say thankyou and accept it?
Joined: Jan 06, 2004 Posts: 78 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 5:37 pm Post subject:
Yes, I find that as well. Maybe the mind tells us we have to believe it before we accept it. Believing in yourself when you have low self-esteem is quite difficult.
self-asteem, indeed. if u have a fiance. at least be sure he thinks ur beautiful. and he thinks so you probably are. unless hes the hunchbac of notredame or something and u would be?...
ALL this SP is about self-asteem and confidence. i dont know the result but confidence can make u talk, even if people is not interested on the topic. i believe being interesting is not on the inside but depends on the people who is listening.
yes i used to have trouble with it, i would have the feeling that people would only say it to cheer me up and not mean it.
but now i view it differently. of course if i belief it i accept the compliment but if i don't i see it as a person that is trying to be nice to me and wants me to feel better about myself wich is a positive thing
i think someone suggested, or i read somewere, that i should accept compliments graciously, and so i started doing it from then. Now when someone gives me a compliment i say "yes indeed, blah blah blah" i think iv gone off at the other extreme now
Yeah, taking compliments is extremely difficult for me for a number of reasons. Thinking of it as a gift is not easy either, since I have a hard time accepting gifts as well (thoughts like: "I don't deserve it" - "Why did that person go through all this trouble because of me...") Aside from me *not believing* in what people say to me when they complement me, I also am very afraid I'll say something or act in a way that may seem stuck-up or egoistic.
Still, I'm always trying to provoke myself - so when I do get compliments, I smile and say "Why, thank you!" or something like that. Nevertheless it makes me depressed because it does not make me glad at all. Practise makes perfect?
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