Pushed out of social groups

Horatio · Posted: Sat Nov 06, 2004 1:31 am Post subject: Pushed out of social groups

Why is it that Im always being pushed to the outer of social groups then finally uncerimonously dumped out of them alltogether? Ever since I was at school and being bullied like anything its always been the bloody same.

People I thought were my friends start making fun of me, then stop including me, then start avoiding me and without telling me they dont want my friendship anymore I find myself not in the group at all.

For the last 4 years or so Ive only had a few friends but now Im finding they are spending more time with each other and I get invited out basically never, in order for me to do something with them I have to organise it and even then it feels like Im asking them to do a chore by going out with me somewhere and more often than not they are "busy" with other social engagments and cant see me anyways. I feel like Im once again turning into the unwanted baggage going round and round the airport luggage conveyerbelt by itself, noone wanting to pick it up, noone wanting to be associated with it, going round and round and round all day long watching all the other bags getting taken home until eventually Im there by myself and a security gaurd comes to destroy me in case Im a bomb.

You know what, I think socialphobia is a joke, yeah sure its a condition and yeah sure its something in our heads that needs fixing, but I reckon Im using it for too many excuses, trying to sheild the truth from myself.

The truth is that Im a fucking loser that people dont wanna hang out with and would be better off dead. Maybe I have socialphobia, or maybe thats just a nice label to give myself instead of loser. Probably both.

JWH · Posted: Sat Nov 06, 2004 1:42 am Post subject:

I stopped ringing people to go out when I was 15 or so. People stopped ringing me to go out at 19. Trouble is I just don't want to go out. I saw enough of people at uni... four hours a week. But that's ended now. I don't know what I'm going to do with my life from now on.

LilMissTragic · Expert User Joined: Sep 05, 2004 Posts: 803

Ohh the joys of having SP. Yep, thats what it does to ya, make you feel like a loser, makes you feel so crap about yourself that you think your not worth knowing. We should all realise by now that its all in our heads...literally.
As for your so called friends...maybe they just dont know how to handle you. I have found a lot of people avoid me now because they dont know what to say or do when i am around. Act normal I tryed to tell them but no, too bloody hard for them that was. So, here i am, friendless yet again. Oh well, life goes on.
Anyone wanna be my friend?...lol

silgado106 · Posted: Sun Nov 07, 2004 3:20 am Post subject:

LilMissTragic · Expert User Joined: Sep 05, 2004 Posts: 803

Cool, consider yourself on my new list of friends Smile

...or should i say, my only list of friends.

boons · Guest

jeez stop feeling sorry for yourself you all whine on here constantly i found out about my sp like 6 months ago i thought fuck it im going out too party, my personality has come back at least 85% im back with all my friends and just enjoying life.

In my opinion most people with sp are cowards(i was), Just say too yourself fuck it and go have fun its actually not as bad as you think it would have been once your actually there. If you do this as often as you can you start too realize theres nothing too it.

Its people that go out once a blue moon and moan about how shit it felt that dont get cured cause they dont do it again for months. Well go out the very next day and then the next. you all seem too think one day you will venture outside and it will be gone well it dosent work like that put some effort into it ffs

You and you alone are the only cure for this either grow some balls and get on with your life or just jump of a bridge.

Yossarian · Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2004 2:12 am Post subject:

While I appreciate the sentiment if not the tone, there is some truth to what you say boons. However it is kinda like saying all the Egyptians had to do to build the Pyramids was keep throwing bricks together.

Guest · Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2004 9:53 am Post subject:

Thats exactly right yoss. Look at the brick layer the more he lays the better he gets.. (first 4-5 pyramids failed but they kept going ) sp is simple loss of memory kind of once your back in the swing of things it gets easier and easier.

Horatio · Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2004 10:23 am Post subject:

boons · Guest

the few "friends" I have dont really give a stuff about me and tend to run me down a lot.

Then they arent friends...

I dont have invitations a thew months ago when i decided too get better i just went out too the pub and had a good time you'll soon make new friends.

Most of the friends i used too know i dont even speak too anymore i have new supportive friends. I guess with some people you have too work thinks out with yourself before you get friends and such and its not too hard just be positive and look at your position and just improve what you think needs improving.

If i can get better most of you can i used too smoke heavy loads of weeds and skunk in my school days and because of that i have huge paranoia aswell which makes it also twice as hard.

My sucess comes from my big first step i think, i didnt just tackle shops and little things like that i just took the big leap and went out to the pub and since then my fear of shops have just tottaly gone and im use too the pub also now i just need too work on things like interviews and the harder parts of sp.

Im also taking Citalopram medication and it WORKS. If none of you have tried meds i think its a good idea they give you so much confidence and raise your self asteem.

sp is a tug of war in your mind anxiety vs your true self and the more negative you get the harder the anxiety will pull. So be positive and you'll soon be winning Very Happy