Joined: Oct 04, 2004 Posts: 581 Location: New Zealand
Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 8:15 am Post subject:
socratic wrote:
When you see that person on their own, go up to them and ask them, why did you do that? Explain to them how it made you feel.
'You made me look really bad in front of all of those people and i'd like you to explain to me why you did that.'
Don't let your emotion cloud this, don't be angry or afraid, just be very matter of fact. Make eye contact with them and know what you're gonna say before you say it so you don't sound afraid. Apparantly it'll make the bully feel really bad about themself.
its a good idea in theory, something that counsellors suggested that I should try when I was being bullied at school
the result was me being shoved against the wall and kicked multiple times, public humiliation when the next time they spotted me they announced to the crowd gathered there that I felt bad when they teased me, was then told that not only was it my place in life to be made to feel bad but in fact there was no room in life for me at all and that I deserved to be killed. was then shoved against the wall and beaten up by several of the guys while their girlfriends applauded from the sidelines
I didnt try that approach again although perhaps in some situations it could work
Joined: Jul 07, 2005 Posts: 922 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 10:47 pm Post subject: Re: Name Calling
MrRightNow wrote:
Dorothy wrote:
Is name calling bullying. i maen if someone is laughting becaus u have acne. doe this count?
Sure, but like women's basketball is a sport.
Verbal abuse IS bullying and can have the same kinds of long term effects as physical bullying.
The best thing to do when you're being verbally harrassed it to try and ignore them, generally they'll get bored if you don't give them the reaction they're after. It's not the best idea in the world, but with bullies you never know what will work.
Joined: Jul 07, 2005 Posts: 922 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 12:01 am Post subject:
socratic wrote:
Quote:
its a good idea in theory, something that counsellors suggested that I should try when I was being bullied at school
the result was me being shoved against the wall and kicked multiple times, public humiliation when the next time they spotted me they announced to the crowd gathered there that I felt bad when they teased me, was then told that not only was it my place in life to be made to feel bad but in fact there was no room in life for me at all and that I deserved to be killed. was then shoved against the wall and beaten up by several of the guys while their girlfriends applauded from the sidelines
I didnt try that approach again although perhaps in some situations it could work
Didn't you tell the police? I'm pretty sure the laws in New Zealand should be similar to those in the UK. Assualt and a threat against your life are pretty serious. You shouldn't tolerate violent behaviour. Though when i was younger i had the same, i couldn't tell anyone, especially the police. If the police turned up at my house my dad would've done an encore.
I know this wasn't directed at me but just thought I'd reply, hope you don't mind I was verbally attacked for years, and recently physically attacked, phoned the police numerous times and nothing was ever done. In theory there are laws against bullying; physical and verbal, but in practice it rarely works that way.
Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 3:56 am Post subject: GET EVEN BEFORE YOU END UP HATING YOURSELF FOR BEING A WUSS
The moment someone calls you a name, take my advice. Pick up the nearest two-by-four (nails optional) and beat the ever-loving shit out of them! I'm 40 now and there's not a day that passes when I don't feel humiliated and inferior for not standing up for myself, particularly in high school during formative years when we literally form opinions about ourself as much as about others.
My grandfather, I'm told (died before I was born) had this happen to him so he went to the local police chief and asked what a fine would be for beating the hell out of someone. When told, he paid the money in advance and politely walked to the bastard's house and "beat the hell out of him." He reportedly felt much better and had already paid the fine in advance so nothing happened. The bully who called him a slanderous name lost a tooth over it and realized he had done wrong and actually looked up to my grandfather for it.
Take my advice, folks: Find the balls within you and react appropriately. Don't get mad, GET EVEN! Anyone who advises you otherwise is delusional and probably can't relate because they're wealthy Republicans and have their asses kissed because their money intimidates regular folks.
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I was verbally attacked for years, and recently physically attacked, phoned the police numerous times and nothing was ever done. In theory there are laws against bullying; physical and verbal, but in practice it rarely works that way.