Men with social anxiety are dangerous

Question · Guest

Many men are shy around women. When a guy gets REALLY shy around women, he learns to fear (hate) them. Men like this still have active sex drives, and they often end up looking at pornography as a substitute for normal sexual relations with women, which they are unable to solicit. The more they look at pornography, the less able they are to relate to real women. After a while, even seeing a real woman on the street makes him feel like compulsively clutching his genitals.

Prostitutes say that their customers are overwhelmingly men with social anxiety -- they fear women and have to pay for sex.

Criminologists say that rapists are overwhelmingly men with social anxiety. They fear women and are trying to perform "cognitive behavioral therapy" on themselves by raping them in order to get over their fear of them.

Whenever someone is arrested for some bizarre and gruesome crime, witnesses and neighbors always say: "No one would have ever expected it from John -- he was always so gentle and mild-mannered, if not a little odd. He didn't quite meet my eyes, and seemed anxious around me." After a while, we should cease being surprised that "the ones you least suspect are the most dangerous."

Men, for your own sake, get a little confident, and develop normal relations with women. Also, stay away from any solo-sexual activities -- it just makes things worse.

Women, know that the men who pose a genuine threat to you are not the cads who constantly ask you out and flirt with you -- but the men with social anxiety disorder who are scared of you.

I don't mean to step on any toes, I just want to be brutally honest about the reality of the situation.

Question · Guest

Of course, not every man with SA is a dangerous rapist or serial killer. Many men with SA seem to go about life without hurting anybody else.

And not every rapist or serial killer has SA. Some of them (very few) are actually confident men who relate well with women.

But, when you look at the criminological literature, SA and crime track very closely. Normal men who are confident with women do NOT have to rape to get sex, do NOT have to prey on little children to get sex, do NOT have to have a corpse in the closet to get sex.

If you are a man with SA and you want to get motivated to recover, read the book "Notes from the Underground" by Fyodor Dostoyevski. This man understood SA like few authors have ever done before. He doesn't paint a pretty picture -- because it isn't a pretty picture.

lifesnotfair · Posted: Sun Nov 14, 2004 4:13 am Post subject:

thanks.. there is so much in life to look forward to..

i don't relate to women, nor do woem like me, i have social phobia, so i am going to become a serial killer???

great.... another reason to be depressed..

J*H · Guest

I think this is a very risky thing to be posting on here. There was a post a while back where several people feared being viewed as a criminal because of the very stereotype you put forward. The reason so many of the people here have problems are because they fear the way society regards them. Sprouting this bullshit will not help.

-Jp · Posted: Sun Nov 14, 2004 8:23 am Post subject:

this post is so gay, it's like the same if you would post on a forum with black people and say "hey why don't u get white, black people commit too many crimes"....u generalize one group of people
and i think people with SA that do those kind of things have other psycologic problems along with it

Guest · Posted: Sun Nov 14, 2004 10:57 am Post subject:

In my experience rape isnt about getting sex its about power.

You are right about rape being about power. But it's about power AND sex.

The sex part is simple -- a rapist has an erection and ejaculates -- this is certainly sexual (at least to him). Of course, the victim doesn't experience the thing as sexual, even though the rapist does.

You emphasize the power aspect of rape -- and it emphasizes the very point I am trying to make. Men who are phobic of women feel powerless when they are with them. They feel despised and criticized. Judged and found unworthy. They are intimidated by a woman's sexuality and sexual organs. When you say rape is about power, I totally agree. It's an activity where the insecure, anxious man tries to assert power over something that terrifies him. When we feminists say that rape is about power, we are describing this cognitive behavioral therapy aspect of rape.

As for confirmation of what I've been saying, do some google searches on "fear of women" and "rape" and you'll see what I am talking about. Also, read some books by feminists like Catharine MacKinnon and Andrea Dworkin. Their books are chalk-full of statistics about rape and men. Rape is about a man who feels powerless trying to assert power over a woman.

Horatio · Posted: Sun Nov 14, 2004 10:59 am Post subject:

Yes I am a guy, yes I have social phobia, yes I find it impossible to get a girl but does that make me a rapist or serial killer? Hell no! I would never harm another individual, even when horny clueless bastards like yourself were beating me up to impress the girls I wouldnt raise my fists in anger because of the way I was brought up. Maybe that was wrong yes, maybe I shouldve been more violent and maybe it wouldve done jerks like you some good to be giving a beating.

I have a bad tendency to generalise sometimes, but with this post I have no hesitation with regards to that because you my friend are now the self appointed King of generalisations. You banter on about how all socialphobic males are a danger to women.... how the hell do you think that makes us men feel? We are honestly making an effort here! Its damn frustrating to feel unwanted and so lonely but that doesnt mean we will all seek to harm women or anyone for that matter!

Guest · Posted: Sun Nov 14, 2004 12:17 pm Post subject:

It is interesting to some I suppose.

I certainly can see the logic behind people thinking that, people who don't have SP and don't know what its like on the inside could easily reach such a conclusion.

I can't speak for all men who have SP but I, like Horatio am a male with SP and would never ever do anything remotely like that to a woman. It's just not even in the equation for me ..

I definatly don't want this kind of stuff spouted off as gospel to people, being put in a box with rapists and serial killers just isn't right at all IMO.

I'm probably one of the most passive people around, I don't raise my fists to anyone. I can't remember the last time I was in a fight, if I have been. And if I have it would've been with a guy - I certainly have never laid a hand in anger to any woman.

Yossarian · Posted: Sun Nov 14, 2004 2:06 pm Post subject:

Are you confusing poor social skills and feelings of inadequacy with SP? they are two very different things. I realise it may not seem like it for someone who doesn't have SP and is looking in from the outside.

LilMissTragic · Expert User Joined: Sep 05, 2004 Posts: 803

Does that mean you yourself are a rapist or serial killer then, question?