How Much Has Shyness Sculpted Your Personality

Invisible_Alien · Posted: Fri Nov 25, 2005 4:47 am Post subject:

I view my shyness as a negative aspect of my personality. I know if I didn't suffer from shyness I would be a totally different person. I wish I could be more outgoing and confident. Shyness has always held me back, professionally and socially. I do feel like a social recluse. I know my shyness has made me more empathetic and sensitive, which are good things. But it has also prevented me from finding a career that I enjoy, and more importantly finding meaningful relationships and friendships. I view it as an obstacle to overcome. I'm usually able to hide my shyness. Most people when they first meet me probably don't think I'm shy. They most likely think I'm a little quiet, and sometimes snobish. To be honest, I'd rather have them think that than think I'm shy. I've always felt my shyness was a weakness.

testobot · Newbie User Joined: Nov 07, 2005 Posts: 87

Ah, yeah... I am actually working on my bachelor's of science in psychology at the moment, and I am almost done- woohoo!. I am curious, do you ever get stressed, not only in situations that can be expected as a social phobe- like being called on in class or having to give a speach- but when the topic of anxieties disorder and phobias are being covered? I am always tensing up and worrying that people can pick up on my anxiety when these topics are being covered.

But as far as the sensitivity, being quiet and studying people- I can relate.

SongOfSongs · Newbie User Joined: Feb 21, 2006 Posts: 85

In a word, completely.

_________________
"Purity of heart is to will one thing." - Soren Kierkegaard

Caillou · Posted: Tue May 09, 2006 3:09 pm Post subject:

I feel like I have a double personality - my outside and inside personality. I find that people tend to judge me by what I project rather than what is really happening inside my head. These two personalities are extremely different. I am screaming to be heard but often ignored.

I wanted to cry when I read the posts because I could see so much of me in them. I'm extremely sensitive. I often wonder what I would be like if I weren't so shy and aware of myself all the time. I feel so controlled.

My life would be extremely different but I don't know if it would be better or worse.

easy · Newbie User Joined: Mar 23, 2006 Posts: 55

Err.. shyness is your personality. Part of it anyway.

PhantomPod · Posted: Tue Jul 04, 2006 1:30 am Post subject:

Oh man, shyness has greatly sculpted my personality. It's held me back from so many things and just from being the funny outgoing person I feel like I truly am on the inside.

Moonie · Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 1:21 am Post subject:

I have to agree with you.. I am a very sensitive person and am actually glad for it. Although, I wish sometimes I weren't SO sensitive, I do feel it makes me be more aware of other people's feelings. My BF (who talks A LOT and sometimes too much) will say some things that come out as hurtful. I finally yelled at him and told him that he needs to think about what comes out of his mouth and keep it close at times. Sounds mean, but sometimes when you are very talkative you might not tend to consider your words first.

As a previous poster said, I really am not too concerned with being loud and outgoing. There are way too many of them out there. In fact, I think my shyness/reserved matter in unique. Sometimes it is too extreme, but this is who I am. My English prof a few years ago said that I was a very unique personality in the classroom and the best writer in the class. That was such an awesome compliment and I was pleased that someone would see me that way. I just want comfort.. which I don't think I have found yet.

I do feel that my shyness has prevented me from aiming higher. I am a good student (good grades, high ambitions, almost about to graduate college), but if I weren't so shy I could have gone farther or have done it faster.. But oh well! I think I could have gone either way. My dad's side of the family is very outgoing (my brother got that gene), and my mom's side very quiet (me.) It comes out when I am drunk, at ease wih someone, or at home. I can talk really loud and fast. I am just morbidly shy with most people.

And finally, I am a psych major! This is my last year. I reall enjoyed most of my psych classes (Women Psych, ABNORMAL, Theory of Personality, etc.) My last few classes are going to be hard ones. I am not exactly sure what I want to do yet.. I am thinking I either want to go on and become an occupational therapist or something with addictive behavior (like alcohol). I really loved abnormal psych and would like to even go on with that- study mental behavior.

Rx · Newbie User Joined: Sep 05, 2006 Posts: 6

Man oh man... does anyone else have a problem with expressing themselves in writing?? This will be try #7 for my reply (argh!)

I think if I were not shy, I would be much less sensitive. And that thought I do not like. I love thinking about why people do what they do, and feel what they feel. I also think that being sensitive does allow you to perhaps see beauty where others may not, and to experience that beauty in a much more intense manner, where others would not or would not care to.

I think being shy definately does not help with meeting the ladies. The man is supposed to appear confident, supposed to approach the woman and such. Shyness just does not seem to portray confidence, and that does not help with the ladies! So starting a family is gonna be tougher. That is my main concern these days.

This is my first post as well. I almost hope to have found a 'home' here, or atleast a sense of belonging because goodness knows I yearn for it! I just wish I could sit down and explain my situation without feeling like a fool afterwards. The number of times my parents made me feel like there was something wrong with me (and like a fool) because of the way I am, and even if there was something wrong, offering no helpful advice in return..... ugh. I love them, but ugh!

Shyness is a double-edged sword. I know that with my closer friends, I am a chatterbox, and the relationships are fantastic. But until I believe in my heart that I can trust someone, I just won't let them in.

Thus far, the ONLY method to circumnavigate shyness that I have found that actually does work, is to shut off my brain and just do it. It doesnt permanently fix anything but it gets me through whatever situation I am in, albeit NOT with flying colors! Wink