Good looks equals confidence?

longlivesolitude · Intermediate User Joined: Dec 11, 2005 Posts: 127

Hm.. It's not really healthy watching all these makeover programs I think. As some of you mention the looks and your personality are to different things and in programs like extreme makeovers it's just all about the looks. Horrible show. I remember that I saw one program where a girl were having all kinds of plastic surgery even changing something that the girl didn't see as problem. Arh.. just get pissed of how everything is about glamour and good looks. It's too fake Shocked

black_mamba · Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 9:57 am Post subject:

I think that if your anxieties centre around people's immeadiate perceptions of you (and to some extent this is the crux of all our problems) then perhaps improving your appearance would help, but I don't think that if you suddenly became a supermodel your worries would dissapear, its more complex than that.

PLUS supermodels (male or female) are not everyone's idea of good looking. What may be good looking in my eyes is ugly in yours...

In my case yes some small worries were about my looks, people always said I looked miserable and tired/ill because I have dark circles under my eyes and never smile. Generally improving my confidence has helped me smile more - and everyone knows that a smile is friendlier than a frown. So improving things from the inside-out has helped two fold: get confident with what you have, then you emit this confidence naturally through your general posture and facial expressions, then you may even gain more confidence when people assume you're already happy and confident when you're only halfway there. Does that make sense?

My sister recently had a nose operation because hers was slightly bent. When I met up with her I have to admit I didn't notice her nose was different at all, but I told her she looked happier and healthier because she was smiling SO much more, she refused to believe me of course. So yes, for some it works that way. Personally I'm happy with myself, even thought my nose sucks and is much worse than hundreds of people who 'fix' theirs. Rolling Eyes

If you've become unhealthily obsessed with certain aspects then changing those offer some relief sure, but its worth recommending less drastic options first.

So we all know that initial impressions do count, but only for 0.0000001% of your overall personality. Its the rest that matters more, IMO. Smile

shipost · Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 12:59 pm Post subject:

Looks arn't my problem, I'm just never interested in stuff so find it hard to fit in conversations. So personality for me Sad

I need a geek friend lol, I like geeky stuff Shocked

Quixote · Advanced User Joined: Mar 14, 2006 Posts: 450

Being good looking doesn't have a direct effect on your personality of course. But it can't be denied that your physical appearence does affect the development of your character over the years, starting from your childhood. So I suppose a tall, strongly built, handsome guy, or a tall beautiful girl would be less likely (far from impossible of course) to develop SP.

Napoleon Bonaparte was a notable exception I suppose Smile

_________________
I died and I reincarnated in myself again.

shipost · Posted: Fri May 26, 2006 6:17 pm Post subject:

LittleMissScareAll · Expert User Joined: Jun 15, 2005 Posts: 716 Location: Hell

I'd love to have more work done to myself...I think it'd make me feel better about myself. I don't think I'll ever be completely happy with the way I look though since I'm not a rich person. I'd love to have liposuction/body lift, nose job, lip injections... I can't afford it though. Crying or Very sad

Some people tell me I don't need to do that stuff, but I feel like I would look & feel alot better if I could have all that stuff done to myself. I think one reason I've always had/still have such low self esteem is because when I was a kid people always told me how ugly & how fat I was. So I'll always see myself as fat and ugly, no matter what anybody tells me now.

ImMissy · Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2006 3:44 am Post subject:

I think I'm a pretty girl, but, I don't think self confidence is just about how you think you look. It's also simply, just how confident you are about yourself. i.e. can you do things? can you succeed at something you want to do? I guess I am pretty self confident, but I have lots of days where I feel ugly, or like I just can't do stuff I want to do. Which, I guess is probably related moreso to depression....but....either way, I've got low self esteem/confidence days, and then good days where I feel good about myself and the things I'm doing.

_________________
mtv.com... search for: SOiL, then watch their new video "Give it up!" It's starring me! :p

Meow · Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2006 5:41 am Post subject:

Hey missy,

Just curious if you've been to see a Doctor and been diagnosed? what were you diagnosed with if you have been? depression, etc

Very Happy

boodizm · Posted: Wed Jun 07, 2006 6:57 am Post subject:

Getting to the core of the question, I think any confidence gained from improving your image in your own eyes is short-term gain and I believe will not make you feel better about yourself down the track. Regarding sa, I don't see looks coming into the equation much at all.
When people comment on my appearance I get quite embarrased and just don't want to hear it. I think, why am I getting compliments? when there are other people around that might get the feeling that the person does not think they are good looking.
True, it's a small piece of the puzzle but a piece nontheless, but it's a peice that just blown way out of proportion mostly because its the first thing people see when they look at you, but it's the character and distinct personality traits that will stay in other people's minds long after they meet you.

Indecisive · Newbie User Joined: Jun 02, 2006 Posts: 34

I'm very impressed with how well you all can express how you feel. A lot of the time I feel trapped in my own head having feelings that I can't quite vocalize or put into writing. I just tend to shut down if something is bothering me and just stay in my room.

I feel my lack of confidence is pretty clear to others. When talking face to face I second guess each word I speak and even later think back to what I said and second guess that also. It gets to bad that I just try to avoid talking to anyone unless I have to, which is what prompted me to look up information on SA.

I'm just afraid of saying the wrong thing, afraid I won't know what to say just really doubting in myself and my ablities as a person. I don't feel intelligent (sp? how ironic if I spelled it wrong huh) I don't feel "normal". I think the more someone gets to know me the more they will realize how boring I am, how unintelligent I am and just see there is not much to me. I feel very breakable and that things people do will shatter me into pieces, then I'll be left trying to glue all the pieces back together.