Posted: Wed Jun 21, 2006 12:46 am Post subject: DONT GIVE A F*** ---- The FINAL SOLUTION???
"I'm already (*insert age here you think is too old*) and I dont have a girlfriend yet!!!"
"Its college//highschool... and omg everyone has friends and shit and they make me so fuckin jealous!!!"
"I wish I was... (*insert body modification here*) and it would be alot better..."
"I dont have any friends and I am missing out on life and I spend friday nights alone in front of my computer. I'm a loser!!!"
Sounds familiar? These are some of the few things Ive read in this forum that are pretty common. These things have a common denominator which is the desire to seek approval and acceptance. Which is the desire to love and be loved.
Why? Why do we have this disease that is not productive at all... Why do we need to continuously seek approval and all... which I swear without this behavior, we would all be fine. We would all be fine if we simply didnt care about getting laid, getting friends, getting this, getting that...
Look at the spiders who just live in their little web or little hole on the ground. Do you hear them getting depressed and killing themselves with their venomous bite that can instantly kill or maim another insect or slightly larger bird or mammal? NO.
If only there is a possible way to modify a human's genes in such a way that they will no longer desire social contact and another's approval... that would be great!
In another thread, somebody mentioned the effect of living in urbanized industrialized society where one has to make contact with all sorts of people... or somethin like that... and comparing it to living in small hunting and gathering societies where a sense of community and family is prevalent. Where there exists LOVE... COMPASSION... CARE for the well-being of members within the little community.
So in other words, to live in a modern society, we must "DONT GIVE A FUCK"? Is that the final solution and the philosophy that will keep the person functioning?
I've got parents who are worried about my change in behavior to a more "dont give a fuck" kind. These are asians who came from a culture of close ties... and they dont understand why their son is adapting that kind of mindset... I'm doin it to ensure my emotional survival in the future because it is absolutely necessary. They dont understand that. They live... and they will die in their little world where there is still LOVE, CARE, and UNDERSTANDING.
To them, it is their worst nightmare to be shipped off to a nursing home during old age. They expect their kids to take care of them and they still believe that there is a God who will reward the kids for taking good care of them.
I doubt it. Though I will still take care of my parents in old age... even though they were mean assholes... just to prove my fucking point. That one day, I am gonna be by myself and I will die alone. I will disappear from the face of this earth... ALONE. And yes that still bothers me and makes me cry sometimes... tho Im training myself.... I'm toughening up my mind to NOT GIVE A FUCK. I wanna be like... Oh well... I'm a fuckin old man... I'm gonna die sooner or later... Pfft... I dont give a fuck. lol.
Joined: Feb 10, 2005 Posts: 1831 Location: United States of America
Posted: Wed Jun 21, 2006 4:41 am Post subject:
i've always been afraid of being a needy person, and you're right. one who longs for love and acceptance from others is just asking to be hurt. humans are perfect. it's easier being content alone. but i can't give up people
Posted: Sun Jun 25, 2006 6:24 pm Post subject: Re: DONT GIVE A F*** ---- The FINAL SOLUTION???
Quote:
Look at the spiders who just live in their little web or little hole on the ground. Do you hear them getting depressed and killing themselves with their venomous bite that can instantly kill or maim another insect or slightly larger bird or mammal? NO.
In another thread, somebody mentioned the effect of living in urbanized industrialized society where one has to make contact with all sorts of people... or somethin like that... and comparing it to living in small hunting and gathering societies where a sense of community and family is prevalent. Where there exists LOVE... COMPASSION... CARE for the well-being of members within the little community.
So in other words, to live in a modern society, we must "DONT GIVE A FUCK"? Is that the final solution and the philosophy that will keep the person functioning?
All the creature that you listed do not have the same needs or intellectual capabilities of higher primates, including man. I don't think wanting to reduce desire or just not giving a fuck is all that far-fetched. However, I don't suggest the all or nothing- black and white approach. I think it really depends on the circumstances. Normally, among social creatures like human, socializing is needed for decent mental health, the obvious problem is that not all of us are good at that (and some people like schizoid types can't).... so accept yourself while continuing to work on improving yourself- I am not saying to drive yourself crazy with passion for more. just work for what you need while not giving a fuck about the rejection- try to do your best but do not giving a damn about the consequences of failure would be ideal. If somebody needs to work on their own self-esteem first then they should.
I am not sure if you are refering to my post or a prior posting in the thread that you refered to, but I was not referring to hunter-gathering societies-- those are not numerous and very few of those left are not pure hunter-gathers because of contact with 'dominant' cultures and the countries that the hunter-gatherers exist in. I was refering to preindustrialized societies that were or are agricultural/horticultural, some of which contain or contained cottage-industries (family operated businesses- like metal smiths, etc). Yes, I think extended families and close communities probably did play a very large role in providing a sense of belonging, emotional comfort, and made socializing easier on most humans than the post-industrial model of society. As cheezy as it may sound not giving a fuck is not the answer in a increasingly urbanized world-- but breaking down social barriers and perspective taking-- also treating the world more like an extended family rather than big competing groups.
I believe one of the major faults in this world is that more and more people do not give a fuck about EVERYTHING, ANYTHING, or ANYONE-- they become selfish and arrogant and can not see past there own Perspectives-- they can not Love, have Compassion, or Care. This causes conflict including what many of us know all too well- bullying. Maybe if your parents (and mine) actually cared about our emotional well being we would have coped better? I do not think religion is needed (which obviously can be devisive in and of itself) for Empathy, Understanding, or Respect... but these things can exist on their own and serve a great purpose. These are not a form of weakness, but strength- it is much easier to care about nothing. For FFS even higher mamals care for each other better than humans look at chimpanzees and elephants.
I mostly agree with testobot, except perhaps about the pre industrial societies, which I believe were plagued by endemic violence, even within the boundaries of a single community. We tend to have an excessively idealized view of the past sometimes, I think.
I would like to add, I think we all have a natural "moral sentiment" that makes us avoid pursuing our interest when doing so would result in a large damage to society. People have it to a different degree, but all (or the great majority) do. Thus, since a degree of morality is inbuilt in our nature, it is not very rational in my opinion to try and get rid of it. One may even partly succeed, but will it make him/her any happier? I doubt it. Being extremely cynical, disillusioned and depressed (as one who has managed to move beyond the notion of good and evil should most likely be) does sound kind of "cool" maybe, especially when you think of it as a pose rather than actually experiencing it in depth.
Besides, you can see people like this around. It's those people that do not follow the rules, abuse of their power whenever they have some, make the lives of others around them unpleasant, and definitely look like they are not happy at all.
_________________ I died and I reincarnated in myself again.
I mostly agree with testobot, except perhaps about the pre industrial societies, which I believe were plagued by endemic violence, even within the boundaries of a single community. We tend to have an excessively idealized view of the past sometimes, I think.
I agree there is sometimes an excessively idealized view of the past. But, I meant my writing to be put in the context of this thread: http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/postlite7719-.html. I was referring to how pre industrial societies (some of which still remain) have a communal culture with extended family ties and how this culture might actually reduce the anxiety of socializing. But sure, I also agree that there was endemic violence, sometimes within the boundaries of a single community-- I think probably many of these examples can be found in fiefdoms and cheiftoms. But I will stop babbling about these as they may be esoteric for some people, but do not forget that the Renaissance and Enlightment--- great advances for western culture occured mostly before British and North American industrialization. I suppose both preindustrial and post industrial have their positive and negative aspects... hmmm...maybe a better society would have the positive aspects of both.... anyways
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look at chimpanzees and elephants.