first time here

pappy · Newbie User Joined: Oct 28, 2003 Posts: 1 Location: Canada

hi everyone
i'm pappy i'm 47 m from ontario. i have been plagued by panic attacks and social anxiety for over 35 yrs . thats along time thinking i was alone. but i have found this site and a couple of others, and i realize i'm not. some days are worse than others but i'm hoping making new friends and having someone to talk to will lighten the burden. hope to hear from some of you soon

desdimona · Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2003 9:00 am Post subject:

Hi Pappy,
You are certainly not alone.It is great to know that there are lots of people with SP.You are sure to find friends and people to chat to and exchange ideas.I am desdimona and am 55 yrs old and still battling with SP.I am having treatment at present,CBT and it is helping a lot.I am also on medication.This is the first time I have posted a message and I was a bit nervous but I have done it now. Smile

Regards from Desdimona

wacomtablet · Posted: Mon Dec 15, 2003 12:35 am Post subject:

hello Desdimona and Pappy

how sad it is to witness sole posts from people who have so much to share, so much experience and undoubtedly so much support to give. and now it seems you are lost to this forum.
what is it about this paralysing anxiety and dread that grips us, that causes the very action of posting anonymously on an online forum to still be shrouded in fear and provide us the opportunity to exercise our self-loathing and irrational thoughts?
one thing that seems to characterise this thing is aloneness and a living, breathing sense of 'apartness' and 'separateness', and here we are provided with an opportunity to release ourselves from the shackles of that aloneness into the company of others whose experiences are similar. it may be a brief release, for just the amount of time it requires to depress the submit button or to read the echoing words of another's post, but it exists on some level.
what is it about this disorder that makes our thinking fraught with anxiety and trepidation about putting our words into the ether for public scrutiny? the terror of posting, the consequent anxieties of what others will think of us and our words, how others might misinterpret our words, how we might say something wrong, how we torture ourselves later for our perceived stupidities in posting, how we feel when we re-read what we've posted or even merely think about what we've posted, the trepidation and fear of opening a reply post and undoubtedly even worse, the wretched, worthless feelings we experience when our posts are left unacknowledged and unreplied, leaving us then to call upon our irrational thoughts to manifest the many reasons why others ignore us and find us too distasteful to even warrant a reply.
but i'll put myself through this again.
and i hope you two return to posting.