I NEVER FELT SO PUMPED UP AND MOTIVATED IN MY LIFE!!!

iamantisocial · Newbie User Joined: Jun 11, 2006 Posts: 72

Thats it. I'm fucking fed up already. I've been slacking off too long. Its about time I got off my ass and did something about it.

If you've been lookin at my previous posts, I've sometimes lashed out at my parents on some occasions.

Now I've finally had it! I'm sick and tired of all their bullshit. Their humiliation. Their treating me like a fucking kid! I'm sick and tired of them controlling my life! They do not own my life! Fuck them!!! I give them money... I respect them... I help em out in the house... but they do not fucking respect me.

And I've started taking action... started the month of august... getting all the overtime I can get from my boss. Making extra moneyon my paycheck. I'm also going to school. I'm gonna be an auto mechanic in 6 fucking months!!! At a low expense on training, I'd be making alot of money when I get out there... Yeah I heard the only down side to being a mechanic is rolling in the dirt and getting sore hands and smelling like grease... But I dont mind that! I'd come to work in a dirty place and smell and roll around in the grease... I dont mind that one bit! Its gonna pay me good... and I like cars too... Smile

And in 2 years time (cross my fingers tight and pray to God...), I'd have enough money to get my own place and finally get the fuck out of my house.

I'm really excited! Just thinking about it makes me pumped up and motivated to work... and study... and get up in the morning to do that. Thinking about finally being free. In 2 years time... is making me really excited.

This is like a battle... Its gonna take time, effort, patience... hard work... sacrifice... my fucking sweat and blood!

But all for the price of freedom. Everything is worth it. All for the price of being finally rid of my parents... everything is worth it!!!

I've been waiting for this day... since I was 12. I'm getting out. I'm getting out I'm getting out. I repeat that into my head every single day.

All for the price of freedom.

I'm so happy today!!!!! Cool

Thankful6389 · Newbie User Joined: Sep 03, 2006 Posts: 12

That's so awesome to hear a post like that around here. So postive. I am so happy for you! Very Happy

_________________
Casey

4/8/05 - Met Kelly Clarkson.

maggie · Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 3:10 am Post subject:

good for you imantisocial!!..sounds like you have a good plan..and lots of motivation..good luck with it all Smile

iamantisocial · Newbie User Joined: Jun 11, 2006 Posts: 72

Mom and all her shit-talk.

In the past, she routinely compared me with other people who were being more successful than I am, had higher grades, etc...

I fully understand that.

But awhile ago, she was havin a discussion with my brother... My brother was talking about this friend of his who FLUNKED 5 OUT OF 7 subjects in school, but knows his shit as an auto-mechanic.

Guess what mom said?

"Thats good... at least he is hardworking... unlike some people here (referring to me) who is trying hard at something that isnt for him."

I was like... woah... mama is now making me look inferior to this guy who flunked 5 out of 7 subjects and has a very hard time getting his high school diploma!!! Laughing

It is really funny. And it made me more motivated to pursue my dream.

So I'm a trying hard eh... I'll not fix her car. I will charge her scam-level exhorbitant fees to get it fixed and make it as an excuse that the parts are expensive. hahaha. Very Happy

iamantisocial · Newbie User Joined: Jun 11, 2006 Posts: 72

Mom was scolding my 11 year old brother for being an "idiot" in math. She was like... you're already in grade 6 and you're still dont know how to add and subtract integers? blablabla this... blablabla that... you are a moron!!! this... you are a moron!!! that. All said to my brother. Plus a ton of other words of demotivation... and screaming point blank at his face... like idiots fighting in the bar...

The kid had tears in his eyes.

Cmon. She's blaming him for the fault of his teacher? I knew what happened last year. He had a shitty ass teacher and mom also knew that. And idiot mom is blasting the kid for the behavior of the teacher. Cool

I had a smile on my face tho... its not that I'm a sadistic fuck who wanna see my brother get verbally (or maybe physically... I didnt see anything) abused...

Its because... I can see into the future... where mom will create another person who will hate her.

Yeah I was a kid one time. She never ever said anything motivational to me. And then she's wondering why the children of her friends respect and see their own mothers as motivational figures?

Hehe... I see mom as a motivational figure too!!!!

In a "sarcastic" sense of the word. Because I LEARNED how to turn the negative into the positive. I could... and I have every reason to fuck up myself right now. I have every reason to waste my life to drugs and commit suicide.

But no. I refuse to stay down. I am a fucking fighter.

And the more I'm excited to work harder and save up and get the fuck outta this shit hole.

I really regret slacking off and going through a roller coaster of emotional problems, depression, and suicidal thoughts. What a fucking waste of time that was. If I used those TWO YEARS PRODUCTIVELY, I'd be far away by now. But no!!! I've been such a fucking idiot