Posted: Fri Dec 17, 2004 5:54 am Post subject: The Silver Bullet
Everybody gets embarrassed. The thing that makes social phobes different is that they are embarrassed about being embarrassed. The two most powerful words for social phobes are the words "I'm embarrassed." Works like a charm.
Were you staring at me?
Oh, I'm so embarrassed!
Did you just say something offensive?
Oh, I'm so embarrassed!
You smell bad.
Oh, I'm so embarrassed!
Admit your embarrassment each time you make a social mistake, and let each experience make you stronger. Draw in the power each time you admit your mistakes, each time you admit your embarrassment.
We feel embarrassed, not confident, cocky, self-assured, or aggressive. The best thing to do is to admit exactly that -- embarrassment -- and no other feeling. If you claim anything else, you are still creating a pretense. The goal is full and complete authenticity. "To thine self be true and you will be false to no man.
It's ok to be embarrassed. It's ok to be embarrassed. Recovery is all about learning to believe this and being willing to accept this personal limitation you have.
But I DONT feel embarrassed, I have nothing to be embarrassed about. If people dont like the way i look, talk, sound, whatever then they shouldn't be looking or listening in the first place. Plus I kinda like making an idiot of myself, must be the show ff in me.
We feel embarrassed, not confident, cocky, self-assured, or aggressive. The best thing to do is to admit exactly that -- embarrassment -- and no other feeling. If you claim anything else, you are still creating a pretense. The goal is full and complete authenticity. "To thine self be true and you will be false to no man.
It's ok to be embarrassed. It's ok to be embarrassed. Recovery is all about learning to believe this and being willing to accept this personal limitation you have.
I agree, accepting our embarrassment and not caring what other people think about our embarrassment is a major step to recovery. I also agree that we should know our limitations, but that doesn't mean that we have to give up on self-improvement (not that is in your message though) maybe instead of telling our selve that we must be great, and we must be this or that, we should simply be- exist in the moment and do something- work on self improvement, but simply be and accept when we can or can not accomplish a goal, not drive ourselves crazy and beat ourselves up for not being perfect.
I think that is called unconditional self-acceptance.
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