Joined: Jan 01, 2005 Posts: 16 Location: Netherlands
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 10:40 am Post subject: depression
Just as i thought my depression couldnt get worse i entered a new stage. Now i think like over 100 times a day: i want to die . But i dont want to die because i see happy people around me and i want to be like them.
That's the dilemma of depression i guess. You want to live like others with all the good things in life but you dont have the mental power to overcome the depression, so you end up wishing yourself dead.
Joined: Jan 01, 2005 Posts: 16 Location: Netherlands
Posted: Tue Oct 10, 2006 10:31 pm Post subject:
Well i do know why i am depressed. I had a bit of social anxiety but there were moments i could cope with that. But i dont know, i also react very emotional to negative things. I tend to see more negative things in the world. I started a new study 3 years ago but that also went wrong (it went good for a while). So now im even more depressed because i think i cant finish any study i dont know what to do for a living. Well worries get bigger and bigger. My parents gave me all the chances and i didnt take them. My childhood was good. After high school it went down hill.(well there were years it went a bit better with help).
Im a young adult and am behaving like a elder grandpa who doesnt enjoy things anymore. Even that makes me feel ashamed of myself.
I have suffered with depression which isn't helped by the social phobia at all! I really hope you feel better soon. I think you should go to the doctors too, that's what they're there for. The trouble is with depression you end up feeling like you don't really matter any more, but to make that change you have to take control. You know where you're at and to make that step by going to the doctors can help you.
I don't know about you but while dealing with social phobia and depression when you feel good and you think you have managed to do something to like yourself, you feel really high. But when the lows kick in you tend to feel lower than ever. The happier I used to get after I'd find myself incredibly down. I think it might be something to do with what you feel you deserve.
Im a young adult and am behaving like a elder grandpa who doesnt enjoy things anymore. Even that makes me feel ashamed of myself.
I know exactly what you mean...you don't enjoy things, you don't go out, everything is negative and bad. And then on top of it you feel guilt for not enjoying life and not being positive etc. So you're trapped in this cycle. People want to know less about you when you're down and disinterested too.
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