The only good poem I ever wrote

LittleMissMuffet · Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2006 4:35 am Post subject: The only good poem I ever wrote

I'm not much of a poet, so I don't pretend that this poem is particularly wonderful. I think that it is anywhere from profound and inspiring, to simple and boring -depending on what frame of mind a person is in.

I did get it published though!!! Smile

So, here goes....

'Black and White'

Black and White were related
but tween no two colors was there such hatred.
Black said, "I'm meaner!"
-and White, 'But, I'm cleaner!"
...so went the war of the colors.
Then one day battle grew soft
blood-and-flesh brothers
-skin'd torn off!
What did they saw?
The other color was at the core.
Bloody-and-fleshy
skin torn away
Slithered together
Now they is grey.

someoneelse · Newbie User Joined: Sep 27, 2006 Posts: 36

I enjoyed the poem.

cLavain · Posted: Sat Oct 21, 2006 5:03 pm Post subject:

I'm no scholar, but I think it's pretty good! Smile

Question from foreigner: Why are you writing "they saw" and "they is", instead of "they see" and "they are"? I'm guessing it's just poetic licence, so it's probably a stupid question. Embarassed

_________________
:: fear is the mindkiller
:: kein mitleid für die mehrheit

LittleMissMuffet · Posted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 4:52 am Post subject:

Hi Clavain,
Thanks for the compliment.
An english-speaking person once asked me that question.
I use 'they saw' and 'they is' because the poem begins with 2 sides being separated and gradually changes to 2 sides becoming one. It's a poem about no-longer feeling separate from others but finding balance and unity. ...So that is why I combined 'they' with 'is' to illustrate the change in the mind that takes place when 2 unlike things are seen in terms of their similarity. The 2 became 1.

cherish · Intermediate User Joined: Mar 29, 2006 Posts: 102

That's awesome, i like it. I bet you could write other interesting stuff too.

shyandnumb · Posted: Sun Oct 29, 2006 10:56 pm Post subject:

Very interesting, I like the metaphors you had used. Anyway, you did a great work with this poem. Very Happy

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Just another flaw human being with problems~~~