Is "Love at First Sight" possible for social phobi

wiggle · Newbie User Joined: Oct 10, 2006 Posts: 4

I just wondered if love at first sight is possible for social phobics. I found that there's so many things that we worry about and the difficulties we have with talking to talking to the opposite sex that it's impossible to feel any strong feelings for someone when you first see/meet them.

Does anyone else feel like this? I need your thoughts!

nerdgirl178 · Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 9:34 pm Post subject:

Yes it happened to me Laughing

maggie

nerdgirl178 · Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 11:57 pm Post subject:

You say that because it never happened to you Maggie.

maggie · Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 12:00 am Post subject:

nerdgirl178 · Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 12:04 am Post subject:

I hope it does happen to you, its wonderful Very Happy

ozkr · Newbie User Joined: Aug 09, 2006 Posts: 48

Lonelyheart · Newbie User Joined: Oct 08, 2006 Posts: 65

Honestly, I fall in love often and very easily. I think it is something about my biological and psychological composition that causes me to fall in love very easily. I think the portion of my brain responsible for feeling love may be both overly sensitive and overly active.

When I meet a lovely lady with a adorable face and a lovable personality, I have a tendency to fall in love even if I don't know them very well. I almost never daydream about sex; instead, I constantly daydream about love and lovely ladies. When I meet someone that seems to be a lovely lady, I can't help but think about what it would be like to hold that lady in my arms forever.

Kinetik · Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 5:48 pm Post subject:

I don't think it's possible in the strictest sense of the word because love is by definition something that has to be grown and nurtured. You can't plant a few saplings and go "oh look, I've made a forest." You can initially feel physical attraction, mental bonding, tenderness, understanding, empathy, and a whole bunch of other things either separately or in combinations, but "love" as such is something that takes a while. I think love is knowledge - that you need to know and experience things with a person before it can be called that. I mean, I've kissed a lot of (female) frogs, thinking and feeling "she's the one" pretty much every time - and every time I was wrong. So love doesn't seem to be a judgement call, more like an affirmation of proven feelings. That's just how I see it of course, totally personal opinion.

Maarten · Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 6:43 pm Post subject:

Psychologist Jonathan Haidt separates two kinds of love in his book "The Happiness Hypothesis".

Passionate love: This is the kind of love you fall into. It is a wildly emotional state in which sexual feelings, pain, anxiety, relief, altruism and jealousy coexist. Passionate love is like a drug, it blinds you to reality and it is addictive. And after a while it wears off.

Compassionate love: is the affection we feel for those with whom our lives are deeply intertwined. Compassionate love grows slowly over the years.

It is also interesting to note that love is partly caused by the release of the hormone Oxytocin which is the same hormone that attaches mother to child!

Anyway, yes it is possible for a social phobic to experience love at first sight and I myself have experienced this more than once. Normally love is and emotion that makes you very happy but in my case the opposite is true and I wish it never happened. Because I have social phobia I am unable to get in contact with the person I would most like to be with and this of course causes a lot of pain.

Regards,

Maarten

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Buddha.