Anxiety - Can we live a normal life with it?

applesewer · Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2004 8:52 pm Post subject:

I like maths as well, I think very logically. But I doubt that has anything to do with SAD, which makes me think…after reading several posts in this forum it seems to me like everybody has their own unique variation of social anxiety. People feel anxiety in different social situations. It kind of seems to me like SAD is just a label that the science world concocted to help organise and group a whole bunch of people. Which can actually be dangerous cause people might start defining themselves by this label when in truth they are unique…they have their own label for a group that has just one member…themselves. It’s like sometimes I swear I have obsessive-compulsive tendencies and autistic characteristics but I only have 1 or 2 symptoms, never enough to be actually diagnosed.

This actually brings me back quite nicely to your first post – what is normal? I don’t think there is such a thing as normal (at least there shouldn’t be). If everybody in the world is different then how can there be a normal person? The answer is by culture and the media creating a normal person, and then having people peer pressured into following that norm.

Anyway, I’m not sure this will help you much in finding a specific condition that defines “you” because I’m beginning to think that there is no such condition. We’re all unique, that’s what I think!

MrHappy · Posted: Sun Dec 26, 2004 11:42 am Post subject:

A logical mind doesn't have anything to do with SA, it just frustrated me in realising that there isn't a finely calculated answer to explain the way I feel.

Your latest reply is very comforting to me. I have OCD symptoms but know that I wouldn't be diagnosed with it. I also think that your comment about labelling people is right, there are so many people who suffer with all or just some of the symptoms related to SA. The "picklist" for SA is so vast that the a lot of people fall within the brackets.

I am finding that these forums help a lot. We're all educating each other and helping each other relate to and understand our feelings.

BuzzSaw · Posted: Sun Dec 26, 2004 2:43 pm Post subject:

I like what you all say. When I was in school they had me go see a psychologist and he said I had Social Anxiety Disorder, but seeing this person didn't help. I felt more anxious seeing the Psych than going to school, but now I don't go to school anymore, but spend my time surfing the itnernet and playing online games. Just coming to a site like this makes me anxious. I think everyone thinks I'm a jackass.

Fredscarecrow · Advanced User Joined: Dec 11, 2004 Posts: 423

1. I talk to myself. Although I have done all my life…so has my mum (I think) and she doesn’t have social problems so not sure about this one! Might just be a me thing.<<- you have no idea how good it is to hear you say that, i talk to myself, in my head..like complete conversations..like mrhappy said, i dont know if theyre spearate voices, or myself or whatever..
2. Can’t make eye contact<<- i find it difficult to do so, though i can with close people. my teacher, when he found out about my problem was trying to talk to me, and make me promise to tell my parents. He forced me to look him in the eye, i burst in to tears.
3. My legs go to jelly if I feel someone’s watching me when I walk. I probably walk exactly the same but I feel like I’m walking like Mr soft from the Trebor mints ads.<<- i forget how to walk, literally. i jsut cant remember. my bf finds it halarious. i do not.
4. Uncomfortable in front of cameras<<- to a certain extent but thats only because i know im going to look rediculous when on the photo
5. I hate opening presents on bdays and xmas. Everybody watching and judging my reaction to their gift, expecting me to look ecstatic…when, even if I feel ecstatic, a weird kind of nervous grin will fill my face<<- i get nervous, cos i know my face will give away stuff.
6. I love expressing myself through music and art and I love thinking deeply about things.<<- i like music and lyrics, but i cannot put myself into music or create my own, if you get me.i can sopend hours thinking "deeply" about stuff

applesewer · Posted: Mon Dec 27, 2004 11:27 am Post subject:

I’m liking this thread too. So, for sake of keeping it going so I can think some more!;

To Mr Happy (great username btw!!!), what kind of OCD symptoms do you have, if you don’t mind answering?!
For me, I dunno if these are connected to OCD, but things like I wear the same clothes everyday…the only thing I change is underwear and I have about 5-10 differenent tshirts. Same jeans, trainers, jacket, scarf and hat everyday for years!
Plus, they’re all very dull colours….think that might be an SAD thing. Also, I’m the same with routines, I buy the exact same shopping every week and eat the same foods everyday. Plus, there’s lots of other little routines I do too. And it does rattle me quite a bit when a routine gets interrupted for whatever reason.

To Buzzsaw…so do I! I constantly worry that other people dislike me, or that I’ve come across wrong and they’ll think I’m a jackass or something. I guess you just gotta keep being yourself.

To Fredscarecrow…I love that you burst into tears!!! I find that really attractive for some reason?!!

And to RacheH….If you’re still reading, I’d love to hear some of your theories! (no worries if not!)

MrHappy · Posted: Tue Dec 28, 2004 10:19 pm Post subject:

I suppose my OCD may seem quite mild really but a right pain in the ass to me.

I've got a thing about being clean. I wash my hands like twice every time. I was my hands before going to the bathroom and after. I wont put my fingers or whatever near my mouth unless I'm confident they've been cleaned thoroughly. It drives people mad.

I also have a thing about checking plug sockets to make sure i've turned them off before going to bed, checking the front door or car door is locked. I mean checking multiple times !

I've been looking at SA forums now for a week or two now and I've learned loads about myself and anxiety. Bravo to the people who started these things.

Worrywort, you been looking this stuff up for a while? (As I write this post, tis the first time i've logged on and you've not been online!) Wink

Fredscarecrow · Advanced User Joined: Dec 11, 2004 Posts: 423

i dont have any kind of ocd, though i have a few stupid habits..
like when going somewhere in a car i will watch thepavement, whenever we pas a patch of gra i hold my breath, then breathe again when we reach the pavement. i dont know why i do this, i just do. sometimes, when we are passing houses ther will be driveways so its like
grass, driveway,grass,driveway etc..and so i can only breathe in time with them.odd, and stupid. but hey

lol worrywort..the fact that i burst into tears...i dunno..i find it embaressing..but i dunno.lol

applesewer · Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 11:34 pm Post subject:

LOL! Really?!…yea, I’ve been a bit obsessed with the board of late. But I only found it a coupla weeks ago. Before that I’d only found a few SAD information website’s, plus I think about it everyday almost. I just thought I’d try searching in google for “social anxiety forums” and this site popped up. But I feel like I’ve learnt loads already after only reading a handful of posts. It really is a great place this forum.

Something what makes me wonder is WHY we feel the way we feel. I.e. why do you clean your hands all the time? And why do I live the same routines everyday? Is it a reaction to something that happened in the past? Our upbringing or something? Or were we born like it…i.e. its just the way our brains are wired? And is it fixable…or more importantly, does it actually need to be fixed? Is it a part of who we are?

Cause actually, reading these posts, I think that it’s the little things, and the weaknesses that people have that are actually the most attractive parts to our characters. They’re the best bits.

I still don’t know why we feel better for doing these things though?!

MrHappy · Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2004 9:16 pm Post subject:

Well, I haven't always been this was so I believe I have changed somewhere down the line. Why I have changed I dont think I will ever know but I dont think I have changed for the better.

I would like to lose these seemingly ridiculous habits and be able to be a social, fun and interesting person. Sad

I have become a wee bit of an addict to these things.

I check this site at least once every day and the other one that I visit.

It really does help Very Happy

_________________
I'm not like them, But I can pretend,
The sun is gone, But I have a light,
The day is done, But I'm having fun

I think I'm dumb, or maybe just happy
Think I'm just happy