How to make friends?

shyboy1 · Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2004 12:15 am Post subject: How to make friends?

How?? I am so lonely. I was driving around town last night (as i usually do each weekend) and look at all the happy people together in groups having fun times out. I wish I could be like that. Sad

I also wouldn't mind learning how to be calm and able to have conversations around girls. I tend to blush a lot, leading to me feeling like an idiot and then saying nothing. I guess I view the girls differently to guys, in the sense that If I see a good looking one, I just want to be with them (not sexually necessarily).

Guest · Posted: Wed Dec 29, 2004 6:18 pm Post subject:

Seems noone has replied to this... Unfortunately driving around on it's own won't cut it. You need to get involved somehow; emphasis on somehow - it's not easy finding a way. Perhaps you might run into someone randomly at a pub/club, and then meet their friends later and so forth (it happens, even for SPers). Or you might try looking online for friends. Perhaps join a club, depending on what your interests are.

As for the girls, unfortunately I don't have much experience in that regard. I've heard it takes practise, and that's the only way. As they say nothing is for free.

Guest · Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2004 3:19 am Post subject:

hey i am in the same boat! its really hard for me to even look someone in the eye. I have a massive crush a a guy and i have said nothing to him for like months. I get really sad and get down about it. I have no real advice since I am like worse off than you. All i can say is that just hang in there. I just turned 23 and only had one boyfriend which lasted a month Sad

Guest · Posted: Sun Jan 02, 2005 6:31 am Post subject:

Silly idea: I think every city should have a "safe place" for all the shy people to go that has some sort of creed like "All ye who enter here are safe from judgement and laughter just be yourself and if all you do is stare at another person it's okay."

My fear is always being laughed at. I'm actually really serious about the above. I mean if all us shy people got together, probably would be okay since we know we're all in that same boat.

I have found that volunteering helps. Where I live there is a group that sets up short projects (only a few hours). So you're all working on a task and usually it's okay to be quiet. It forces me to work on my social skills. And it's short so if it is unbearable I remind myself it's only two more hours and i'll never see these people again. Also, unlike a club, you aren't required to interact. But if you end up with a good mix of people, it might just come to you.

Anyways, (not that i'm a social butterfly by any means--living in a new city and after two years only two sorta friends....).

peanutduck

toliveistodie · Posted: Sun Jan 02, 2005 7:51 am Post subject:

I can totally relate to you shyboy1, i see groups of people (usually on weekends) and envy their social skills and them having friends, plus i understand about your difficulty with girls. If i see a girl i like i'd prefer to just be with her and enjoy the privilage of knowing her and gain her respect as a friend, instead of just wanting her for sex. Message me if you want and we can talk Smile

cody2468 · Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2005 2:59 am Post subject:

Alot of people with SA lack social skills and this is one of the biggest problems when trying to make friends or getting out and about abit more.

One of the best things to do would be to join a group, something you are really interested in, that way it wouldn't be so bad if the conversation was abit slow as you would have similar things to talk about in the group.

There are lots of ways you can get out there and meet people, its just being able to break out of your comfort zone first and putting in the effort to try something new. The more you get out there the more people you will meet. Who knows you may meey your girlfriend through one of your new friends.