Posted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 4:53 am Post subject: I Hate the World
I full of hate and rage.
I listen to death metal because it make me feel better.
I had a violent childhood, and I dream about taking revenge on the person who caused me so much anguish.
The bitterness I have been holding inside is probably visible on the outside.
Sometimes I fantasise about kicking the shit out of a stranger on the street, if they look at me the wrong way. I'm afraid that if I started, I wouldn't know when to stop.
Posted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 6:03 am Post subject: hate
I would suggest taking some time and really think about your feelings and what has happend to you to cause those feelings. Do this in an objective way, not a judgemental way. Don't let your anger take over while thinking of these things. You gotta try and let go of these things. These moment of your life no longer exist, the damage they've done will stay, but everything that caused them is gone.
Get a punching bag. Once you take control of your rage you will be able to focus this rage, even into positive activities. Use your rage as fuel. You could start lifting weights, exercising, learn a musical instrument.
Another thing you can do is think of things that make you happy, not feel "good", but feel happy. Try to make more time for these things. I hope this helps you.
Joined: Jun 11, 2005 Posts: 116 Location: United Arab Emirates
Posted: Wed Aug 02, 2006 10:54 pm Post subject: Re: I Hate the World
HATE wrote:
I full of hate and rage.
I listen to death metal because it make me feel better.
I had a violent childhood, and I dream about taking revenge on the person who caused me so much anguish.
The bitterness I have been holding inside is probably visible on the outside.
Sometimes I fantasise about kicking the shit out of a stranger on the street, if they look at me the wrong way. I'm afraid that if I started, I wouldn't know when to stop.
How do I stop the rage that I feel inside of me?
HATE, i sound the same, im so damn frustrated all the damn time.
And just as you mentioned tht its getting visible on the outside, sh!t,how come i shouted at a junior in the middle of the school yard, for a stupid reason, then wats even dumber i cried. lol, i guess this was only a reaction from Cipralex's side effects. im not sure, but im sure i was so fckin angry. i was about to smack the girl on the face, but she was freakin out .. i cudnt go any further than swearing. btw that was the first time i cry infront of anyone in school, it was a nightmare.
Once again, i sweared at a girl in my class .. i think i mentioned about her in one of the posts. and again i cried my eyes out after what i did and say.
it was so awful.. and embarrasing tht i cried, no one knew this weak side of me,, i was everywhere, messed up .. i hope its just the side effects .. cuz dammit.. i cannot forget what i've done, and its killing me. i cry every day before going to school .. its the side effects, what can i do?
Now, im off all the drugs, yet i seem to shout and scream at everyone at home, and one day i think im gonna kill my younger sister, if no one took her away from me. its just the same old anger ..
sometimes, i think it has to do with my childhood too.
i'm glad to read this thread as i too have felt amazing rage and fury due to the injustice of my life; especially since it is mostly the "normal" people around me who have caused it or perpetuated it for self interest. I try to make the most of any friendly or good mood i am ever in so that i can be social and nice to people. i hope that will create a ripple effect that will alter the collective unconscious and make people feel nicer to me instead of looking for my vulnerablility so that they can exploit it, put me down, and exclude me.
but of course, sometimes, with some people, i just want to kick their dirty face in until it looks like a wrecked tomato.
there were times when i felt the same rage as you- a therapist told me to write it all down and tear down the paper once i was donw writing it. if you do it a few times, it can help you
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