Quoted from that last link... "Although this disorder [AvPD] is similar to social phobia, it's more about fear of social relationships and intimacy than of social situations."
I'm not sure if it's just me, but I've been unable to access this site by either using the link or typing in the add.
I would very much like to read more regarding this site. Perhaps someone else could check things out to see if it isn't just me? If it isn't, frustr4t3d, would you mind re-checking the add?
Regardless, thankyou for the info.
ShiJai.
_________________ To err is human, to forgive divine.
In a time of universal deciet, telling the truth is considered a revolutionary act.
'Orson Wells'.
I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder...yet my therapist questioned that...she said I was at least a high functioning Borderline. When I read up on Avoidants...I was like "BINGO!" it fit me to a tee. I fall under the category of femme fatale. I all goes much deeper than social anxiety. Av's won't interact on a social level unless absolutely sure of acceptance. This goes for relationships. We choose people who are not really good because they won't reject us. Yet, we grow tired of them, and dump them...without warning (at least I have). Can't face the "talk".
We put on a "face" because we are so scared people will see the "real" us, and not like what they see. We feel fundamentally flawed compared to others. Low self-esteem (even if unwarranted), depressions plays a part. I was labeled "sensitive as a child. My mother was overprotective as well, she put all her fears into me. Watch Pink Floyd's "The Wall"
If I was not "perfect" in a situation I would drop out, instead of just enjoying what I was doing. Constantly monitoring people's reactions to me as well as my body language, terrified of confrontation. Run away run away. Lost many friends due to "fear". People don't understand how exhausting and crippling this disorder is. They say it is easy to treat,but I wonder...looking for help myself.
I posted a question earlier in an earlier post - but reading the last email realized this is my ex-boyfriend. I say 'ex' because he simply decided I deserved better and he couldn't take the 'questions' . Is is common to get so angry when someone asks for clarificaiton or asks 'why'?
He kept this from me for over 7 months though I did a mental note at times that a incident was a bit weird or over the top reaction. Since he came 'clean' the relationship destructed very quickly.
You talk about fear and I have tried to help him through his fear and point out his unrealistic thoughts at times. Well, he only sees this as an attack and not help.
I know it must be emotionally exhausting to deal with this 24/7, but it should be noted that the people who love all of you are frustruated too.
We go the extra mile to ensure we say the right thing. To helplessly watch a loved one self-destruct is the worst pain any person will go through in life.
I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder...yet my therapist questioned that...she said I was at least a high functioning Borderline. When I read up on Avoidants...I was like "BINGO!" it fit me to a tee. I fall under the category of femme fatale. I all goes much deeper than social anxiety. Av's won't interact on a social level unless absolutely sure of acceptance. This goes for relationships. We choose people who are not really good because they won't reject us. Yet, we grow tired of them, and dump them...without warning (at least I have). Can't face the "talk".
We put on a "face" because we are so scared people will see the "real" us, and not like what they see. We feel fundamentally flawed compared to others. Low self-esteem (even if unwarranted), depressions plays a part. I was labeled "sensitive as a child. My mother was overprotective as well, she put all her fears into me. Watch Pink Floyd's "The Wall"
If I was not "perfect" in a situation I would drop out, instead of just enjoying what I was doing. Constantly monitoring people's reactions to me as well as my body language, terrified of confrontation. Run away run away. Lost many friends due to "fear". People don't understand how exhausting and crippling this disorder is. They say it is easy to treat,but I wonder...looking for help myself.
Well said. To speak from my own experience, I dumped my last 2 gir;friends cause I was never attracted to them, but on the contrary, I felt rejection towards them and that granted me anxiety release I needed to be with them.
And although i'm sorry for them, i see my self doing the same thing in the future cause that's the only way (that i know) to be with a girl - to feel absolutely nothing for her.
As for friends, I just ''dumped'' one this weeks, completly rejected him. Same situation here.
Wow. Ether that post made me say BINGO too. More like *ding ding*
I think I can officially say this is my problem too.
The part you said about seeking out people who aren't really good but then growing tired of them, oh man. And then you constantly crave the "one's you really want" right?
Or having friends that aren't as good, but trying to make them good. I think of those movies where the guy dates the geeky girl but transforms her into the hottie. But on the inside she's still the geeky girl full of insecurity.
Wow that is how I am, and it does kind of suck! It's not fair--to the other person. I always wanted the insecure friend or girlfriend but who could pass as a regular on the outside.
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