noise/ and neighbour phobia

nedkelly · Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2004 9:57 am Post subject: noise/ and neighbour phobia

Hi Everyone, how are you all going tday.
Sorry to bug you all again, about myself. Just that i'm having a bit of trouble with something that i think has developed from my social phobia.
Well', here it is...I fear very badly, noise from people that live around me.I am okay with noise at a distance, but i actually get really get afraid, by to loud a noise from my closest neighbours. I guess i have always been phobic of my neighbours(and that was going to be the topic).
But now that i have moved out of home, i cannot cope with my neighbours.
Though, i guess a big part of the reason, is having to move last time around due to neighbours from hell,and having moved into an even worse situation where we currently live. We are trying to find another property(prefferably rural), but these are hard to find(rent), and are expensive.
I have tried so hard to get used to all the noises,but i just can't seem to get used to it.
I guess also, i am a severe insomniac..which no doubt has conditioned me to dislike noise.
But i find myself going out so much(which is difficult to keep up), to no particular destination, just to gety away from it all.
I have a partner who finds it hard to cope with the noise, and she dose not have any anxiety problems. I put her through hell.
I do find it hard out of home, and not having my parents to take care of all the problems, i am finding the transition very difficult.
Am i being to hard on myself? I feel as though i am being irrational about this subject. But i generally feel great fear about noise/neighbours.
Do any of you guys have this pronlem at all?
Thanks for your help guys, hope i don't sound to desperate.

*I should note, that i am fine with noise anywhere else, but where i reside.

cody2468 · Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2004 10:10 am Post subject:

No matter where you go you will always have problems with noisy neighbours, I used to sit inside my flat with both doors closed and could still hear the loud music and kids. I used to turn my stereo up really loud just to drown them out and they never complained once. I'm a shift worker so used to make noise on purpose when I got home from work, I live in a block of flats. One lot of neighbours used to have full on fights every night, used to stand at the back door and you could hear what they were yelling about. Not very nice at all. I keep to myself so it doesn't really worry me.

My biggest problem is nosey neighbours. My front door faces another flat and I can't go out, come home or take take the rubbish out without them watching every little thing I do. This is really getting to me and I'm at the stage where on my days off I don't even want to leave my flat.

Sorry I'm getting off the subject. Don't worry about your neighbours. If you move somewhere else how do you know the new neighbours will be any better

applesewer · Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2004 2:37 pm Post subject:

Yea, I was the same at uni. I utterly hated noisy neighbours. It was fear. I was scared of the noise. I use to tell myself its just sound waves, it can’t hurt you, but I couldn’t help but feel terrified. The worst thing was loud noises or like music playing when I’m trying to sleep. Cause not getting enough sleep would worry me too.
I guess it stemmed from my fear of confrontations; cause I knew that I’d have to ask them to keep the noise down, and that really worried me. They’d most likely be understanding and quieten down, but I was always scared that they might say no, F*** off, and then I’d be totally knackered cause there’s no way I’d have any comeback to that…I’d just run away like a baby.

But I did eventually come up with a vague solution that just about worked for me. Whenever I was awake and trying to work, I’d put my headphones in and listen to my own music really loud and drown everything else out (sometimes not totally but it was enough). Even when I watched TV or films, I’d connect it up so I could listen on headphones if the neighbours were ever being noisy. And then sleeping, I’d buy these little earplugs from “Boots”. They worked a treat for me. And then if I ever needed an alarm clock I’d rest my mobile phone next to me or strap it to my wrist because it vibrated when the alarm went off and that would wake me up, cause obviously an audio alarm clock is no use when you have earplugs in!!!

Sometimes I would mention the noise to my neighbours or flatmates, and sometimes they’d quieten down, but we were in halls at uni and I felt like I wasn’t really getting into the “spirit” of how students are supposed to be. I thought I was always spoiling their fun. So I felt better finding my own solution and dealing with it myself and just keep myself to myself.

p.s. I found it hard also, living away from my parents and having to face problems myself. But I think that’s something you learn with time. I’m better living away from home now than I was.

MRnomates · Intermediate User Joined: Sep 26, 2004 Posts: 114

LilMissTragic · Expert User Joined: Sep 05, 2004 Posts: 803

I had problems with my neighbours. I even started dreading going out my back door but then one day the man next door started shouting at my dog (my dog was a very shy pup at the time) so my dog started barking at him. I was going to be nice about it until he told me he'd kill my dog, that was the turning point, I was up in his face shouting...he apologised as quick as anything after I said "Touch my dog and the last thing you will see is my grin and the glint of my blade before you have even woken up to realise whats happening'. Him and his wife have been real nice since but I hate pretentious people so now I just totally blank them.
sometimes ya just have to stand up dor yourself, no matter how hard it might seem.

Horatio · Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2004 11:13 pm Post subject:

Im the other way round... I hate noise and neighbours but it is my noise that I hate. Im so scared of a confrontation that Im always paranoid Im making noise that might be disturbing them. So especially at night time I am VERY VERY quiet

LilMiss - how are the hounds by the way? Razz

LilMissTragic · Expert User Joined: Sep 05, 2004 Posts: 803

Hey Horatio, they are fine ta, you still owe me a walk Smile

but I suppose I will let you off that since you live just a little too far away.
How are you doing anyway?

Horatio · Posted: Fri Dec 31, 2004 1:18 am Post subject:

Hope · Posted: Fri Dec 31, 2004 4:17 am Post subject:

nedkelly · Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2005 10:53 am Post subject:

Thanks for your help guys. Nice to know,that it just aint me.
I don't feel so silly now!
You have helped heaps, and gave me hope that one day i will get that property that is normal!