Joined: Dec 25, 2006 Posts: 51 Location: Toronto, Canada
Posted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 5:46 pm Post subject:
Warlock, I know exactly what you mean about the constant lack of concentration and always wanting to erase something moments after you've written it. I am too sick of this endless regretting of all the times when I deviate from my typical social phobic behaviour, like speak out more than I tend to usually, or post something online that is my own opinion. And that's really ironic, considering how I should be proud of myself for refusing my social phobia take over my whole personality.
I used to attribute these racing thoughts disabling me to concentrate to ADD, but I guess they're there due to my anxiety mainly. The avoidance comes in when you don't even bother to read a book or write something because you dread facing regret again. But like you said anything beats feeling this emptiness... Regret is still better than emptiness, right?
_________________ "...it was simply a day for screaming at inanimate objects..." -Anonymous
"The idea is to stay in a state of constant departure, while always arriving." -"Bill Wise"
Joined: Dec 27, 2006 Posts: 3 Location: California
Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2006 12:27 am Post subject:
I can relate, Warlock, I will type something than read it over and judge it than erase it because it wasn't perfect and I feel as though I will be judged or it won't make since to anyone. It's horrible and it causes ALOT of anxiety. When I'm on here at night and I'm reading posts from everyone I will want to respond but I just get so exhausted trying to make it perfect so I just delete the whole thing... So I won't have to read it later and actually be embarassed by what I wrote.. I will even feel my cheeks blushing, my heart rate go up and feel my body temp go up... weird... !
I've abandoned the forum I last belonged to because of overanylizing what I posted.. I've abandoned having any friendships due to not wanting to get hurt or rejected.
My thoughts are getting scrambled so I better go.... anxiety is kicking in
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So I won't have to read it later and actually be embarassed by what I wrote.. I will even feel my cheeks blushing, my heart rate go up and feel my body temp go up... weird... ! 
