Advice needed for situational anxiety problem please.

Swindlered

Hi,
Just signed up so hopefully I am posting in the correct place. I am 26 and ostensibly everything in life is good apart from a anxiety disorder which gets in the way of ever having a relationship with a girl.

Basically it only kicks in if I want a relationship with someone (I am fine with females where I see the relationship as purely platonic).

If I have to contact them by text, phone or meet them my body floods itself with adrenalin?? Making my heart race, breath short and leaving my concentration / mental levels low.
This effectively stops me from coming across as myself as I just seem nervous.
I also seem to spend a large amount of time on edge which effects my sleeping.

I guess l am also not alone in saying that I know rationally I have nothing to fear but seem unable to stop my sub-conscious acting on its own.

Thus far I have tried hypnosis which didn't work and replaced tea & coffee with Camomile which only slightly eases the symptoms. I was going to try Kava Kava & Pure calm next.

If anyone has any advice I would be eternally grateful!

countrybumpkin · Posted: Sun Jan 09, 2005 9:09 pm Post subject:

I have exactly the same problem as you Swindlered , tough ain't it? It's easier if you can move slowly with a woman , small steps one at a time til you get relaxed and then move to the next step . Still hard but do-able.It's tough to find a woman who can handle this , but there are a few out there .

GettingThere · Posted: Mon Jan 10, 2005 9:50 am Post subject:

I had an exgirlfriend with this problem. It was a different relationship because of the problem. She eventually sought attention consulting a therapist but this didn't happen until after we had broken up so I don't know for sure how she she went with the treatment.

I did hear that she ended up in a relationship and had a child so I can assume that the treatment helped.

FruitLooPs · Posted: Mon Jan 10, 2005 11:17 am Post subject:

I too have problems with anxiety almost solely around relationships or being friends with a girl.

Spose thats pretty normal, but most people actually get past it.. mines just higher than the average person. That and the fact it gets me pretty down thinking about it.

I only know one girl, and the only contact I have with her is via txt - even thats taken a dive lately. txting somehow seems to relieve the pressure I would feel over the phone or in real life. Being able to take time before responding is probably why.

Problem is I have her no. and have known her for well over a year, gone out on occassion in a group with her and some mates etc. - she must think im pretty wierd to have not really made the effort to call her. Sad

Anyway, Welcome to SPW enjoy your stay and all that.

P.S. Sorry for semi-highjacking your thread too btw Smile

Swindlered · Posted: Mon Jan 10, 2005 10:08 pm Post subject: