Posted: Tue Feb 27, 2007 2:19 am Post subject: What would you like others to do?
Do you want people to help you or leave you alone? If help, what would you like them to do to help? Do you want professional help, rather than help from people in your work. family, or school life?
After you get past the answers like, "I just want it all to go away and be normal," or "I want a pill to make me feel like everyone else," what is it that might be more realistic that you want? I'm hoping to get some responses to help me gauge the reasonableness of what I want others to do.
Personally I just want people to really understand more and not just think they understand.
I posted the question elsewhere and got several responses.
Respondents said they want to feel included in the lives of others. They would like reassurance and less anxiety. They want to learn how to interact with people. Respondents said they want to feel like they matter to other people. They want to be treated with dignity. They want other people in their lives to learn something about AvPD and not feel alone in their own efforts to address it.
No one seriously said they just wanted a pill to get better. No one described anything burdensome they expect the people around them to do to accomodate them. Most people acknowledged the need to do things for themselves, but they would like support in their efforts. I think those expectations are reasonable and the failure to receive support shows that this is a 2-way problem. I don't know how anyone can get better without the involvement of the people around them, but I also don't know how to cause that to occur.
Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 1:44 pm Post subject: Re: What would you like others to do?
Spearmint wrote:
Talk about putting a hard question forward, we're sufferers here, go easy will ya
The question isn't intended to be hard. It was inspired by a response I got to a post on another forum. I made a comment on how if people around truly felt any empathy, they would try to do something to help. The response disagreed that help should follow empathy and that it was unreasonable to expect help from anyone. I thought I would ask what people wanted and as you might get from my other post, I don't think the sort of help people want is unreasonable. That still leaves me with the conclusion that the avoidant reaction isn't entirely the fault of the avoidant, but that the conduct of the people in that person's life can also be assigned some responsibility.
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