My Nick says it all

lifesnotfair · Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 4:03 am Post subject: My Nick says it all

Basically my nickname says it all

I keep reading about how people should feel love, should cuddle, should have Sex, and people experiencing their feelings about that, fine i have no problem with that, but what i have a problem with is, is that it is so expected for people to feel like that, and to those people that are fortunate enough to experience love and happiness from other people, well basically makes me upset and jealous, because it seems like even with people with SP can get this, and yet, i haven't even had a girl hold my hand, and i am nearly 23 years old.

Of course, you have to go out and have interests and have a life in order for people to meet, however because of the lack of people that want me around them, and the total lack of respect i have for the whole "social scene" makes me wonder what the whole point of life is? seriously.. when you go around for so long feeling miserable and full of hate, its really hard, if not impossible to change how you feel about certain things. A good example, is racism, when you around that environment where people hate other people because of a specific race, you really never get out of that hole that you are in, Depression works in the similar way, no matter what medication, or therapy your on, you really never recover fully from depression, social phobia, and the target that you have over your head that you aren't worthy of love, women dispise you, and you end up living alone for the rest of your miserable pathetic life.

*amen*

kody · Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 6:33 am Post subject:

I have a fair understanding of what your going through, as would most people on here.

Here's the thing though. If you had your entire life handed to you on a silver platter, would it make you happy? Probably not. When everything so easy its very unfulfilling. You need only look at the rich and famous and their relationship problems and drug abuses to see, that you can have everything and it still won't make you happy.

What then makes you happy?
Its certainly not easy, In fact its one of the hardest and bravest things you can do, but you just have to take a stand and say, "I don't want to feel this way anymore, I want to be happy, I want to accept life's challenges and I want to make most of the opportunities I am given."

As for the social scene, is there really a problem with it, or is the problem with us? I would readily admit that often society is about using people and trying to put our best face on, but still behind the bs you can find love and friendship and people who care about you. Sometimes you just have to start and care about them. As for people wanting you around them. Well 1. You need to get people to like you, this is not particularly hard, just work out what they like and be like that. 2. You can always find other people who want you around.

What makes the human race so successful as a species is the fact that we are so adaptable and flexible. If conditions change, we are creative and we can work out how to meet new challenges. Being quiet and standoffish as SA makes you do isn't going to attract anyone especially members of the opposite sex, but here's the great thing. YOU CAN CHANGE. Its all very possible.

limbo2 · Guest

basically my nick says some feelings too. except for the number two maybe. anyways.

Well, life's not fair. lets imagine that suddenly a girl loves you madly. u just looked at her at the subway and she could not stare any other way. then she talks to you and suddenly she says she loves you and she would do anything for you. Amazing, you have the love of the girl. yet you dont know if you like her or not, because you dont know too much about feelings. with time. you start to feel something for the girl, who doesnt go away even when you dont seem to care. Ok. so your life is fixed. you have someone to love you.

now what?.

Now tell me what is life about. nobody knows what is death about and nobody knows excatly what is life about except living it. the facts of having someone to love you doesnt really concerns your life will be fixed.
you need to be smart enough to ACT whenever you have to act in order to feel happier ( brushing ur teeth, making you some steak. going to movies, drawing, etc ) what makes every individual happy might be different for everybody. i believe you have some kind of fascination for paranormal topics but i might be completely wrong.

If you want to know about life, study physics.
If you want to know about girls. met them. we all are humans with bellybuttons. if you want to blame somebody. blame the big bang.

Im also negative in some way. i know you already found this.
peace.

limbo2 · Guest

hey life's not fair, i just read the post about cuddling and having sex, wich is weird in a SA forum. since people is suppose to not even have the courage to talk with people or see people in the eyes for too long.

I think its indeed out of place and werd. so i understand

FreD · Guest

Guest · Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 7:53 pm Post subject:

What is pathetic is your self-misery. Your nick says it all- you believe that you have no control over your emotions and it's everyone else fault!

LilMissTragic · Expert User Joined: Sep 05, 2004 Posts: 803

Life is what you make it. So, you have SP but so does everyone else on this site. Its easy to sit there and feel sorry for yourself, we have all done it a number of times but it isn't going to get you anywhere. I'm just curious as to what you are doing to help yourself.

lifesnotfair · Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 9:47 pm Post subject:

i have tried to help myself, talked to my doctor, a shrink, taking medication, however i ether a) refuse to go out to meet people, or b) there is no place where i can go to meet people. I am not feeling sorry for myself, as i am trying, but as much as i like to think that i am doing things to get myself better, it seems to be not working. Now some of you may think that i am feeling sorry for myself.. not the case, i am telling you the dead honest truth about how i feel, and yes i do believe that certain things are other peoples fault such as causing my depression.

however with regards to women.. well thats something i don't think will happen, because as much as i try, i go nowhere fast.. so i have just given up entirely on trying.

limbo2 · Guest

Michelob512 · Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 11:05 pm Post subject:

here's my advice: when you're desperate, get spiritual. And the best, most interesting option there is mysticism and the wisdom traditions. Maybe Buddhism- that might teach you a lot about suffering. You don't have to pick a religion, though, you can learn meditation- I find it to be a great hobby that will probably help with your SA as well.

If you cant get a job and have nowhere to live and you ahve SA, you're almost screwed, I don't think this is your case though.

If spirituality doesn't appeal at all and you won't even agree to consider it, then find an interesting hobby. You don't need a girlfriend to be happy.