Questioning reality/life etc

sticks · Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 12:36 pm Post subject:

I have had those feelings too, I completely know what you're saying, its all part and parcel of an anxiety disorder. I would still suggest you try meditation, because as everything comes from the mind, being able to control our minds is the key to peace

marT · Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 12:44 pm Post subject:

cheers, im glad someone has felt the same.

yeah im definately going to do the meditation, i've got books being sent to me as we speak along with cd's, i'm just waiting for them to arrive and then i can start.

sticks · Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 12:55 pm Post subject:

Books are great and i think they can really help, but to get you started, it might be a good idea to go to a class to get some guided meditation for a while until you grasp the basics, then you can make it part of your everyday life. I am going on 3 day meditation retreat in march to a place called manjushri in north england. I am a total beginner so i think that some intensive 'training' in meditation will be a real help. I also got the book 'teach yourself meditation' by naomi ozaniec, thats helpful

marT · Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 1:34 pm Post subject:

thanks for the heads up!

my mum has done lots of meditation using classes so shes going to help me along, but if that fails then yeah i'll go to some proper classes.

sticks · Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005 2:31 pm Post subject:

sorted, good luck

fluffy · Newbie User Joined: Jan 23, 2005 Posts: 34

Hello Mart,
l have now been going thought Anxiety/depressionand postnatel depression( so my docotr tells me), for 7 months, it started about a month after l had my 3rd child. l actully like to have a smoke now and then. l dont drink at all. anyway l thought l smoked a little to much because l tripprd my brains out lol. and truly thought l was going to die.l couldnt beleave my luck, l had a shit of a child hood till l was 16, when l met my husband and my life changed for the better. But then he became terminlly ill, and l have been his full time carer for over 10 yrs now. l also have 12 yr old boy thats ADD..but l have delt with these hand outs for so long, l couldnt beleave that was making me so sick. after about 5 days of this feeling getting worse to the point l thought l was having a heart attack.and l was rushed to hospital, after a blood and a heart ultra sound they sent me home, making me feel very silly.
l went to my local GP, she sent me home with antie-depresents they made me worse. 4 docotrs later, mind you they all just took the word of the last doctor, and they didnt do any more tests.The stages of this illness, made me keep thinking the doctors are wrong.it was like l had a brick sitting on my chest , pains down my arms, l couldnt breath,l even wrote goodbye letters to all my kids and my husband, the only thing that did make me feel a little better was writting everything down, then l found a web site , with this lady that sounded just like me that really helped, as much as l dont like anite-depressents l am taking them its called Lexapro and l take valium at night when l need it. l'm so tired all the time, my house has turned into the biggest mess, l feel like lm letting everyone down, we dont have any out side family, and we not long moved interstate so we dont have any friends.But this new forum that l have found is the best thing l seen. To actully no your not the only one going though this . To think your not going mad it really helps..
hope this all makes sence as it also has made it really hard to write or read lol.. Shocked

this is pretty much how l feel lately..

Guest · Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2005 4:53 pm Post subject:

i kinda know how you feel. i get thsi feeling that im drifting away from real life and im losing myself. it's scary because i fear that i won't be able to come back.I don't understand it either. It's like you're in a state of dreaming kinda where u r just going thru the motions and your soul is slowly dying

fluffy · Newbie User Joined: Jan 23, 2005 Posts: 34

dan246 · Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2005 6:00 am Post subject:

I didn't tell my whole story when I was trying to summarize the physical symptoms of derealization. Man, the first week I thought I was done. It all started one night when I decided to smoke a little bit. I guess I smoked a little too much and just as fluffy said, I tripped my brains out. It's scary shit. I didn't know I was having a panic attack. I thought I had either lost my mind, or was having a heart attack or stroke or aneurism. So many thoughts were running through my head. That's when my life took a turn for the worse. The first week was absolute hell. I couldn't hang on to reality. I missed an entire week of school (this was when I was in high school) and slept all day. When I was awake I thought I might be sleeping. My dreams seemed to drift in and out and I eventually came to the conclusion that I was truly going insane. I couldn't keep track of time and I couldn't stay awake a full day. I was so exhausted all of the time. Eventually I went to see my doctor and was put on xanax. I was referred to an anxiety specialist. This was my turning point. Just reading some information he gave me, before I had actually met him, made me feel so much better. One of the questions he gets quite frequently is "am I going insane?" When I went to see him he taught me so much. Just knowing that this was all caused by hyperventilation made me feel so much better. It's hard to believe how powerful the body is. We went through desensitizing exercises to help me realize the absurdity of my worries. I was so concerned with going crazy that I had thrown myself into a loop. I would get anxious because I felt all fuzz-brained, then I would feel more fuzz-brained because I was anxious. Once I broke the loop and stopped caring about it, I felt a lot better. It still took me a lot of time to get over it but I did. My advice to all of those suffering from this is to see a specialist. It costs some money but nothing is more important than your health. Find someone who specifically treats anxiety patients. Just hang in there. I know how terrifying it can be. Your soul is not dying. It’s just scared as hell.

marT · Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2005 7:22 am Post subject:

yeah dan thats exactly what its like, feeling so dazed and just sort of out of touch, almost drugged. I often feel better at night and i have no idea why this is. I have talked to a specialist and he said im not going insane but sometimes when im feeling messed up its hard to remember it or beleive it. sometimes i'll be on the computer or something and i'll suddently get very racing thoughts of panic for no particular reason, this is what frightens me that im going insane.

I've started meditation so hopefully with time i'll start to feel better, i do feel better than i did when i first wrote this thread i think, just exhausted really.