ummm....where is this place that I can socially experiment with really cute, really uninhibited, sweet girls in a low pressure environment where there is no social judgment, no rigid rules for conduct, where I can just be myself.....
Joined: Jan 02, 2005 Posts: 461 Location: Australia
Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 1:30 am Post subject:
For every shy guy in the world, there is a shy girl. Trick is getting the two together. I see no reason why the two can't meet through the medium of one of the many personal sites online. You just need to say that you are shy and even indicate that you are interested in meeting another shy type. This brings to mind the lyrics of a song sung by Bette Midler;
"The Rose"
Some say love, it is a river
that drowns the tender reed.
Some say love, it is a razor
that leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love, it is a hunger,
an endless aching need.
I say love, it is a flower,
and you its only seed.
It's the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance.
It's the dream afraid of waking
that never takes the chance.
It's the one who won't be taken,
who cannot seem to give,
and the soul afraid of dyin'
that never learns to live.
When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been to long,
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong,
just remember in the winter
far beneath the bitter snows
lies the seed that with the sun's love
in the spring becomes the rose.
Joined: Apr 07, 2004 Posts: 339 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 1:33 am Post subject:
I have agoraphobia, so I never leave the house without my mother. Needless to say, I don't want to talk to a guy with my mother there, so I'm limited to doing it online. I have very few problems with online conversation.
Go to a place where you can socially experiment with really cute, really uninhibited, sweet girls in a low pressure environment where there is no social judgment, no rigid rules for conduct, where you can just be yourself.
1) Where can you meet girls and talk to them in a safe environment?
2) .... have sypathy to correct your thought and re-adjust your perceptions? Assuming I had the courage and oppurtunity to meet these girls... what kind of a girl would waste her time allowing me to describe my feelings.
3) ok, I'll give it a try, I will practice doing things I fear, small things at first.. like making boring convo.... not necessarily to attractive women though... that's a bit too much for right now.
4) ummm....where is this place that I can socially experiment with really cute, really uninhibited, sweet girls in a low pressure environment where there is no social judgment, no rigid rules for conduct, where I can just be myself..... is this a place called Utopia? umm... cute, uninhibited and sweet girls? I don't believe such a girl actually exists? would be nice though.
I have agoraphobia, so I never leave the house without my mother. Needless to say, I don't want to talk to a guy with my mother there, so I'm limited to doing it online. I have very few problems with online conversation.
I really feel for you.I'm always complaining about my sa,but at least I can go to work and go out at night (although I don't always feel comfortable a lot of the time at parties).But it's hell meeting girls,as I don't have great conversation skills (quiet most of the time) and I have low self esteem.If I do meet one I feel it's doomed from the start,as I 'm always telling myself that I'm not good enough for her and she will get fed up with boring old me quickly.I hope one day I will find one that really understands me and will accept me as I am.But I guess I need to accept myself first.
You really should try to get some help with the agoraphobia.It's ok to go out with your mother,but think about all the things that your missing out on by limiting yourself like this.Seriously please do promise yourself that you will seek help for this,as you are missing out on so much,even if the world seems to be full of hateful people,there are still some real nice people in this world also.good luck
Joined: Apr 07, 2004 Posts: 339 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 10:19 pm Post subject:
Anonymous wrote:
Seriously please do promise yourself that you will seek help for this,as you are missing out on so much,even if the world seems to be full of hateful people,there are still some real nice people in this world also.good luck
Thanks for the support. I start CBT next week. It might even work.
Joined: Feb 01, 2005 Posts: 8 Location: United Kingdom
Posted: Wed Feb 02, 2005 12:03 am Post subject: problems with talking/dating
I did all that. You all wanna know how I coped with it? I grew older. I always thought I was somehow cursed, or ugly, or something like that. All I wanted was sex with a woman - and I was like too ugly. Ughh!
I will talk anything at anytime with any one. Wanna talk?
Mathgan
Posted: Mon Feb 21, 2005 6:02 am Post subject: RE: Social(dis)grace
I am so totally held back when it comes to dating because of my insane shyness. Its also hard for me, because I am a gay guy, so even if I am able to say to myself "eh, rejection won't matter that much, its not like I am losing anything", I face the fact that godforbid the guy is straight, it may result in a nice pummeling.
It totally stinks not being able to just go up to people and talk to them... it is so easy for some people.[/i]
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