I dont like attracting attention

IknowIhaveSP · Newbie User Joined: Dec 28, 2007 Posts: 49

I dont like attracting attention. However, unfortunately I'm attractive. I hate to be followed up, overheard whatever. But people always wonder me cause I look a bit mysterious and unfortunately they say I'm beautiful. My remedy is escaping from all people especially men. Because they want to talk to me but I dont.
I just want to dig a hole and hide into it then nobody can see me.

SocialRetahd · Expert User Joined: Dec 02, 2006 Posts: 762

If you hate being attractive, then maybe you should splash battery acid in you face or try some other method to disfigure yourself.

It's a lot worse being ugly.

alex29 · Intermediate User Joined: Dec 15, 2007 Posts: 136

it might feel like a bad thing for you now, but don't you want to conquer your SP? wouldn't being attractive help you talk to people? you don't have to make any first moves if they just come to you. i can understand your feelings (not that I share them! LOL) but you should look at it as a positive thing. when you're ready to be around other people, it won't take much effort! Smile

RedRibbons · Posted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 4:16 pm Post subject:

Why don't you want to talk to them?

jellybean · Newbie User Joined: Dec 28, 2007 Posts: 61

i feel the same I actually just wrote the exact same post the other day but mine wa that I hate standing out and I hate attention that being pretty brings. I hate the way people judge me I hate the way girls are jealous of me I hate the way guy friends always want more and I hate the way I attract attention. I just want to melt into the background but I stand out. I know people reading this wouldn't see it as a problem but it is a problem it's difficult to deal with Social Anxiety when all you want to do is blend in but you stand out! I totally relate to what you are saying but I think if we could be happy with who we are inside we could be more comfortable in our own skin. Im trying to do that but I dont seem to be making any headway with it, I just can't accept myself coz I feel like Im bad company and not fun, chatty and interesting enough! I avoid social situations especially one on ones like friends calling over, Im ok in a group coz the pressure is off me to make conversation but still Im so vulnerable at the moment I find it difficult being around anyone at anytime! Im so bored and want to be healthy but Im trapped inside myself feeling inadequate Sad

IknowIhaveSP · Newbie User Joined: Dec 28, 2007 Posts: 49

Have you seen Jellybean's reply to my message. I quote it below. That's the exact reason and I really dont know how to change myself and how to be a more outgoing person Sad

"I feel like Im bad company and not fun, chatty and interesting enough!"

IknowIhaveSP · Newbie User Joined: Dec 28, 2007 Posts: 49

Yes Jellybean you are the only one that understands me. I really dont know how to overcome this problem. I'm so depressed and dont know what to do. I feel like I'm trapped too Sad

And I'm always misunderstood. They make judgements on me which are totally wrong and dont know how to change people's minds Sad

But I think the real problem is to be so quiet and not chatty, because people dont need you around if you dont talk to them, dont tell your stories and if you are always the listener. All my ex-boyfriends were in love with me crazily at the beginning but when we broke they were always singing the same song. You dont talk to me, you dont tell anything to me Sad

Danfalc22 · Newbie User Joined: Nov 17, 2007 Posts: 47

IknowIhaveSP · Newbie User Joined: Dec 28, 2007 Posts: 49

Yes you're right. But you know that makes me feel much more miserable. I feel like I'm really a loser, a weird person Sad

That's why now I'm escaping from all men (in fact all people) which is also a stupid behavior. I just dont want to be judged as boring or being silent again. I dont want to hear that. I dont want to be judged like that again. I have no problems with the friends already I have and there is no problem to find topics to talk to them but when it comes to a new environment or men I am such a quiet and a boring person. I really feel like having two personalities. I just told one of my friends that I searched on the internet and I have SP but she didnt believe me because I'm not acting awkward to my friends. I dont know how I could make those friends at the past but cant right now Sad

And now I'm an expat to another country and I am all alone and feel so miserable. I dont have friends to go out and I cant make any friends. I feel so sad, desperate, low and whatever negative. I need to think positively. I force myself but I cant. I know the problem but dont have strength to make a move. I dont have that courage. This is so stupid and weird. What kind of a personality is this? I hate the way I am Sad

Butterflies · Intermediate User Joined: Oct 10, 2007 Posts: 137

It's hard to be always standing out when you have SP.

I am not recommending this, just saying- a beautiful person can make themselves look ugly if they really want. Personally - I think you should embrace your beauty - accept it as your gift and work it! Although this isn't easy.

Beauty can be a curse in some ways (you've already highlighted these) but beauty also brings you opportunities that others don't. Eg. You could get a great job on your looks alone, people want you to like them, that's a fact of life - I've seen it over and over again.

That being said - try and focus on your spiritual inner beauty. Try and learn some skills to deepen your horizons within - you know you are beautiful on the outside but what about in? What are your interests? What's your purpose? Learn how to reach out to others (not easy with SP) but it is possible. Try to move your focus from outside to in.

There are resources out there to help you - hard work - but worth the effort.