looking for help to overcome my fear of talking to females

Guest · Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2005 1:20 pm Post subject:

I think that you need to stop putting such restrictions on yourself. My boyfriend at 18 years old wanted a wife, not a girlfriend. He is so much more relaxed now and I feel less confined in my role, I am just me, not his potential wife etc.

Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with alcohol, but I am an Aussie, and we like our grog. But, at the same time, now I am a bit older, I only drink once every three months or so anyway.

Hardcore music and no drugs I know happens a lot (most of my friends don't do drugs at all) and we are into punk music and other harder stuff. I don't think music should be a criteria though because I have found all sorts of different music through my boyfriend's friends that I just love. I would never have even heard of some of it if it weren't for them.

You might need to have your definite no go zones, for me that is smoking. I could never go out with a smoker. I think though, give a person a chance and don't think about five years later, just two days later or something. If it doesn't work out, you might be upset for a while, but you'll eventually find someone who perhaps when you least expected it, was the best friend you ever met.

It sounds like you might be meeting girls in the wrong places too. I met my guy on a train going to a rock concert about 2000km away. We have ages to chat because there was nowhere we could go.

Didn't you say you were only 20? You have plenty of time, don't feel like you have been left on the shelf.

Guest · Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 4:20 am Post subject:

ok maybe i am being to picky but i would just like to find a someone that i have things in common. sometimes the way i am really pisses me off. before i went in to high school i had a lots of friends none of them did drugs or drank and most of them changed as soon as we got to high school. they started to do things that pissed me off and i just stoped hanging out with them. Now when i see or talk to them they are always telling be about all the shit that they have been up to. and how they get fucked up all the time and try to get me to hang out with but i dont. i dont want to end up being some fucking idiot at a bar getting fucked up and then the next moring waking up and not remebering what or who i did the night before. and as far as music goes i cant see my self starting or wanting to change what i listen to to make friends. I want to find someone to accect me for who i am. i know it is picky and stupid and when i am older i will look back and i will think that is was dumb. but for now this is just the way i am.

shyguy05 · Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 4:23 am Post subject:

that last post was mine i forgot to login

Guest · Posted: Thu Mar 03, 2005 11:54 am Post subject:

Most young people do drink and a lot do drugs in their late teens/early twenties. It usually passes as people grow up and realise who they are. I am personally a bit scared of drugs myself (with alcohol as the only exception) but if my friends choose to do that, then so be it. I am very lucky to have found such close friends who I consider my family who don't really do drugs and we have common ground. But, we have individual tastes and that makes life that bit more interesting.

It is hard to open yourself to the possibilty of something different to your own views. But, you have to think, what makes you so right, you have chosen this way to live, but who says there is not something necessary different and better? You might find that you love Jazz music or ska, even though you had never even considered the possibility before.

I guess I can't stress this enough, you have to be open to anything (within reason). I am from a private school and my boyfriend is most definitely not. His Mum did not go to university or ever have a career, while my Mum is a psychologist and won a scholarship to university. Amazing differences in our lives bring such depth to our relationship. We have different experiences and it makes it all the more interesting.

I am not supposing you go out and find yourself a girl with a nose piercing who is into drugs and alcohol, but don't write people off as soon as you meet them, they might surprise you.

emerald · Posted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 8:45 am Post subject:

Good for you, all you can be is who you are. I spent most of my life trying to be what I thought others wanted me to be, and all I ended up being was miserable. I had to make a conscious decision to first of all accept myself, and then to be myself.

Because I was miserable before, people did not really warm to me anyways. now I do the things that I like doing, and I am finding that more people warm to me these days. this is because I am not constantly projecting this "dont really want to be here, not enjoying myself" aura.

Wreck