Blank mind

rafael_josem · Newbie User Joined: May 15, 2008 Posts: 1

Hi,

When im in a group of people i usally stay with my mouth shut and not because im afraid of talking, it just that i dont know what to say, my mind just fills in blank.

For example, let's say we are 5 people and they're talking about women. Tipically, i wont say word and i would just listen. I really want to speak but my mind get stucked and i dont know what to say. But if somebody says: "well, women are this and this", inside of my head i woukd say :
"How didnt i come with that?".

Also im very very bad establishing a conversation and keeping it, but very good at ending it Cool

. I use too many one-word answers, but again, i dont know what to say after that.

Also, sometimes it happens that in a group of people we are talking about a topic that i really know about, in the moment i cant think of something to say, but after that i just get plenty of ideas i could have used back then. It really sucks...

I'd appreciate if you guys have some tips to overcome this.

My solution until now has been reading books on various topics.

What do you think? what else can i do?

Fairy001 · Intermediate User Joined: Apr 06, 2008 Posts: 208

As jaded as this sounds, most people are mainly interested in themselves. If you don't know anything about the conversational topic you could try asking other people how they feel about whatever is being said. Also if you are asked a question, when you respond ask the same question back. Try to ask open questions, one's that require more than a one word answer, example -

It is hot today isn't it?

Versus -

I feel hot today, how are you finding it?

Hope this makes some kind of sense, I know my example is not great, I seem to have had mental block!

Peace xxx

SilentType · Expert User Joined: Jul 04, 2007 Posts: 644

She's right, people love to talk about themselves. I have the same "going blank" problem as you, and I've found if I just continue keeping the conversation moving by letting people go on about themselves while seeming interested, it's a good way to fake our blank minds. I don't know how to fix the problem though, man. I wish I had an answer for you but at least we both know we're in the same boat fighting through the same storm now. As we catch up on our conversational skills (simply due to lack of social contact, in most cases), it will seem like the storm is over and calm seas from then on. You just have to push yourself to get out and slowly your anxiety will fade so that at least you can cope with it. I don't think there's a cure for it, and we probably will live with anxiety all our lives, but as long as we can cope out in the world and deal with everyday things then we're just fine. Just gotta push yourself to have more conversations with anyone; friends, family, strangers, whoever it is, every conversation you have you build on your social abilities. If you feel you can't do it, that's what benzodiazepines are for. If you don't already take them, tell your doctor you want to get over this thing and you need something you can take right before social encounters, and just pop a pill a half hour before and you'll find you're much more at ease in a conversation. I don't recommend long term use of benzodiazepines though, even though I've been on them for two years... I've tried to quit before and it's just not worth the withdrawals... So after six weeks I'd advise weening off, but during those six weeks you've got to put forth an effort to attack your anxiety instead of letting it beat you into submission. You'll be amazed at the results, you just gotta be ready to take the leap out into the social world that we hate so much.

Peace

recluse · Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 6:40 pm Post subject:

Same thing happens to me.......Ummm what was i going to say? Never mind Rolling Eyes

FunwithPineTrees · Newbie User Joined: Jun 10, 2008 Posts: 33

i can;t even talk in forums because ntohign i say is worthwihile
but iwa nt to
jsut nothing is to be said

Hael · Newbie User Joined: Jun 14, 2008 Posts: 7

Anxiety causes my mind to go blank.
So - if I am in a group of people and expected talk - my mind goes blank.

Automatic reaction.

Anxiety = sinking cognitive function Rolling Eyes

lostinspace · Newbie User Joined: May 28, 2008 Posts: 19

When I was taking an acting class at UCLA my teacher, who was a human behavior genius, said that the human mind cannot be made blank. However, I think I am an exception to the rule. I blank out all the time, especially when I am in a pressure situation and have to speak or present. I feel so stupid.

Skooter · Newbie User Joined: Jun 03, 2008 Posts: 26

Same thing happens to me. When I'm with friends and I'm expected to say something I just look like I wasn't paying attention and say "huh?" or "what happened?" Works every time. Sometimes after I do that It gives me a second to come up with something to say to change the subject.

autumn · Newbie User Joined: Feb 05, 2007 Posts: 9

Richey · Expert User Joined: Sep 28, 2005 Posts: 827

I just got back from playing basletball at a school, and this kid always approaches me and talks and talks and talks for the whole time, he follows me around, but yeh even the kid talks about himself and i just joke along with it and respond to him, he talks about his latest pranks on the other students, sports cards he's collecting, stories ...

so it is very true that people generally talk about themselves and their own interests and you dont have to know what they are talking about all the time as you are your own individual ...