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NubCake Newbie User


Joined: Jul 14, 2008 Posts: 5
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 7:46 am Post subject: |
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Yes it happens to me a lot. Usually at work or with a group of people. I always think of what I should have said after the conversation is over. Im guessing adrenaline plays a part in blanking out. So my best bet is to limit stimulant intake... Kind of hard for me since I love my coffee. 
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Lexmark Intermediate User


Joined: Jun 02, 2008 Posts: 277 Location: Australia
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 7:59 am Post subject: |
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I think it happens to all of us because were to scared to be ourselves.
Before I talk im always analizing what Im going to say instead of just being who i really am and saying things naturally.
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TAMPA-BAY Advanced User


Joined: Jul 23, 2006 Posts: 387 Location: -Gulf of Mexico-
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 9:07 am Post subject: hi. |
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Hi congrads on your first post. I agree with the previous post by lexmax.
I notice the problem is I,We go into perfectionist moode where we try to think of the perfect response-perfect topic-and on and on.
The mainstreamers just say the first thing that comes to mind. Try not to be perfect.
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BreachedSecurity Newbie User


Joined: May 29, 2008 Posts: 12
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Posted: Thu Jul 17, 2008 9:18 pm Post subject: |
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I too suffer from this big time to and I agree with the perfectionist comment above, [/quote]
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autumn Newbie User


Joined: Feb 05, 2007 Posts: 9
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Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 12:24 am Post subject: hello |
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My god I am the exact same way. I hate it so much. In a matter of fact I am going to my co-op bar-b-q soon, and I know it will happen again. But I want to go anyways. I will try hard again to try to do better. I am 44 and still have this stupid problem.
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recluse Elite User


Joined: Aug 17, 2007 Posts: 1308 Location: Wales, UK
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Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 10:21 am Post subject: |
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Actually my mind is never blank...More like it's full of random, messed up thoughts so i can't concentrate on normal conversation. I have obsessional thoughts all the time.
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toothpastekisses Intermediate User


Joined: Apr 21, 2008 Posts: 272 Location: England
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Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2008 4:01 pm Post subject: |
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Same, when I'm around people apart from my immediate family I either have no clarity in my thought cause I'm agonizing over how I'm being perceived, or my mind is completely blank and I feel lost, dizzy and thick. I often get words mixed up or just can't find the right words to describe something. I've come to realise though that EVERYBODY goes through this, socially phobic or not, but the problem is that we over-analyse and agonize over everything. I hate it, nobody ever really gets to see the real me...all they see is some silent, I dunno, simpleton, who can't string a coherent sentence together properly. On the internet however it's a different story...This just goes to show that we are more than capable of having mature and intellectual conversations
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billy Newbie User


Joined: Jun 15, 2008 Posts: 71
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Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 5:43 am Post subject: |
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Well i had the same experiences bud. I had this one friend from 9th grade i kept in touch with for 2 years or so. He started invited me out with his friends recently. The first 3 times i did not say a word throut the hours we hung out. Then they tried getting me to get into the convos by making me play argue with them. Then made convos with me if i didnt respond in time they would save conversation deaded which they thoguht was funny but hurt me alot. Then with his other set of friends(3 girls). We hung out twice and they asked if i hated them since i did not say a word. After wall that i havent gotten an invite in 3 months. sucks but i could use some convo skills too. I read reading books and watching tv shows helps make jokes and maintaining convos for you will have more knowledge/ways how to spin things to make it funny. But then again i missed out on high school all 4 years so being put into college now where people know whats cool and stuff i guess would help too. If only i had a clue, think im just rambling now a bit tired:(. guess i didnt explain it well but i tried
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Seras Newbie User


Joined: Sep 02, 2008 Posts: 6
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Posted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:11 am Post subject: |
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>.>
I'm like that too..
I dunno what to say..
so i just say random things...
=0
0=
But it works for me.. 
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loner_forever Newbie User


Joined: Aug 30, 2008 Posts: 14
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Posted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 7:02 am Post subject: |
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WOW it seems like I could have written that post! I have the SAME exact problem. My mind freezes up and I don't know what to say. And when I do manage to say something it seems so out of balance to the conversation... like the chemistry is all completely wrong or something.
I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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