Joined: May 03, 2005 Posts: 1148 Location: England
Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:52 pm Post subject:
toothpastekisses wrote:
I'm starting uni soon in september probably and I'm terrified I was scared enough at the open days so I dont know how I'll cope when term starts
I was nervous at open days too! It's probably natural more than anything.
If you go there with a positive frame of mind, and put yourself out a bit you'll be fine. I found some people are very willing to make friends, it's more social really.
When I was at uni for the year I commuted from home which was probably a bad idea (though student accomodation is so expensive). If you're living with other students and/or join in societies it's probably incredably easy to make lots of friends. There's nothing wrong with you, you're just shy like I am lol. I've become a bit more independant since then and learnt a few things. A lot of people will be in the same boat when you start.
I just finished my first year of uni. I started off in a dorm. My roomate was really cool but wasn't too keen on being my friend. There were a lot of awkard moments in the room...anyways I ended up moving off campus and totally isolated myself from the few friends I made. Although it was pretty bad living in the dorm, I did have friends and was a lot more social.
I had planned on going to university but that all kind of faded away as my anxiety began stripping me of my ambition. I did go to community college for a while and plan to return whenever I get a job. But as far as ever attending university, I doubt that will ever happen now.
I must admit, though, if I had gone it may have proven a big mistake. Some of my social butterfly friends went as soon as they graduated high school and even they found it a lot less wonderful of an experience than they had been expecting.
One friend left after a year or two due to the fact that she couldn't make many friends and she felt like she was in the middle of nowhere. Another friend had her good friend as a roommate and that ended with the two of them hating each other.
Another was such a loner on campus that when her appendix burst she had to take herself to the hospital and wait there alone for over 12 hours.
Suffice it to say that me being the person I am I don't believe I would have thrived in the least on a college university campus. I tried feeding myself the BS notion that perhaps if I tried really hard I could, but deep down I knew better. University is a realm best suited for the social and the highly ambitious. For someone with social anxiety it can be like throwing yourself into the lion's den in hopes that you'll just survive. I guess it's just not for everyone. I suppose that's why, at least here in America, only about 40% of university students ever graduate.
Joined: May 03, 2005 Posts: 1148 Location: England
Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 8:49 pm Post subject:
ljwwriter wrote:
I had planned on going to university but that all kind of faded away as my anxiety began stripping me of my ambition. I did go to community college for a while and plan to return whenever I get a job. But as far as ever attending university, I doubt that will ever happen now.
I must admit, though, if I had gone it may have proven a big mistake. Some of my social butterfly friends went as soon as they graduated high school and even they found it a lot less wonderful of an experience than they had been expecting.
One friend left after a year or two due to the fact that she couldn't make many friends and she felt like she was in the middle of nowhere. Another friend had her good friend as a roommate and that ended with the two of them hating each other.
Another was such a loner on campus that when her appendix burst she had to take herself to the hospital and wait there alone for over 12 hours.
Suffice it to say that me being the person I am I don't believe I would have thrived in the least on a college university campus. I tried feeding myself the BS notion that perhaps if I tried really hard I could, but deep down I knew better. University is a realm best suited for the social and the highly ambitious. For someone with social anxiety it can be like throwing yourself into the lion's den in hopes that you'll just survive. I guess it's just not for everyone. I suppose that's why, at least here in America, only about 40% of university students ever graduate.
I'm sorry about your friends.. things can happen for one reason or another.
If you can progress into a good career you'd enjoy by going to university.. then don't let anything hold you back. There's no rule that you have to do all the typical 'stuff' others do but you never know getting involved in things you're interested in it might not be too bad. What would you do career wise if you don't go? I don't really know what direction i'm going in to be honest.
My first year was a disaster, but I hated the couse so I had no motivation. I had no desire to get involved in anything as a result (it was a hard enough transition to begin with). I lived at home as well so I was isolated. I guess a lot of it is my fault for not getting involved, but I should have left straight away when I wasn't enjoying the course. I'm a bit wiser now. There's a stigma here that if you get decent grades you should go to university. I think around 50% go to uni now, but there's not even enough jobs for all these people. Any idiot seems to get into uni now, i'm not being a snob but it's true. It's not really what I though it would be, but I guess you should treat it as a stepping stone onto better things.
I went to uni and dropped out after 1 yr. I lived off campus with 3 other roomates (just as quiet as me). That is where SA really started ruining me. I would go over a month without talking to anyone, unless my parents called at night. It got to where i couldn't handle it and realized i didn't even like my major. After dropping out i fell into depression and as a lot can relate everything just kept getting worse. But im going back to community college next month and am gonna try and get straightened back out
I too am going to Uni in Sept but i have yet to decide to live on campus or with relatives in a house that is quite close to the Uni. I'm a bit worried about not making friends and then not going out on weekends - which my roommates will then think i am a weirdo for not leaving the house.
I've really been researching the martial arts clubs offered at the uni and decided to take up jujitsu; but i've also decided to stay with family. I may move on to campus next year - who knows.
it sounds like a lot of you are starting uni in september-good luck. I've been there and done that-I graduated in 2003.
Looking back I wish I made more of an effort to be more sociable, I was fine in class but I very rarely went out in the evenings-just buried myself in my work, which I still do now-nothing has changed really. Try and join groups and get involved in activities-again, this is something I didn't do and regret.
Have fun while at uni/college-its a blast. The only downside is when you leave and have to find a job. It took me a good year and a half after graduating to get a job (although I was working freelance and still do.) The world of work is a whole different experience then uni i.e. a pain in the ass. So enjoy!
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I was scared enough at the open days so I dont know how I'll cope when term starts
